Search options (Page 16 of 58)

I also am wandering in from watchin Tiger in the hunt -- but not so much any more after that last bogey --  and I agree the sentence structure would be a problem if the meaning were not clear, but when it is absolutely clear without defying logic, then the precise sentence structure becomes a non-issue, countless examples where it is not clear notwithstanding, imho. Take care. Vern

As you state, "its" obviously refers to the cheetah, so, I suppose if anyone would attribute "its" to a roar having its picture taken, then we can throw all logic and the rules governing such out the window. I did consider the "a vs the" situation, but ultimately decided it had no consequence in the grand scheme of things. Nothing wrong per se with rearranging other than "startling me" is a bit less dramatic imo. Take care. Vern

Maybe. Nope, they're not just lazy,  they can't roar, so "don't usually" wouldn't be valid in this case. Unless of course the photographer was on a mad scientist's island where all sorts of strange things might happen. Now, we're getting somewhere. The paperback should be out soon. Take care. Vern

Exactly. No they don't. Damn, that was too easy, lol. But perhaps the author will think they do and we can discuss that. Take care. Vern

I tend to admire and lean toward Mark Twain in my writing. That probably has more to do with my own upbringing and also having had him read to the class during our "rest period" in elementary school. Most kids napped; I listened to the exciting stories. I submitted a sample of my writing to one those online sites which tell you whose writing you resemble and it said Mark Twain. I submitted another sample and it said Samuel Clemmons. It is what it is, lol. Take care. Vern

I suppose it's all in the eye of the author or reader as the case may be. However, if a story has already occurred, it is by definition in the past regardless of the amount of time difference. Still, you may as an author relay it as unfolding in the present tense if it fits your narration style.

By the same token, no rules are set in concrete. "So, I pick up my beer and take a drink" is action in present tense, not the past. "I flip him the bird" would also be action in the present tense as told by the author in a conversational voice. There really is no right or wrong for these particular situations; one can have their cake and eat it too. Take care. Vern

Edited to extend quote.

I agree with all that K says with one possible exception in the eye of this totally non-expert. I take it to mean that when you refer to a "guard" informally that you are referring specifically to a member of this elite guard and it is merely a substitute for their complete title much the same way we refer to "Mom" when referring to our specific mother rather than just any mother out there in the crowd of mothers. If that is not the case, then I withdraw my input. But either way, thee is a reason I don't as a rule comment on grammar/punctuation in reviews I may give. Take care. Vern

This is kind of in the same vein as using improper speaker tags such as "he laughed, he blushed, he smiled, she giggled, etc." You can't actually laugh or blush, etc. words but that doesn't stop people from using them or editors/agents/publishers, etc. from frowning upon such usage. To be sure eyes can burn from various things, but they don't burn with frustration. But if an author is going to argue for such use, then it is probably a waste of time to try to dissuade them with the technical impossibility of it. Most likely a future publisher will be the only one with that influence. My opinion for what it's worth. Take care. Vern

Maybe that's why we had a revolution. That's not politics, just a speculative written narrative, lol. Take care. Vern

In thinking about this "correct" use of grammar in writing our stories, I thought about how we use "I vs Me" when speaking conversationally in reality or often times in writing. We all pretty much would say "Johnny and I went to school" which would be correct. But we also more often than not will say "Me and Johnny took a trip" which though incorrect grammatically is more the norm than not because it just sounds better to the ear than "I and Johnny." That would also be the case with the scenario presented by Tirz.

So, let's expand this line of thinking into a hypothetical scene about Tirz's character in Plum:

***Me and Binny got into an argument because he washed my drawers with his crotch rot underwear. So, I slapped him silly when I found out and he got mad and jumped in his car. I'm flipping him the bird while he's driving away staring at me scratching my hooch because just thinking about what he done makes me itch like crazy. When he drove into a fire hydrant and it burst, filling his car with water, I'm laughing my ass off which I shouldn't have done, but it at least made me forget about my itching vagina. ***

Now, mind you, these aren't Tirz's words from her novel, but they are pretty much in character with the voice of Plum though Tirz says it a whole lot better. You might have legitimate grammatical questions from the first "Me and Binny" to the changing tenses throughout, but they all fit with the voice and character even if not quoted directly because the narrator is speaking in a conversational tone to the reader and she is a bit quirky to say the least. That's the way I see this debate about "correct" grammar. Take care. Vern

Hi, Tirz, you are telling the story in first person, but the story has already occurred or you wouldn't be able to tell it; therefore, you "flipped" Binny the bird as you are not in the process of flipping him the bird while you are telling the reader that you did so in the past. Beyond that, if it sounds strange to you, then it is probably "wrong" even if many might think it is technically "correct." I've read a great deal of Plum, but don't as a rule comment on grammar things in a review because I am not the best qualified person to do so and there is also a "voice" the narrator uses which is unique and it would be totally natural for said voice to screw things up now and again.

I would suggest that you finish the book and whatever edits you wish to make before losing any sleep over a grammar situation which appears to be a toss up between reviewers. You and/or a future editor can make that ultimate decision regarding tense and other technical things which might create a difference of opinion among current reviewers. Lord knows Plum has enough to deal with without getting embroiled in a grammar debate, lol. It might be helpful to note that I ran into a similar situation with Root Hog or Die regarding dialect; some love it, others call it a no-no. I finally decided I would keep it with some slight toning down and hopefully let some future publisher/editor decide if it should stay or go. I put that decision in the summary at the beginning but still told readers comments either way were appreciated. Take care. Vern

Of course you can leave comments in the x-line review, I do it all the time; matter of fact just finished one. Just click on the highlighted area and you get another comment box. Take care. Vern

Edited for PS: Others can also leave comments within the review which is a benefit very few use or possibly even know about.