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A possible solution. Demon bodies only last a few years before they begin to disintegrate. Can't use them for long term assignments. The chief exorcist was killed and replaced with a demon clone of himself, grown from his own cells. He was replaced because the AC wanted to prevent the reverend mother from finding Connor and giving him the message from God.

I'd still prefer to make all followers demons, but then I need to think of a less obvious way to detect them than merely sprinkling them with holy water. That would eliminate the added complexity of the AC having both human followers and demons. Admittedly, in Revelation, the AC leads many humans astray, although they're not actual coconspirators.

UF?

Happily, the location of Pontius Pilate's residence while in Jerusalem remains unresolved. That's important because it determines the route that Jesus walked on the way to be crucified. Christians commemorate an east-to-west route, starting at the Antonia Fortress (next to the Temple Mount) and ending at what is now the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. However, many scholars believe it was a west-to-east route, starting at Herod's palace (the opposite side of town) and ending at the church. My money is on the scholars. I don't think Pilate would have stayed in a small barracks when there was a palace nearby. Nevertheless, Connor will set them straight. :-)

Thanks, Max.

Welcome, kl. There are a lot of very competent writers on the site who will gladly help you improve your writing. The site works largely based on reciprocal reviews. If you want to have your work reviewed, you simply do the same for others and most will respond in kind if your story matches their interests. Also, reviewing earns you points with which to post more of your writing. The site's regular reviews are great for high-level feedback, and the inline reviews are excellent for detailed feedback about individual paragraphs, sentences, words, and punctuation. Although I don't write about werewolves and vampires, my story is a Catholic tale of the end times, so there are a few demonic beings lurking about. Check out my book's content summary to see if it might interest you.

See you around the site.
Dirk

I tried searching against received inline reviews and posted inline reviews. The search against received inlines works; the search against posted inlines does not. Haven't tried searching against regular reviews.

Easy peasy. He already knows it's stigmata brought on by exposure to evil deeds. He's been living with it for a long time. His colleagues, including Campana, know too. Needs a few minor tweaks to chapter four (where we first meet him). From then on, it flares whenever he confronts murders, including that of Alessandro. This fits perfectly into the overall story. Much better than a medical condition that doesn't really exist. I still need a reason to show the reader the cross around his neck, though, which plays a role later. Burning or bleeding at the neck would give me the excuse I need for him to open his shirt.

I'm trying to improve on Inspector De Rosa's idiopathic acute systemic inflammation. Originally, he was coughing all the time, which was too annoying. Now he almost never has a flareup, which is too little. It's actually important later in the story, so I'm thinking of making it psychologically/supernaturally induced, with flareups/stigmata whenever he's confronted with grave sin, including the crucifixions of the cardinals. I could have another flareup when Connor and Alessandro are struck by lightning. If I go with stigmata, he'd have to wrap his wrists a lot to hide it/keep from bleeding over everything. The neck wound could be in the shape of the cross to match the one he always wears. The bloody cough would remain unchanged, and I'd add a raw throat. He's going to need a lot of handkerchiefs and uniform shirts. :-)

In real life, a condition called hematohidrosis is thought to be a possible cause of stigmata. Basically, people sweat blood in response to intense emotions. The Bible mentions that Jesus's sweat was like blood while praying in Gethsemane before his arrest. Another possible cause is malignant malaria, which causes bleeding from the hands and feet. St. Francis of Assisi is thought to have suffered from that.

EDIT: Another alternative is to go with full stigmata (hands/wrists, feet, side, and forehead) and get rid of the bleeding neck. I'd keep the bloody cough, though, as I want him to suffer, not just bleed externally.

Yes, those rules are discussed on most grammar sites. However, in the examples I gave, I can't tell if the two examples are equivalent of not. As I noted above, example two is correct and what I intend as the meaning. What then is example one saying, if not the same thing?

It's doable but a royal pain. Probably a day of research, and I won't really know if I got the layout right since I usually have just photos to work with. Also, I took advantage of the outside of Saint Lawrence's Basilica during the shootout with the first demon (eg there really is a small grove of trees for Campana to hide behind).

Hi Maureen. Welcome to the site. I try to perform minor edits as they come in. That way, reviewers see an increasingly polished chapter or short story and don't all give me the same feedback. It allows them to focus on other things besides the most obvious errors. Also, if everyone gave me the same feedback, I would later have to wade through them all, identifying the important suggestions from the duplicates. Admittedly, sometimes the reviews come at me so fast, I don't have time to keep up, although that's rare.

Some suggestions require more substantial reworking of a story, so those I may leave until a future draft. Admittedly, I spend more time than many trying to keep up, which slows down my writing pace, which is glacial at best.

I'm case you're not aware, you can "edit" chapters that you've already posted, which doesn't cost extra points, or you can "publish" newer versions of the same chapter/story by incrementing the version number and posting it using points. I use editing when I just want to update an existing chapter with minor changes, and I republish when the changes are substantial and I want my regular reviewers to rereview it. By republishing, it appears on everyone's home page once more, and they receive points for looking at it again. Simply editing it doesn't put it back on the home page and doesn't pay points if someone were to review it more than once.

Clear as mud? Hope that helps. FYI, this forum is largely unused, so feel free to post all your questions to Premium, where you'll get the most replies.

Dirk