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Oxford comma, Harvard comma, and/or Podunk U comma, is all in the eye of the beholder. Good grief, Charley Brown, use it or don't use it; if there is no right or wrong, let your publisher figure it out if it will use more ink than necessary, and if you self-publish, you can make your own decision. Five cents,,, please. Take care. Vern

I would think using transitional phrase would be akin to using the oft maligned "was". It's not the use, rather the overuse which becomes the problem. Let's face it, we live and talk in a world where the transitional phrase evolved as part of our language. It serves a purpose like everything else, but, of course can also become a crutch like "was" when taken for granted. If the transitional phrase is limited, it will become as invisible as "said" being used as a speaker tag.

There are lots of ways to mix things up to avoid the transitional phrase to limit its use much as rewording sentences to restrict the use of "was" to those times where nothing will do the job as well. As mentioned, dialogue can be a great way to rearrange things, but that too can be rearranged to showcase things differently. For example, Deck's version could perhaps  be changed slightly to more align with your vision:

***

"... solely in the hands of___" The shock wave rocked Joseph on his feet. "What the hell was that," he yelled as prisoners fled from their cells.
He thought he heard "Explosion!" through the wailing siren and ringing in his ears.

***
Or such.

No one way to make everyone happy, just try various alternatives until You are satisfied with the words read aloud. As with anything, a pinch of salt is generally better than a shaker full. And a little pepper may be even better. Just my opinion. Take care. Vern

Oh, jeez, that someone thinks a short story would make a good novel is not an insult unless you are just looking for insults -- no this shouldn't be taken as one either. Every story starts with an idea whether a short story or novel or novella, or just an anecdote and any good idea has the potential to become a short story or a novel depending upon how one wishes to expand upon it. No one forces anyone to turn a good short story into a novel any more than one is forced to turn a good idea into a short story. Writer's choice. But certainly an author would grant a reader to the freedom to compliment the good idea and it's rendition within a short story having the real possibility of a good novel also. Just a differing opinion on the subject. Take care. Vern

You might want to check this post for a possible answer -- or not:
https://www.thenextbigwriter.com/forums … tml#p34441
The Devil made me do it. Take care. Vern

People write for different reasons? Maybe. But it boils down to one thing; they have a passion or at least a strong desire to write for whatever reason. Now, it may be true that passion or desire comes about for different reasons, but the "want" is the only thing which drives one to write. One simply doesn't write if they don't have that passion from where ever it comes. Otherwise, they will not put words to paper unless "forced" to do so by some outside agent such as a teacher or other authority figure or perhaps an attempt to keep from starving so to speak.

Yes, lots of good stories in the Bible and they pretty much all were written because of the passion to write those stories. They most certainly weren't written by God, either personally or dictated. They were written by men who had a passion to preserve their accounts of what they believed. They
wanted others to accept their version of the story and often the different authors presented different versions of basically the same story because their passion had different details which they wanted to espouse.

So, I would say, yes, we may write for different reasons in a sense, but those different reasons are because of different passions or degrees of desire. Just an opinion of course. Take care. Vern

I'm sorry, but there is a poltergeist ensconced within the parameters of the digital-verse where all reviews reside and it -- the poltergeist -- is high on the essence of virtual ink fumes forming a magnetic cloud over its heretofore spirited domain. Here's hoping a good rain will wash it away. Take care. Vern

No, you don't have to start again. You're not starting from scratch. You already have more than one book so choose the one with the most material and then place the chapters from any other book (copy and paste) you wish to be there and arrange the chapters in whatever order you wish. You will have to use points for adding those chapters, but that's a small price to pay for the education. It might be fun, but you don't have to learn everything by trial and error. Most answers are in the forums somewhere for the asking. Take care. Vern

Titles can't be copyrighted. Take care. Vern

Edited for PS: Trademark is a different animal.

That would be correct if you are optimistic enough to continue on that straight line to your destination and not let outside forces knock you off course. Of course everyone may not feel that way. That's what makes the world go round. Makes me wonder who taught those first great writers; I mean the ones who happened to make it before all those how to writing books? Yep, I think inertia would fit in there somewhere within that first draft. Take care. Vern

Hi, GS, welcome to the site. Learning is a two-way street; you'll probably teach us a lot along the way. Take care. Vern

Nothing out of line; if you don't ask, you don't know if it would work or not -- sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. This is a fickle bunch and much depends on the tone of the question, in which case you pass muster in that you're not playing the "poor-little-me" card. I actually read your story yesterday, but didn't have time for a review. Most likely I'll get around to it this weekend, that being Sunday and Monday for me. I will say the sex is certainly not gratuitous, not even close. Good luck. Take care. Vern