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re: Language: I don't think a ton of reminders are needed as long as you catch the cultural differences succinctly (eg which side of the car does passenger debark on? How does tipping work? The weird don't touch the fruits rule). I think the cultural bits will be far more difficult than language

devil's magic

I've been thinking about the contraction issue for the past week. I've been poking at various texts. Still reaching, but here are my early thoughts:

The sun's not up yet.
--isn't a contraction I would normally use in narrative. I'm sure a few of these may have slipped by

The sun isn't up yet.
--I would use this contraction in narrative. *But* I always boot negatives when I find them. I'd be much more likely to say "The sky was tinged pink with the first traces of morning" than point out the missing sun.

She didn't trust her judgement
--"She doubted her own judgement" or "She found herself second-guessing her facts". Actually, I shy away from these kinds of tags anyway. They're more reader cues than character thoughts. I'd be more likely to write "She shut the door firmly, but hesitated" and let the reader assign the state of self-doubt.

The men ran into the house where they'd left their shoes
--Now here's one I use to solve cadence problems and make a smoother read. I'm thinking about this case. Can I write around it? Probably so. Really it's just a shortcut. I can train myself out of it with very little cost, effectively ending contraction use in narrative.

Definitely a worthy adventure. Thank you for asking this question!

Some more thoughts. Correct me if this rating is incorrect:

Jeb: Understands basic space-time principles + Hadron collisions + particle physics (Basically a genius)
Barbara: Understands a bit more than Jeb (greater genius)
Diane: Understands more the n Jeb & Barbara combine (Super genius)
Heather: Assures us she understands very little, yet can sort out complex temporal dynamics, continuity & cause/effect, not to mention direct Barbara in the operation of  Hadron Collider) (greater genius)

So this scene is about a genius, 2 greater geniuses, and a super genius sitting in a room discussing time travel.

I think you see where I'm going with this. One little tiny scene doesn't need so many smart characters. It's like oatmeal but not having any cinnamon.

Easy fix: Send Barbara or Diane away - these two compete the most for their niche in the genius-continuum. Jeb doesn't need to be as brilliant as he is. He really could just be a Rambo-type "Just give me something to shoot". Or you could mix it up and have Barbara take that role (though this would kinda break your story).

If you decide to leave them all in there, consider varying up at least one's speech patterns. Maybe a specialized accent? That Vroulaca (sp) really stood out last book despite only having like 5 lines.Something like this would help these four differentiate themselves

My comma separates two thoughts. My teachers always said (Paraphrased) "toss in a comma if you want the reader to pause, even if there wouldn't normally be a comma".

That said, I would normally strike out that comma in a revision

No contractions? Seems an unfortunate rule. I can think of best sellers who use them:

I can’t recall what her father did. Once, she explained to me in detail what he did, but as with most kids, it went in one ear and out the other.
--Murakami, Haruki. South of the Border, West of the Sun

Guilty as charged, so I guess I should weigh in.
Disclaimer: I overuse "just", "then", and "so". I've trained myself to spot them on 2nd drafts.

As Deckland says, this "Just then" replaces the actual shortcut word "Coincidentally". It allows two dissimilar events to occur without build up. This is valid in rare or high-stakes situations. Used elsewhere, it's a shortcut.

Using it in an early draft is great. Now you can search it. Every time you find it, ping yourself with another -coincidence-

I recently caught myself having characters walk in on conversations at opportune moments: "... as if summoned, X rounded the corner...". Next draft, I'll be able to solve that by introducing X to the scene earlier, or mention X's imminent arrival at the start of Y's conversation.

I don't have a suggestion for this one. Sometimes, "Just then" is really the perfect phrase. If this was Star Trek, it would be:

Eye movements. It doesn't really bother me. It catches my attention, yes... but I'm able to overlook it (unlike a mixed up their/there, for example, which is just upsetting). Consider this my eyebrows waggling in nonchalant acceptance.

Oh, it's not feed. This clever horse has gotten into one of the character's packs and devoured the humans' dinner. I just need to finesse what's left of it when they catch the rascal. I figure, based on what you say, we'd see a pile of cobs lying around and horse working on the last few ears.

Horse will be a prominent character... I have to crawl into its head a little

Hello MJ

The sites say they'll eat corn typically first eating the kernels, then working their way through the cob. Can you say if this is a good rule of thumb? For example, will they leave the cob back if they're kinda full or have something better to eat? I imagine cobs can't be the best tasting food of all.

It'd be hard, but you could have the teens deliberately not interact with the apparitions when observers are about. For example, in VQA chapter 14, my main is partially aware that no one sees the child so they simply stop talking when others arrive. The 'apparition' has the option to interject  as it wishes, but MC must wait for quiet time to respond