Quick followup to Amy: There are no stairs in this building. There will be buildings where you go in the basement and come out on the roof, and verse-vica. I think you remember Kirsey's visit to the library?
Oh, and how good a seat is depends on what kind of seat/table you prefer, and subtle differences on your angle of view. The differences are so subtle that your expectations can overwhelm reality.
Gee, don't tell Amy about #4! (And what about theme and thesis? And humor?)
Anant your =Pennies= and my recent non-review, I suggest calling them Slackpence.
Just found out there is a six week lead time for the Salvation Army to do pick ups of donations.
Did you check to see if Goodwill or any church-based charities might be willing to take things?
I just added some rereplies to your replies to my comments on your latest chapter.
We have a couple of single-use forums for writerly advice links. I have a link, but hate the idea of a single-use forum. It makes the lists long and tedious to search.
So here I present Steven King's advice to writers.
I would quibble slightly on #9, on grammar. As I see it, grammar is a worthless master but a good servant, one that does some things well and others ill, and that must be carefully instructed if he is to work his best.
Some of those would actually be good in the right place. But boy, you have to know your humor.
A comic is not someone who says funny things. A comic is someone who says things funny.
I wish I'd know that quote years ago, when management decreed an out-of-time meeting, with the acclaimed Second-City Players as entertainment on the last evening.
They started by telling the same joke (via skit) three times. It wasn't funny the first time. It was less funny the second. And after the third time, I decided that dessert had tasted very good going in, and there was no point spoiling it by tasting it again. I got up and walked out.
Someone should have told the SCP that their audience would be (a) tired and (b) sober.
If it's out there, it's up for review. If I haven't terminally ticked off Amy, I'd like her take on the power moments and description.
Speaking of which, I'll try to get your new chapter reviewed by 10:00 AM.
One more point on the international scholarly community fostered by the university system: The symbolic algebra that we take for granted was invented at a known time and place, in the 1500s. (A letter by its inventor, describing it, is reproduced with translation in the marginalia of Graham, Knuth, and Patashnik, Concrete Mathematics.) It took a generation to spread across Europe, undergoing development in the process.
Symbolic algebra allows an ordinary eighth or ninth grade student to handle what was once university-level math, and it surely played a role in every advancement in math and the physical sciences since its development--and that includes the development of calculus into a tool that a mere mortal can use safely.
Structural mechanics? Thank the Middle Ages. Aerodynamics? Thank the Middle Ages. Elevators that don't make you feel like you've just been grabbed by a Harry Potterverse portkey? Thank the Middle Ages. Rocket Science? Radio? Optics? Statistics and probability? Thank the Middle Ages.
Or see here. Not quite the breadth, a bit more depth.
We record today that calculus was invented simultaneously by Newton and Liebnitz, and refined by four great mathematicians into the safe tool we have today.
And yes, Archimedes of Syracuse brought us right to the threshold of calculus and maybe a little past it.
But we also know that this indispensible, world-changing math was discovered and taught in a variety of schools across India and China. Why was it lost? Or, to put the question the right way round, why this time WASN'T it lost?
A large part of the reason has to be the university system, maybe the greatest contribution of the Middle Ages. See the video.
Which of these would you chose to tape to your writing spot, if you could only pick one?
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
—Jack London
This one. I'm still learning how to use clubs.
Hmm. Numbers four and two are so bad they might be good in the right story. Number two has the sardonic flavor that Ellery Queen used so well in his best period.
The winner is not just a sentence, it's a whole story.
Fat behind. Them's fighting words…
Why have the last three generations of women rejected one of the major marks of femininity, and grown techy about it, too? Or have they grown techy because the can't escape what they're rejecting?
The word callipygian was invented for a reason!
None of the Catacombs tenderfeet have it within them take this lightly. Even Taz-man will have something to say. And Alda's remark is appropriate but inadequate.
This might be a place for Jaylene to start teaching Alda to join her in the rites. Or does Alda never grow to fit that mold?
Lifting it clear isn't necessary. All they need to do is pull it back off the wall that's protecting its belly.
I presently picture it like a lobster with a very fat behind. Gotta be a girl 
.
You could have Jaylene say 'not an antlion exactly. It's got a front like a lobster.' It uses the claw to lop off the Sylphie's limbs so it can feed on the fresh, living creature. Hey, spiders do this, but it still creeps us out. When the bug is a Sylphie it will be Really Evil.
That means when they first haul it up, they're hauling up the half-living, half-digested Sylphie. Only when it knows it's in deep danger does it let the body go. (Tazar will have to use the hook to pull the twitching, dying Sylphie up afterwards--Does Jaylene have rites for an organism that is part of a Founder?) THEN the fight begins. Maybe a claw locks on the iron hook and struggles to cut it, distracting the hungry critter.
None of the Catacombs tenderfeet have it within them take this lightly. Even Taz-man will have something to say. And Alda's remark is appropriate but inadequate.
Sol, when I'm on WiFi the video is the last and slowest thing to load on the inline review pages. If others find the same, you might replace it with a link to the review instead of having it as an embed.
Okay, there's a sketch of an episode up in Book 2, chapter 40, A Lecture at the Academy. It's mostly scenery and power moment. Amy, you may OD on it, even though you'll spend more words telling me what's wrong with it.
When it becomes a real chapter (Book 2 or 3), the phony names will get filled in and there will be more meat. Right now it's meant to be very pretty bone and appetizer.
Hmm. 'Source' sounds more like 'store' or 'reservoir'.
As to the third: what happens to the energy absorbed? Is it simple soaked up and held? Is it dissipated? Is it destroyed? Thrown back at the source? These questions would guide your word-choice.
Make an orchard.
But he's talking about loyalty to Anthony. He'd undermine that by saying outright that he doesn't trust Anthony.
You DO have M say it, near the end, in the conversation before the wench gets involved.
But it doesn't fit the plot. Besides, if I put all the cool episodes in Book 1 there'll be none left for the rest.
Too much Kirsey, then? Too mich Obiwan, not enough Luke? Remember that you're seeing a chapter stripped from its context.
That scale does not apply. Kirsey could frost almost anyone's flakes, excluding Pike's and Threkesrom's, and maybe a couple of other Masters. Threckesrom now might be good for one or two strong spells, but he's old and tired. I may give him a minute or two on stage, through.
Or do you mean that he's too big to be in much jeopardy? I mean him to be a study in the limits of power. For now, his limit is knowledge and the ability to be in only one place at a time.
The Kirsey-Erevain scene might involve someone else, but only a few people could bring the wolves along. (As of now, nobody, but I expect that Kirsey will need to be able to hand them off to at least one other person. Think of those documents Kirsey signed with Threckesrom.)
That scale does not apply. Kirsey could frost almost anyone's flakes, excluding Pike's and Threkesrom's, and maybe a couple of other Masters. Threckesrom now might be good for one or two strong spells, but he's old and tired. I may give him a minute or two on stage, through.
I'm looking forward and seeing what raw material I'll need and what I'll have. I may include a comet or two in this solar system.
