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I just added some rereplies to your replies to my comments on your latest chapter.

Some of those would actually be good in the right place.  But boy, you have to know your humor.

A comic is not someone who says funny things.  A comic is someone who says things funny.

I wish I'd know that quote years ago, when management decreed an out-of-time meeting, with the acclaimed Second-City Players as entertainment on the last evening.

They started by telling the same joke (via skit) three times.  It wasn't funny the first time.  It was less funny the second.  And after the third time, I decided that dessert had tasted very good going in, and there was no point spoiling it by tasting it again.  I got up and walked out.

Someone should have told the SCP that their audience would be (a) tired and (b) sober.

One more point on the international scholarly community fostered by the university system:  The symbolic algebra that we take for granted  was invented at a known time and place, in the 1500s.  (A letter by its inventor, describing it, is reproduced with translation in the marginalia of Graham, Knuth, and Patashnik, Concrete Mathematics.)  It took a generation to spread across Europe, undergoing development in the process.

Symbolic algebra allows an ordinary eighth or ninth grade student to handle what was once university-level math, and it surely played a role in every advancement in math and the physical sciences since its development--and that includes the development of calculus into a tool that a mere mortal can use safely.

Structural mechanics?  Thank the Middle Ages.  Aerodynamics?  Thank the Middle Ages.  Elevators that don't make you feel like you've just been grabbed by a Harry Potterverse portkey?  Thank the Middle Ages.  Rocket Science?  Radio?  Optics?  Statistics and probability?  Thank the Middle Ages.

This one.  I'm still learning how to use clubs.

Why have the last three generations of women rejected one of the major marks of femininity, and grown techy about it, too?  Or have they grown techy because the can't escape what they're rejecting?

The word callipygian was invented for a reason!

Lifting it clear isn't necessary.  All they need to do is pull it back off the wall that's protecting its belly.

I presently picture it like a lobster with a very fat behind.  Gotta be a girl .

You could have Jaylene say 'not an antlion exactly.  It's got a front like a lobster.'  It uses the claw to lop off the Sylphie's limbs so it can feed on the fresh, living creature.  Hey, spiders do this, but it still creeps us out.  When the bug is a Sylphie it will be Really Evil.

That means when they first haul it up, they're hauling up the half-living, half-digested Sylphie.  Only when it knows it's in deep danger does it let the body go.  (Tazar will have to use the hook to pull the twitching, dying Sylphie up afterwards--Does Jaylene have rites for an organism that is part of a Founder?)  THEN the fight begins.  Maybe a claw locks on the iron hook and struggles to cut it, distracting the hungry critter.

None of the Catacombs tenderfeet have it within them take this lightly.  Even Taz-man will have something to say.  And Alda's remark is appropriate but inadequate.

Okay, there's a sketch of an episode up in Book 2, chapter 40, A Lecture at the Academy.  It's mostly scenery and power moment.    Amy, you may OD on it, even though you'll spend more words telling me what's wrong with it.

When it becomes a real chapter (Book 2 or 3), the phony names will get filled in and there will be more meat.  Right now it's meant to be very pretty bone and appetizer.

Make an orchard.

You DO have M say it, near the end, in the conversation before the wench gets involved.

Too much Kirsey, then?  Too mich Obiwan, not enough Luke?  Remember that you're seeing a chapter stripped from its context.

That scale does not apply.  Kirsey could frost almost anyone's flakes, excluding Pike's and Threkesrom's, and maybe a couple of other Masters.  Threckesrom now might be good for one or two strong spells, but he's old and tired.  I may give him a minute or two on stage, through.

I'm looking forward and seeing what raw material I'll need and what I'll have.  I may include a comet or two in this solar system.