How do you protect/open the airway? Is there a medical doohickey that you push into their mouths for that?
EDIT: Found the manual resuscitator online. Since they know he's an epileptic, they'll keep one in his nightstand for emergencies. The nurse brings a syringe with valium, but he's already recovering by the time she arrives. He happens to recover just as Connor is saying a powerful prayer for him. Coincidence?
Thanks, Amy.
I'm wondering if it's necessary to give my minor characters full names (first and last). I have a Father Gregorio Altera who is a main (POV) character, so he naturally gets a full name. However, he interacts with Father Calebrese and Sister Fontana, neither of whom will play a large role, nor will the story include them as POV characters. Should I give each minor character a full name the first time they appear? That has the potential to result in a lot of names, many of which will never be written or spoken about after the first time they appear.
Thoughts?
Thanks
Dirk
Marilyn, I went to site and, when I tried to sign up, it said the site was free to use for 15 days, after which you either have to subscribe monthly or yearly. I couldn't find a free version.
Amy, I have a scene with a boy in an orphanage who is experiencing an epileptic seizure, including convulsions. His form of epilepsy is resistant to medication. Other than hold him down, is there anything else the people around him can do? Also, is there a medication that can be injected into him to reduce the severity of the convulsions (e.g., a tranquilizer)? What would they do for him if he was in a hospital? Once the seizure has passed, is it common to take him to a hospital for further observation?
Thanks
Dirk
Congratulations, Don.
My outline for scene 1 of Saving Connor is done. I had originally planned on three scenes in the first chapter, but that makes it too long for reviewers. I'm debating just splitting all scenes into standalone chapters. That'll force me to come up with more chapter hooks, which is probably a good thing. There will be two interwoven threads running through the story, so it'll probably be similar to my Joseph/Apollo chapters, only I hope they'll be shorter.
Dr. Jorge B. Francis is messing with the spacetime continuum again. Try an Acme keyboard and mouse; they're immune. You can get them shipped from New Bethlehem by Mama's Little Shipping for twenty-two terras.
I'm rereading Dune and discovered that Frank Herbert all-but gives away that Maud'Dib triumphs. In one of the early epigraphs attributed to Princess Irulan, she comments how the Duke's light was dimmed behind his son's glory.
I've often thought that the story would have been better if the reader didn't know the details of the Harkonnen plot and Huey's betrayal before they occurred. All of that could have come out later.
Right now my biggest fear is that I'm not good enough to write because I have read a lot of amazing books and comparing mine to them is pretty pale in my eyes. Is it just me or does anyone ever feel this way?
Welcome, Yumpyyum.
I've been writing the same book on a part-time basis for six years, and just as I was nearing the end, I concluded there is no audience for it, so I'm going to shelve it for a future rewrite. My writing has improved tremendously over the years thanks to thoughtful reviews from others on this site and from critiquing their work in return. Nevertheless, even when I thought I was finished with the first chapter (after six drafts and dozens of reviews), someone came along and suggested numerous ways to improve it. I have several favorite published authors in my genre and I still think my story doesn't stack up compared to them. However, these days, when I reread their work, I do so from the perspective of someone who wants to learn from their writing, rather than just wanting to read a good book.
Key item: don't forget to reply to all reviews. Many site members put in a lot of time reviewing the work of others, and the reply is an important way to thank them for their time. Obviously, if you like their work, critique them, and you might develop a reciprocal relationship between them and you. Naturally, not everyone likes to read every genre, so it may take a little time to find interested reviewers for the long haul as your write and post your work. As already noted, a very small number of people give blunt reviews. Don't let them dissuade you. One of the best reviews I ever receive was from someone who told me to start over (and why). He was right, so I did.
This evening's episode of Gilligan's Island featured an impostor pretending to be Mr. Howell back on Wall Street. He promised that after resuming his position as CEO of Howell Industries he would sell his Amalgamated stock. Upon hearing this on the radio, the real Mr. Howell runs into the lagoon and attempts to swim to Hawaii. Gilligan and the Skipper stop him. Mr. Howell offers one million dollars to whichever castaway can devise a scheme to get him of the island. Gilligan makes a pair of wings and leaps off the top of the hut. It actually works until the Skipper tells him it's impossible, followed by a Wyle E. Coyote-like crash. They settle on a pontoon boat powered by peddling on a bicycle-like contraption from a previous episode. The professor gives Mr. Howell a flare gun and tells him to fire off a flare if he gets in trouble. I should note that they used up the last of their flares in an episode in season one. They push the pontoon boat into the lagoon and it promptly sinks, taking Mr. Howell with it. A hand reaches out of the lagoon and fires the flare gun. Eventually the impostor falls overboard from a yacht and washes up on the island. He knocks out the real Mr. Howell, switches clothes, and pretends to be the real Thurston. After being discovered as the impostor, the fake Howell takes off and swims to Hawaii, where he is rescued. He refuses to say who he is because the police are looking for him for impersonating the real Mr. Howell. This episode begs the question why he never offered a million before now and why they didn't try building a pontoon boat sooner. After all, they've been on the island for two years. I like the choice of Amalgamated for the stock. They previously used Consolidated Acme, also good.
I imagine cobs can't be the best tasting food of all.
You'd be surprised. Just add ketchup.
Andrew is going to have a blast when Joseph can't respond.
Technically, since the ghosts are a manifestation of the mind, they are an optical illusion, and there's really nothing stopping the MC from thinking at it and getting a nonverbal reply. I'll keep that handy in case there are situations that can't be addressed using the other techniques I listed above. This is going to be a huge improvement for representing the ghosts.
I'll have to scan through the chapters to see if there are any places where Joseph or Apollo must use mind speech. There probably are, which sucks because I really want the ghosts to be fully realized beings. Perhaps I can change the conversations so that the ghosts speak through their mouths, but Joseph/Apollo respond by their actions, pretending to think out loud, or actual verbal responses to the ghosts when no one else is listening. I can use accidental verbal responses to cause people around Joseph/Apollo to wonder about their sanity. That's primarily dangerous for Apollo. Joseph is technically free to admit he has Archangel Syndrome. It's a common enough occurrence among the elite and it's not dangerous as long as you ignore the archangels, which Joseph doesn't do. He's convinced the archangel is real.
I have a question about how to represent my ghosts in the next draft. Currently, they are a presence in the mind of Joseph and Apollo, and they "radiate" emotions. The ghosts are not physically visible. I had to do that because God currently appears to both Joseph and Apollo. If He were visible and the two versions of Him looked different, then the reader is likely to assume they are not real. However, if both versions of God look the same, then they almost certainly would be real. But, since I'm replacing God with the archangels Michael and Gabriel in the rewrite, I have the option of making all the ghosts visible as if they were real humans travelling with Joseph and Apollo.
This raises a couple of tricky issues. First, when Andrew or Joseph's mother use Joseph's own hand to smack him upside the head, should they temporarily jump inside Joseph and force his hand to act as described, or should I simply have the visible ghost smack Joseph with the ghost's own hand? I'm leaning toward the latter. In Apollo's case, God currently creates in him strong urges to pee at the worst possible times, and I want to keep that. I'm debating whether Apollo's archangel can simply cause the urge without explicitly "jumping" into Apollo long enough to do it.
A big issue is communication. I can't usually have Joseph and Apollo talk out loud to these ghosts when they're around other people, otherwise they'd both be locked up. So communication would generally remain as thoughts. That then begs the question whether the ghosts use their mouths for anything. Should I have the ghosts actually speak, but make it only audible to Joseph and Apollo?
What about the case when Joseph's mother chews out the Imperial guard for not letting Joseph into the palace to see Apollo? In that case, the ghost would probably have to jump inside Joseph to force those words out of his mouth. The other alternative to jumping inside would be for her to tell Joseph exactly what to say and he stupidly obeys, as already happens in a scene in v3 where Joseph and Paul accidentally board the slaver and Joseph tells the ass next to him, "I don't say sorry to an idiot."
Thoughts?
Dirk
Only six more chapters to edit! I need to buy two bottles of apricot brandy. One to get me through the final six and another to get blitzed after I'm done. I started hiding chapters to avoid any more unintended reviews, although I must admit Stephen Carter's review of the prologue was damn good. He found all kinds of unnecessary words and suboptimal phrases. I incorporated his feedback into the Strongest Start chapters I posted last week.
They're all just variants of a blast cannon, scaled for different purposes. I added the extra characteristic that meganovas can't maneuver quickly, so they are for battle between big ships. Novas are lighter and less powerful, and can fend off star fighters and enemy missiles. Mininovas are theoretically even more maneuverable, but they're generally fixed to flying vehicles.
Light/heavy novas doesn't work well. Unless someone has a better suggestion, I'll go with novas and meganovas (and mininovas for the cars).
I've received feedback that nova and (especially) supernova cannons suggest more powerful weapons than they actually are. Nova cannons are roughly the equivalent of what the Millennium Falcon fires (fast, maneuverable, able to target incoming missiles), and supernova cannons are the equivalent of what a Star Destroyer fires. I also have some flying cars fitted with novas. I'm satisfied with the name nova, but supernova is admittedly over the top. I could simply refer to them as light/heavy novas. They both have to be a form of the same technology for story purposes.
Thoughts?
He's the Professor of our little island.
Maybe I can create a time loop for you. :-)
I published my first three chapters of Galaxy Tales for the Strongest Start competition. It includes minor changes from recent reviews. Not worth rereading, unless you want the points. Although Queen Aussie will not appear as a serial killer in my future draft, I decided to leaver her in the prologue. I like the resulting humor.
Amy, I've included a hint in the Galactipedia entry (chapter two) that Dr. Ess was actually set up by Dr. Jorge Francis, the scholar/historian from the year 7329 AD, who sent the flawed vaccine back in time. I'm not sure yet how I'll use Francis's interference with the past, but it's a key element of book three. Joseph and Apollo will probably travel through time to get there.
Chapter 35, Attack on Apollo, is up. This is a cleaned up version of the same chapter from v2, including edits from all reviewers. Lucilius survives this story in this draft. I plan to kill her off during the initial attack in this chapter when I write v4, allowing Gaia to take over as Apollo's guard, giving her a reason to exist beyond window dressing.
Two edited chapters in one week. Can you tell I'm sick of research for my other story? Only six chapters to go in Galaxy Tales.
Quick, go read!
Dirk
Sol, do you have an estimate of when Strongest Start will occur this year? Also, I'm up to v3 of a book that has never been entered before. Can I enter it in the contest?
Thanks
Dirk
That's the one. He walks along the pipes counting the number of leaks. 100...101...102... He subsequently reconnects the pipes with glue. Meanwhile, Mr. Howell is sitting in his emptied money trunk, using it as a bathtub, waiting for water to start running. It begs the question why Mr. Howell didn't use the bathtub Gilligan built in an earlier episode (I'm watching them in order). Once again, I have to ask, why would anyone bring a toy sailboat and a teddy bear for a three-hour tour.
