All mindspeech in the book between Joseph/Apollo and the various entities in their minds (God, dead relatives, etc.) is done in italics. I rarely use italics for anything else, except for occasional emphasis of a word or two. I tried various ways to do mindspeech when I started in 2012 and italics was easiest to read.
1,976 2018-07-18 23:19:47
Re: Addressing other characters? (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
1,977 2018-07-18 13:41:37
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I agree with you, though. Those require an exclamation mark. My opening chapter, though, had dozens.
1,978 2018-07-18 02:04:55
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Two chapters to go! :-)
1,979 2018-07-18 02:01:29
Re: Addressing other characters? (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Seabrass wrote:
My issue is with 'Joseph pleaded'. Let the dialogue do the pleading. Let the speaker tag just say 'said'.
As for the second line, I might do an action instead: God was silent for a moment. "Her time has come, Joseph. Have faith."
Relying solely on said probably means using an exclamation mark in the dialogue. I got schooled for too many of those recently. I took advantage of the italics of mind speech to eliminate God said, although I like that God was silent for a moment. I'll add that in.
1,980 2018-07-18 01:55:49
Re: Addressing other characters? (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Kdot wrote:
That particular scene has Paul in it, so I'm tempted to say "yes"
I used "" here to avoid confusion, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. The dialogue with God is in italics, using mind speech. I took out the tag. See what you think.
1,981 2018-07-18 01:48:19
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Chapter 39 of v3, Joseph's Sword, is up. It's a cleaned up version of the same chapter from v2. I incorporated reviewer feedback, removed a whole bunch of saids, and cut way back on exclamation marks.
1,982 2018-07-18 00:55:55
Topic: Addressing other characters? (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I have many cases in my book where a character addresses another by name. Below, Joseph addresses God. In the second line, do I need to mention 'God said'? Seems obvious who is responding. Obviously, if someone butted into the conversation at that point, I would need a dialogue tag.
"Help her, Lord," Joseph pleaded.
"Her time has come, Joseph," God said. "Have faith."
Thanks
Dirk
1,983 2018-07-16 19:51:35
Topic: Everything you need to know about Canadians (0 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
1,984 2018-07-16 19:20:25
Re: Groups languish (24 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Dagny, I think you're incorrect for the following three reasons:
1.
2.
3.
1,985 2018-07-15 18:10:13
Re: Groups languish (24 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
We may have to rename the group to "Where did everybody go?"
1,986 2018-07-15 03:07:36
Re: Groups languish (24 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Debbie Green wrote:
Kdot wrote:@Debbie: You don't need those elements to join the group. All genre are welcome
Really? Okay. I'm joining.
The usual format for the thread name is Story Name - User Name, although there are exceptions. The definition of "Story" is up to you (novel, trilogy, series, etc.). I now have two active threads, one per trilogy.
1,987 2018-07-14 21:44:14
Re: Groups languish (24 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
The Medieval/Fantasy Magic group is very active. A bunch of us set up shop there years ago, each with a single thread about our respective WIP. We use the threads for brainstorming, writing questions, additional feedback about a review, and sometimes just for fun. I sometimes encourage new users to create a thread there for their own stories. Some of the threads aren't even about fantasy. At least three are sci-fi. My new thread is for a supernatural thriller. I considered placing it in the Mysteries & Thrillers group, but no one posts there. I tried out the Sci-fi group years ago, but couldn't get much feedback, so I moved to the Medieval group. I'm surprised people don't set up little cliques like ours in other groups. I've found the threads invaluable to my writing.
1,988 2018-07-13 05:40:50
Re: How to avoid repetition when referring to a character in a scene (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thanks, Jeff. I'll check out the links.
1,989 2018-07-13 03:35:00
Re: How to avoid repetition when referring to a character in a scene (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thanks, Jeff. I misunderstood your review.
I'm still interested in the original question, though. Do I use both Joseph's mother and Regent to reduce repetition, or stick with Joseph's mother? Ditto for his father, the Prince Consort. What about Crown Prince instead of Joseph? I do at times refer to Joseph as a teen, which I think is fine. The others I'm not sure about.
1,990 2018-07-13 02:32:25
Topic: How to avoid repetition when referring to a character in a scene (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
One of my reviewers noticed that I make a staggering number of references to one of my characters, Joseph, throughout one of my chapters. It's partly because his father and mother are also in the scene, so there are references to 'Joseph's father' and 'Joseph's mother', adding to the problem. For example,
Joseph's father said, “‘For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.’”
Joseph's father is the Prince Consort to Joseph's mother, the Regent. I could replace some references to Joseph's father with Prince Consort and some references to Joseph's mother with Regent. That would allow me to mix it up a little. However, other reviewers have told me that Joseph wouldn't think of them in those terms (Prince Consort and Regent) and I should stick with calling them his father and mother.
Similarly, I used to replace some references to Joseph with his title, Crown Prince, for the same reason.
Having eliminated all of those, I'm stuck with dozens references to Joseph in one chapter.
How do others handle this?
Thanks
Dirk
1,991 2018-07-11 00:29:04
Topic: Recent list of failed publishers (1 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
1,992 2018-07-11 00:25:55
Topic: Removing a book from Amazon when a publisher goes under (0 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
1,993 2018-07-10 00:07:32
Re: Best book on learning to write well? (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I returned Write Great Fiction - Revision and Self-Editing. It's a good book on writing, but I'm looking for a book on editing. Found one called Self-Editing for Fiction Writers, written by a pair of professional editors. It's in its 2nd edition and highly rated (500 reviews).
1,994 2018-07-09 22:38:10
Re: Best book on learning to write well? (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, all. I finally figured out what type of help I want and found a primer on Amazon called Write Great Fiction - Revision and Self-Editing. Highly rated. I have less than a day to figure out if it's garbage and return it, so I best get cracking.
1,995 2018-07-09 03:34:25
Topic: Best book on learning to write well? (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I'm sure this has been asked before, but I'm looking for one or two great books to help improve my writing. My grammar and punctuation are decent. I'm looking for something at the next level: how to create compelling characters, interesting secondary characters, balance between description and dialogue, compelling dialogue, world building, story pacing, when to show vs tell, etc. I understand that one book won't cover all of these perfectly, but you get the idea.
Suggestions?
Thanks
Dirk
1,996 2018-07-08 22:54:48
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Which of the following is better? Both are for the shoddy tech firm that builds everything in the book.
Rock Solid Systems
Lowest Bidder Systems
1,997 2018-07-08 04:02:14
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
If you produce garbage tech, you need a lofty name.
1,998 2018-07-08 03:08:57
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rock Solid Systems is in the lead.
1,999 2018-07-08 02:43:54
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
njc wrote:
TCME The Company that ...
OCME One Company to ...
One Company to Rule Them All
2,000 2018-07-08 02:13:30
Re: The Galaxy Tales - Dirk B. (1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rock Solid Systems
100% Uptime
