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Got it.

I've made a small bookcase of books that I either want to retread or the authors who matter to me. I've had a hard time reading since I started writing for real

First problem, if the "guard" is called the "Praetorian Guard", then shouldn't the emperor's fleet be called the "Praetorian Fleet" (caps on Fleet)? I'm leaning that way. (Suggest that the Praetorian Guard be capped because it is a formal name. Would also Cap the Praetorian Fleet)

If I call it the Praetorian Fleet, then what happens when I divide up that fleet to attack several different planets, which happens? Is each part of the Praetorian Fleet also to be called Praetorian Fleet, or should those smaller armadas be called Praetorian fleet (no caps on fleet)? I'm leaning toward the latter. (Don't expect the reader to catch such a fine detail as the smaller letter indicating a smaller group of ships. Keep everything capped IMO)

Also, if I go with Praetorian Fleet, then what about the Imperium and the Realm? Should Imperial Fleet be caps when I refer to the whole thing (home fleets + Praetorian Fleet)? It seems odd to write "Imperial fleet" when the emperor's part of that fleet is the "Praetorian Fleet". (Make the Emperor's Fleet with a different name. Ex: Air Force One is whatever plane carries the president. Either call his division The Praetorian.  Either way, cap Imperial Fleet as well as Praetorian Fleet.

That then brings me to the Realm. Should I use Realm Fleet to refer to the whole entity, and Realm fleet to refer to individual armadas? (Make Individual armadas defined by their groupings. Use either boat or animal terms. Ex: Flotilla, or perhaps a swarm? Either way, make it like the army's divisions: Battalion/ Regiment/ Platoon/ Company/ Unit)

One of the Realm planets featured in the story is New Bethlehem. Should its fleet be called the New Bethlehem Fleet or the New Bethlehem fleet? (Suggest you abbreviate to make it easier reading and call it the N.B.F. or come up with a nickname that the New Bethlehem leaders hate but it sticks anyway.  Consider calling it the Flock, perhaps?)

Finally, what do I name the two fleets in the final battle that represent most (but not all!) of the two fleets? Imperial Fleet and Realm Fleet, or Imperial fleet and Realm fleet?  (Suggest that you avoid the repeat of 'fleet' references the same way that you avoid too many names of the same first letter. I.E. Praetorian Armada and the Realm Assembly)

This was a sneaky way to get me to join another group, BTW.  (Evil Dirk!)

You asked: Amy, the trustworthy (sic) internet indicates that roughly 6+ mm deep would probably need stitches, and I think an armour piercing arrow if it hit her just right (or rather, wrong), would be able to do that - some had tips that were wide enough. Please let me know if you disagree

I agree that the arrow slice could need stitches. She would be able to ride, but the use of the arm would be limited. If you want her on the horse with M, then have the bleeding be severe. He'll need to hold pressure on the wound to make sure it stops. Make the cut on the back of her arm so she can't reach it to hold pressure.

Got your back, mate!

A

I'm still writing...

(Typing in my comfy chair and throwing popcorn at K)

It's hard to start again but worth it. Grit your teeth and do just one chapter. Dare you! (Pulls out Pom poms) go Pbyrd, go PByrd!

I'll check it out.

Hey, aren't there four corners in a room? That means we can stick the boys into time-out!

K, you are impossible. Send me to the corner with my computer, at least. Add on a comfy chair, a bottle of Aussie wine, and a bucket of popcorn

Hey folks, I've integrated you reviews into Honor Amongst Thieves. I think I've made massive improvements, especially the beginning. Does anyone have time for a quick perusal?

I'm moving on to part two of this story as my next project...

Thanks. I don't expect to win because of the difference in genre. I just wanted to write something that I could use later and I've never written from Katerin's perspective before. So kudos to JP Lundstrom for having the contest. Otherwise, I might not have thought of this as an option.

The wand history if something that I should probably thin out, but I need to make the first display of magic bigger so that newbies will realize some of the rules. The trick is to make it so that anyone who has read my other material will realize how different it is for Alina's students than every other magic user in my world. Alina's school is a collective instead of their own individual power plant. Since Alina trained them all to work together, they have the ability to do 'major works.' They just haven't figured that out yet.

K, in your language, Alina was a demigod. She was just too dumb to realize the power in her grasp.

Oh, your point about the wands is well-taken. That is why I haven't focused on Katerin's power as much as Anver's. But for this story it is a REAL sticking point. Every new person who reads this will have preconceptions about what Katerin's wand can do. I've got to think about this...