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Yeah, Seabrass does that. It confuses me to see a TNBW chapter number, his book chapter number, and his scene number in the list box. I decided to avoid the book chapter number in favor of a chapter name, at least while I'm writing it. Not sure if the finished book will have chapter titles, since each chapter is about two concurrent stories. Hard to nail down names that cover both stories.

New wrinkle. I probably shouldn't use Italian for some words (e.g., police ranks & organizations) and not for others (e.g., types/ranks of clergy, Catholic Church, St. Peter's Basilica, etc.). And I don't trust Google Translate to give the correct Italian translation for everything I have to name.

Thoughts?

Thank you very much for the links, Bill. I found the first two earlier today, but the third has a more complete sample Letter of Rights than what I found. The letter has to exist in all EU countries (except Denmark). The tricky part is how much is someone told at the time of their arrest, and how are interrogations conducted in Italy? They have a very complex legal system where prosecutors sometimes conduct interrogations, judges sometimes go out and gather evidence, and cases can take years to work their way through the system. Zzzz.

In my case, I intended to have two detectives lead a team that's hunting for a serial killer who may be the Antichrist. One detective is from the Vatican Gendarmerie, which is too small to have the resources (e.g., a CSI team). The other detective is from the Italian police, which has the resources and cooperates with the Vatican in many police matters in real life. Based on everything I read today, I have no idea whether/when to involve a prosecutor and a judge in the mix. Obviously, the Antichrist isn't going to submit to arrest and interrogation, but there are numerous witnesses and potential suspects that I need to include for story purposes.

Since it's a hunt for the Antichrist, I'm now thinking of using a special ops team who are sworn to secrecy to reduce the odds of word getting out that the End Times have arrived, thereby panicking the world and bringing every reporter from around the globe to Rome. I have the option of allowing that team to operate unlike the Italian/Vatican police when it comes to due process. That seems like my best option.

In Google Chrome, you can use x-line mode, then use Chrome's print function to print the whole review. I use it regularly to print reviews that require a lot of changes to my master copy written in MS Word.

Click on the menu on the upper right of your screen, click Reviews to bring up the four Review tabs, and click on Inline Posted. It should be accessible from there.

For those reading my Lord of the Earth book, I'Ve encountered a bit of a dilemma. Originally, my first scene was about Connor at the orphanage performing his first healing miracle (curing epilepsy) as well as comforting Damiano, the new orphan, which is another of Connor's gifts. Since it's supposed to be a thriller (not just for Christian audiences), Rachel suggested a more action-filled opening. The problem I have with it (and Seabrass and John Hamler agree), nobody really cares about Connor yet and it gives away a key scene that was intended to be the climax of Connor's trip to the Holy Land, which is a major element of the story. If I remove the action scene, then the next scene after the healing miracle is an investigation of the first death of a cardinal at the hands of the Antichrist. However, there's nothing gruesome about it since that would turn off a Christian audience. The story continues back and forth between Connor and the Antichrist for several more scenes, at which point there is a (limited) action scene in the form of an exorcism. I haven't written it yet, so I'm not sure how pulse-pounding that scene will be. First and foremost, my target audience is Christians. If I can pick up other readers with an interesting story, so much the better, but they're not my focus. In short, I'm considering reverting back to the epilepsy cure as scene one.

Thoughts?
Dirk

You mean we don't have that? We definitely should.

Thanks, Amy. Don't worry about nits. If you're up to it, I'm more interested in your overall impression. I've been told it's a bit of a slow start for a thriller, which is true. It would be more correct to classify it as a Christian thriller. I wanted the introduction to Connor to come first in the book, since he's the focus of the series. FYI, I'm posting scenes as separate chapters on this site, to make them easier to write/review. There will generally be two scenes per chapter. Scene two will include the first strike by the Antichrist.

Rachel suggested a preview of a later action scene, which I'm beginning to think is an excellent idea. I'm thinking of using the climax of Connor's trip to the Holy Land as the opening moments of the book, without giving too much away. I have to write it first to see if it works.

Writing and posting individual scenes is also less daunting for me. Should give me more time for research in between posts. This book would be impossible without Google and my Catholic forum.

Just when I've been beaten into submission on this site to get rid of most of them, along comes someone who says [censored] to an editor.