Thank ye, kindly.
1,276 2020-01-07 02:56:42
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
1,277 2020-01-07 01:40:16
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Is it just me, or is the bolded sentence incorrect? Specifically, Campagna is the POV character, but the sentence reads to me as if someone else were the POV character. Is it reasonable for the narrator to withhold information from the reader even as the POV character receives it (i.e. the details of the call)? She discloses the information in a paragraph that follows, simultaneously revealing it to her colleagues and the reader.
Inspector Campagna sat in her makeshift office in the basement of her precinct. Her phone rang. “Yes?” She listened intently for a time. “Excellent! We’ll head right over.” She ended the call.
Thoughts?
Thanks
Dirk
1,278 2020-01-07 01:14:59
Topic: Most "active" forums? (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Sol, would it be possible to add an enhancement that shows the most active forums? Given the many groups, there are many forums that aren't used. There's really no good way to quickly find "active" forums. I leave the definition of "active" to your imagination.
Thanks
Dirk
1,279 2020-01-03 18:51:08
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Interesting. Celine Dion is worth $800M. Makes me wish I had stayed in the choir in elementary school.
1,280 2020-01-03 04:15:24
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Couldn't find the von Neuman, but the Symphony of a Thousand is decent. Not my preference for background music while writing, though. Il Divo is awesome, too. I prefer that while driving.
1,281 2020-01-03 01:27:30
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Miles who? I prefer Celine Dion and the Canadian Tenors. Home grown stuff. They're getting rich, I stream them so much.
1,282 2020-01-02 20:33:32
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Ray & Kdot, please ignore the comment at the top of my latest scene (the gravedigger) that the detectives already believe they are hunting the Antichrist. There simply isn't enough setup for that assumption yet (all they have are sightings of someone powerful and a ring). I'll see if I can work more evidence into Act II that causes them to change their minds about whether it's a demon (their working assumption) or the Antichrist. TBD.
1,283 2020-01-01 03:36:18
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Scene 3.4, The Gravedigger, is up.
1,284 2019-12-31 19:21:18
Re: Breaking Time (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
You probably already thought of this, but I usually put something at the top of the scene/chapter (centered) to indicate time jumps. Those also serve as the markers for scene breaks. My first chapter of Galaxy Tales was an extreme case. It fast-forwarded through key childhood experiences of the two kids in the story. I jumped four times in a single chapter, resulting in four scenes. Something like:
AD 4005
Four-year-old Joseph lay in his big-boy bed...
Five Years Later -- AD 4010
Seven-year-old Apollo sat in the game room...
Seven Years Later -- AD 4017
Sixteen-year-old Joseph descended the stairs...
Same Year -- AD 4017
Fourteen-year-old Apollo rode in a four-man swampcraft...
The references to N Years Later meant that the reader didn't have to go back to the beginning of each scene to figure out how much time had elapsed between scenes. Also, the scenes began by giving the age of the POV character of each scene. Finally, giving the exact year allowed me to orient the reader as to the millennium in which the story takes place, especially 4017.
1,285 2019-12-31 07:09:03
Topic: Best way to group scenes into chapters? (1 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
In my current novel, I have two interwoven storylines, back and forth, usually on a scene by scene basis. Each scene is posted here as TNBW chapter to make it easier to review. The scenes are named based on where I think they will fall in the published book (eg, scene 1.1, 1.2, ..., 2.1, 2.2, etc.). Since the storylines are mostly independent, with only occasional overlap, I decided to group the scenes based on chronology. Scenes that are closely spaced in time are grouped together, while larger jumps in time mark the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next. That has resulted in groups of four scenes, with minor exceptions. Unfortunately, my grouping method has hit a wall recently, with no obvious places to break between chapters. I now have up to eight scenes with no major jump in time. If I keep grouping four scenes at a time, I will be forced to split closely related scenes across chapters.
Suggestions?
Thanks
Dirk
1,286 2019-12-31 05:49:26
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Cool. I wrote the draft interrogation of the gravedigger in one day. I'll clean it up and post it sometime Tuesday. Still have to make up names for the new characters and try to verify a few Italian police procedures, assuming I can find any in English. There wasn't much the last time I looked.
1,287 2019-12-29 03:44:41
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Finally started the next chapter, although I still have old stuff to fix. Finding and interrogating the missing gravedigger turns out to be easy. Interrogating Father Coppola may break a few things I already wrote. I have two more scenes left involving Connor in Act I, so the two interrogations will fit nicely in between. I think I have a good cliffhanger for the end of the act.
1,288 2019-12-27 05:40:04
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I'm debating whether the Antichrist should be more hands on in the murders of the cardinals. Currently, the suspicion of the detectives is that they are pursuing a powerful demon who may be taking his orders from the Antichrist, who is a supernatural human. If the Antichrist is hands on, that means he's personally involved in the break in at the orphanage, the killings, the attacks on Connor, and the videos of the dark being. I think there's more tension in hunting the Antichrist directly rather than one of his demons. Also, demons are easy to spot. Throw some holy water on someone and, if they disintegrate, they're a demon. That doesn't apply to the Antichrist since he's human. Makes him harder to track down. The only tricky bit is that humans can't slip under doors like my current demon does, so I would have to fall back on the Antichrist's supernatural nature to make that possible. The other advantage of a hands on Antichrist is that I don't have to waste time linking the demon to him. The clues lead directly to the Antichrist, not his henchman.
1,289 2019-12-26 04:23:54
Re: Marking short stories as read (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, Ann. Good thing I have spreadsheet software. :-)
Merry Christmas.
Dirk
1,290 2019-12-26 01:13:21
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Just watched the premiere of Witcher, a Game of Thrones wannabe. I lost count of the number of people, places, and things named in the first fifteen minutes, and I have only a limited idea of what the episode was about. Moving on...
1,291 2019-12-24 04:43:24
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I use temperature, fog, and demonic sounds in addition to the eyes. Also, in the case of the reverend mother, I added that the room smells of decaying flesh. I can add something to the appearances of the dark being. Nice catch.
Thanks
Dirk
1,292 2019-12-24 03:30:25
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Is it the concept of glowing irises that you object to our the word itself? FYI, Connor has increasingly sparkling blue eyes as his powers grow. I was trying to reserve glowing for red eyes and sparkling for blue, but I'm open to suggestions. I stayed away from yellow because it was used in Star Wars and the Exorcist as signs of evil.
1,293 2019-12-24 02:25:42
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I keep referring to the eyes of evil entities (the demonic being, the possessed nun) as glowing fiery red. It's getting repetitive. There are a small number of other synonyms like blazed, burned, flamed, etc. Mix it up? I'm inclined to do so.
1,294 2019-12-23 03:48:48
Topic: Marking short stories as read (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Sol, I've been reading short stories from a very prolific author and find myself lost trying to keep track of which stories I've read and which ones I haven't based solely on the title. It would be great when looking through the author's postings if it could include some indication (e.g., a checkmark) of which ones I've already read.
Thanks
Dirk
P.S. Merry Christmas.
1,295 2019-12-22 22:14:53
Re: HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Thank you, Marilyn. I'm glad you're on the mend. T'is the season for bronchitis, I guess. A close friend of mine just got home from the hospital for the same reason. Give the horses a few green apples for me once you head back outdoors.
Merry Xmas.
Dirk
1,296 2019-12-22 09:31:27
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
If the demon is not corporeal, then it just appears human, but can't leave anything behind, such as blood, sweat, and semen. It has none of these, so it can't leave them behind. Possessing a human male and then having sex, also leaves nothing of the demon behind, since the semen belongs to the possessed male, hence no demon child.
On the other hand, if the demon is corporeal, it appears fully human, with actual blood, sweat, and semen (with demon DNA), which would result in a half demon child.
1,297 2019-12-22 05:30:29
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
For my audience of two, are there any objections to my making "demons in human form" be entirely corporeal?
I have the exorcist, who is a demon, and I wanted to make his disintegration more interesting by listing the parts as they dissolve, including clothes, skin, muscles, internal organs, bones, and everything in between. I haven't decided yet whether his bodily fluids will dissolve with him, or if they will spill to the floor.
Also, another demon will father a child. I could have the demon possess a human male, who inseminates the mother, but then there wouldn't be a supernatural element to the baby, which I need. I figure if the demon is corporeal, he can produce his own semen. In this case, the demon doesn't want to possess the baby, but rather create a half-demon offspring.
Thoughts?
Dirk
1,298 2019-12-21 02:44:32
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
They have the problem now that they really can't top this in terms of number of ships and Force powers. How do you make other Star Wars movies as "big" as this? I'll probably never see another one since I have no interest in Disney+ either.
1,299 2019-12-21 02:26:41
Re: Savior of the Damned (the Connor series) by Dirk B. (1,461 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Yup, a Sith dagger is in the movie, as shown in one of the trailers. Fortunately, it's not the Dagger of Mortis, which is mystical. The Sith dagger is huge and plays only a limited role in the movie, as I had hoped. Mine is more like a supernatural hunting knife and is central to the climax.
1,300 2019-12-20 22:14:23
Re: HAPPY HOLIDAYS! (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Apparently, Amazon now delivers more of its own packages than Santa. All that's missing is Jeff Bezos in a Santa suit, sitting in an Amazon sleigh, pulled by eight fulfillment workers.