Yin Su began paying attention to her husband’s mannerisms.  The way he spoke to her. How he spoke with others. One evening as she placed his bowl of millet porridge in front of him, she said, “I am again with child.” She raised her eyes to look fully at his face and see his reaction.

“Hmmm. That is good. You may once again ask the gods for a man-child.”

Yin Su kept her gaze on his face, meeting his eyes when he looked up at her. They stayed locked in eye contact until he looked down and picked up his bowl to eat. Yin Su continued to stare. Her Husband took a mouthful of porridge and swallowed.

“Tastes good tonight. Did you use different spices?” He looked up again making eye contact.

“No. Same spices as usual. Possibly I cooked the millet longer.” Yin Su held his gaze. Silence for a moment. Yin Su started feeling uncomfortable and lowered her eyes. “I will go check my cooking pot. And I will arrange a new altar to pray for a healthy man-child”

“Hmm. Yes.”

Yin Su hurried out of the room. She peeked into the cooking pot and saw nothing unusual. She scooped out a helping for herself and sat to consume her meal. Conflicting emotions raged through Yin Su. Her husband seemed almost happy to hear there was another child on the way. Yet he had left two children to die. Females. She must have a man-child this time.

There was a spring in Yin Su’s step as she went about her daily chores and prepared a new altar to the gods. She consulted the village women and expanded the number of effigies to different gods. She fashioned a new likeness of Guanyin, told her all of her sorrows, and begged for a man-child. She added an effigy of the powerful Jade Emperor to the altar for his fairness and mercy. Surely they would understand her plight and bestow a man-child.

The rains came. The crops grew. Commerce flowed through Hangu Pass. Her husband seemed happy as he collected tariffs and sent reports to the capital. Yin Su felt the movement of new life within her. She prayed to the gods faithfully each day. She cradled her belly and spoke to her child, telling him all about the world he was going to enter. She readied the herbs to take at appropriate times during his growth in her womb. She would welcome him before the snows melted.

Winter was mild. The gods seemed appeased. Several village women each gave birth to a healthy man-child. As the trees began forming buds, Yin Su felt the first pangs from her son that he was ready to enter the world. Yin Su stood strong as she entered the birthing hut and three village women came to attend. It was a quick birth, an easy birth, a slippery birth. Everything happened as it should. But it was not a man-child.

The village women tried to console Yin Su in her disappointment.

“You are healthy.”

“The child is healthy.”

“Maybe your husband will accept what the gods have given.”

Nothing helped. Yin Su sent the women away to spend some time alone with her daughter. The child took to the breast with relish and slept contentedly. Maybe her Husband could be persuaded.

On the third day the village women returned to help with the ritual baths. Yin Su had already done much of the ceremony. Both she and the child were clean and in fresh clothes. She sent them back to their own homes telling them it was best if she presented the child to her Husband alone. If he accepted the child, then a Third Day celebration could be held with all the community.

She stepped from the birthing hut and stood in front holding the child. Her husband emerged from the main house and came to her. His expression mirrored her disappointment.

“No one is here to celebrate?”

“It is best we know the fate of this child before we present it to the community. I regret that it is not a man-child. It is a happy child. It is a healthy child.”

“It is a child who will marry into another family. It will not comfort me when I am old.”

“The child will amuse you on cold winter nights.”

“It is not enough. I need a man-child to honor me.”

Her Husband’s face was sad rather than angry. Yin Su thought she might be able to persuade him otherwise. They stood facing each other for several minutes. Then her husband turned and went back into the main house. Yin Su returned to the birthing hut.

A few hours later her husband walked into the birthing hut and picked up the child. He headed away from the house and up the mountainside.

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