NJC, is photobucket free to use, or do you have to pay for storage?
2,026 2018-06-07 03:47:01
Re: The Sorcerer's Progress (1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
2,027 2018-06-05 22:20:56
Re: The evil prologue (9 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
That is really good, njc!
2,028 2018-06-05 19:01:30
Re: The evil prologue (9 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Here's my opening line:
“Battle stations!” Vice Admiral Alexis St. James cried from the bridge of the Realm of Stars destroyer, the RSS Almighty.
I'm almost certainly going to self-publish, so I take the editor's comments with a huge grain of salt. He says prologues suck, but it's okay to have flashbacks. Same damn thing in my opinion, just organized differently. The advantage of the prologue is that it comes at the beginning, before the main story starts, and then you're done with the past. Flashbacks require forcing your reader into the past one or more times in the midst of the main story. Both have their uses, but I prefer the former.
2,029 2018-06-05 17:58:04
Topic: The evil prologue (9 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I'm a member of a blog written by an experienced book editor. His list of rules of how NOT to open a story includes:
Prologues suck.
Do not start with a character who is going to die.
I guess I'm not going to use him to edit my story. :-)
What not to do: https://thejohnfox.com/2016/11/how-to-start-a-novel/
What to do: https://thejohnfox.com/2017/03/30-super … h-writers/
2,030 2018-06-04 00:32:28
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Kill me now. Countless hours of boring crime/investigative shows and only four pages of notes to show for it.
2,031 2018-06-03 12:10:51
Re: How to leave a group? (1 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Never mind. I finally found it.
2,032 2018-06-03 12:09:02
Topic: How to leave a group? (1 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Hi. I've maxed out on groups and would like to leave one. Can someone please tell me how to leave a group?
Thanks
Dirk
2,033 2018-06-02 21:09:00
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Well, I'll be damnare! Amazon Canada has finally added video and music to its prime membership. It includes the latest seasons of CSI. I was hoping for the early seasons with the original characters, but it's a start. I have 30 days to cancel, so we'll see what else they've got. No Law & Order or Big Bang Theory, so those are strikes.
2,034 2018-06-02 18:33:18
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
My comma separates two thoughts. My teachers always said (Paraphrased) "toss in a comma if you want the reader to pause, even if there wouldn't normally be a comma".
That said, I would normally strike out that comma in a revision
My teacher always said, "Toss in a comma until Seabrass flags it as an error."
2,035 2018-06-02 13:32:48
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
But then we have this from a grammar website: A DEPENDENT CLAUSE ALSO HAS A SUBJECT AND A VERB, BUT
LACKS INFORMATION NECESSARY TO CONVEY A COMPLETE IDEA.
Note the comma and the word 'but' in the above sentence. The coordinating conjunction 'but' is used with a dependent clause, all preceded by a comma. This usage matches what Kdot did.
2,036 2018-06-02 12:40:08
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I wouldn't place a comma there, no matter what the fughazi stylebooks change. See my lecture over in Premium.
Your lecture was mind-bending. I couldn't follow it. I'll just assume you're correct. Kdot, shame on you for generating so much palace comma intrigue.
2,037 2018-06-02 12:35:31
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I ran this through Grammarly and ProWritingAid, and they had no objections: Tia thought, they might have more, landing areas, closer to, the center, but couldn’t, make any out.
2,038 2018-06-02 04:52:51
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Bzzt! The second clause is dependent, so I'm not used to seeing it written with a comma, regardless of whichever conjunction you use.
2,039 2018-06-02 04:48:52
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
To me, it's the ideal vacation getaway.
2,040 2018-06-02 02:03:35
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Just found Inside the Mind of a Serial Killer on Netflix. The killings take place in Australia. Queen Aussie lives! Just when I had decided to punt her from Galaxy Tales.
2,041 2018-06-01 23:02:53
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Thanks. No Dexter up here either. I'll start with what I've got. Worst case, I can always buy a few DVDs of CSI or Criminal Minds. Surprisingly pricey up here. Obviously, the distributors still make too much off DVDs to bother with streaming. There are similar shows on Netflix, though, so I'll plow my way through them first.
2,042 2018-06-01 21:54:54
Re: Comma before "as if"? (23 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Could somebody parse this, please?
To celebrate his book's arrival on the New York times best seller list Dirk and his twin brother Dallas spent the night drinking and carousing as if they were back in college.
Is it too late to go back to Norm d'Plume?
2,043 2018-06-01 06:06:07
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,472 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Tomorrow I have to begin binge-watching murder/CSI-style shows to get up to speed on writing a compelling supernatural serial killing. Unfortunately, CSI (the series), Criminal Minds, and Law & Order are not available on Netflix in Canada. Found a bunch of stuff that looks promising, though. One revolves around the FBI and another around a new special team assembled in Europe to fight crime across borders in the EU.
If anyone knows of any good serial killer series or films, please let me know.
2,044 2018-06-01 02:55:37
Re: Question About "Strongest Start" Coontest (14 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Sol, are we allowed to edit our posted entries before the contest ends?
Thanks
Dirk
2,045 2018-06-01 00:35:03
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
This week's episode of Gilligan's Island involved quite a few quirks. First, Ginger was cutting the Skipper's hair. He had on one of those capes to keep hair off his clothes. More interesting, though, was that Ginger was wearing a barber's jacket that fit her perfectly. The shit they carried on that boat never ceases to amaze me.
This week was all about oranges. The Skipper was surprised to discover he was so weak he couldn't lift a log that Gilligan could lift with one hand. The professor ran some tests using an island-crafted version of a stethoscope and blood pressure monitor. He eventually diagnoses vitamin C deficiency due to insufficient citrus fruit. Apparently, because the Skipper was the biggest person on the island, he was most affected. Turns out, the bigger you are, the more quickly you're affected. I'll let Amy deal with that one. In what was impeccable timing, Gilligan shows up with the last orange on the island. It's also the first orange seen in the show. As they stand around arguing about who should get it, the sun dries it out until all that remains is the skin and the seeds.
Their solution is to plant the seeds and grow orange trees. They set up two-foot-high torches to keep the seeds warm in the ground. I never knew torches could warm the ground from two feet up. Perhaps they should have relied on the fact that it's 90+ degrees on the island. They made a big show how cold it was at night.
Gilligan stands watch to keep the torches lit. You would think they'd learned after 2+ years that Gilligan should never be on watch. Naturally, he falls asleep and they act out Jack & the Beanstalk in his dream. The beanstalk is actually an orange tree. The Skipper is the giant, and he had crates full of oranges in his castle, along with a goose that lays oranges. In a cute scene, the Skipper chases a "tiny" Gilligan around the stacks of oranges. They used a really young boy dressed as Gilligan, so the Skipper would look much bigger. If I remember correctly, the boy was Bob Denver's (Gilligan's) four or five-year-old son.
Eventually, Gilligan wakes up, the torches had gone out, and the orange seeds were ruined. Shocking! Fortunately, the Professor shows up with a large supply of grapefruits and lemons that he found on the island. Like the oranges, none of these fruits ever appeared on the island outside of that episode. Turns out Gilligan knew about the grapefruits and lemons all along. He just didn't know they were citrus fruits.
A fun episode, actually.
2,046 2018-05-31 21:48:55
Re: Comma before "as if"? (23 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
In this case, the comma is irrelevant as it is a prepositional adjectival phrase that modifies the noun, 'apprehension'
I'm so old, I don't think they had those when I was in school. :-)
Thanks for the info.
Dirk
2,047 2018-05-31 13:57:36
Re: Comma before "as if"? (23 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I reread it in context. You're absolutely right.
Thanks
Dirk
2,048 2018-05-31 13:03:54
Topic: Comma before "as if"? (23 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I've been kicking the tires on Grammarly, and it doesn't like my use of a comma before "as if". Following is the main example I disagree with:
“Did you hear that?” he asked with apprehension, as if he were now the hunted.
Are there cases where a comma before "as if" is appropriate? I find a natural pause in the above example.
Thanks
Dirk
2,049 2018-05-27 04:20:50
Re: A Question About Serial Commas (36 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Waiter: Your choice of entrees this evening are lobster, salmon, hamburger, steak and fried chicken.
You: I'll have the steak and fried chicken.
Waiter: No, you have to choose one.
You: I did. You said steak and fried chicken. That's what I want.
Waiter to Manager: Harry, put a damn comma after steak in the menu!
2,050 2018-05-27 01:47:39
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Fun item. When I rewrite this story as Archangel Syndrome set on the planet Britannia (instead of New Bethlehem), I can use Rule Britannia as the national anthem. :-) New Bethlehem is a conservative Protestant world, which begs the question where the monarchy came from. Britannia will be Anglican with the monarch as head of the Church. It also helps explain why Windsor forms part of the royal family's last name (e.g., Joseph St. James-Windsor). Not sure yet if I'll keep the idea that Joseph is descended from King David (there's a dubious connection between Queen Elizabeth II and David). Technically, Christ is David's successor, although an interim monarchy doesn't appear to bother Anglicans.