By plot hole within plot hole, I assume you mean the fact that there is no good reason why the Holy Spirit shouldn't know the end date. Even Jesus should know, IMO.
Fortunately, the above plot hole is not mine to close. It's among those questions/mysteries Christians can only speculate about.
My plot hole I can close using the idea I posted in the first "edit" to my previous post. I just have to word it simply enough.
As much as I like the 3rd option, it's a natural question to arise from the second draft, where the 4th (8th?) century manuscript documents a hermit's (future saint's) private revelation (vision).
As I thought about this yesterday, I remembered that Jesus said only the Father knows when the end will come. Granted, Jesus had a dual (limited) nature by then, which could explain why he didn't know when the end would come, but the only way the Holy Spirit wouldn't know is if he chooses not to know or the Father prevents him from knowing. Of course this begs the question why the Holy Spirit shouldn't know the end date.
EDIT: To close the plot hole, I need only have one of the characters think that Satan's demand that the Father not know the outcome before agreeing to the terms of the challenge is similar to how only the Father knows the end date, implying that both Jesus and the Holy Spirit have the ability to not know that information.
EDIT: It also begs the question why Jesus shouldn't know the end date. I'm guessing he can keep a secret. 
Tricky plot hole. For Satan's challenge to make sense for Satan, God shouldn't know the outcome. Otherwise, if God accepts the challenge, then Satan would know his proposed challenge will end badly for him.
The only way I can see dealing with this is for God to agree to "forget" what he knows (e.g., by walling off some of his knowledge from himself). I hate having to add that requirement to the challenge (because it seems overly weird), but I don't see a way around it.
That's hilarious. I feel the author's pain.
I forget how many times I went back and forth between imperial and Imperial in Galaxy Tales/Archangel, but it was too many. I finally settled on lowercase because that's what Star Wars did in its books, but then Jack argued that I should treat it like Canadian. Eventually, I went back to several sources and discovered I had somehow screwed up the earlier research for imperial in Star Wars. They do capitalize it. Not sure how I screwed that up. It became absolutely clear as I toyed with different names to replace Realm. Most of the names fell into the same category as Jack's example, where it definitely required caps.
Oops. I just realized that since Connor has the ability to disguise his appearance supernaturally, then Daddy De Rosa must have it as well. He could have caused all kinds of chaos by committing the murders while disguised as someone else (eg Nnamani, the director general, etc.), who then shows up on security camera footage. Needless to say, I don't plan to go there. It would require radical changes to the story. Besides, De Rosa admitted early on (to his first victim) that he had a flair for the dramatic, and a dark figure who stinks like brimstone, cause the temperature to drop and the lights to dim, etc. is good and spooky.
Ethereal's not the issue. They have to be like the Archangel Phanuel anyway, whom I described as ethereal in v1. However, angels have the ability to make themselves appear solid. If I remember correctly, it was (solid) angels who were threatened sexually in Sodom (or Gomorrah?). Also, a small force of solid angels will participate in the final battle on Megiddo against a horde of Satan's corporeals in book 3.
Angels can appear as either ethereal or solid. Demons lost the latter ability when they were cast out of Heaven, which is why they have to take over dead bodies to be solid, whereas angels don't. One advantage of demons taking over dead bodies, though, is that the dead bodies protect the demons from the effects of holy ground, otherwise they'd never be able to enter a church as they do in my book.
The thing I was asking about is what the demons should look like. Slightly rotting human corpses is what they take over to become corporeals, so I'd like their spirit form to look different: some hideous transformation from beautiful, humanlike angels to some highly corrupted version. A shriveled form and stooped could be two attributes. Red eyes and (ethereal) black bodies might be two more. Something reminiscent of orcs or goblins or gargoyles?
I'd like something that is very easy to describe and easy for the reader to picture. Perhaps they have (spiritual) bodies like bats and faces like black dragonfish. The advantage of batlike bodies is that bats can fly as can demons (they still have wings left over from when they were angels, but they look gross (singed/blackened, holes in them, shriveled)).
I wonder if they should have some fluids oozing off their nude/hairy bodies that drips from the spirit world to the physical world. Imagine a scene where a character feels something drip on their neck and looks up to see a scary-ass demon flying down at them. (Angels make themselves appear clothed, whereas demons, with their hairy, batlike bodies, wouldn't need to.)
Safe for work:
https://www.thoughtco.com/the-worlds-sc … ls-4105205
Stuff like that.
Dirk
I need a name/term by which the Holy Spirit can identify himself back in the 4th century to a hermit he visits at the latter's cave-home. It ought to hint at Holy Spirit without being a dead giveaway. I don't mind if the reader thinks it could be the HS as long as it's not blatantly obvious. For example, he could call himself the Spirit, Helper, Comforter, etc. but those are too obvious. Spirit might do in a pinch (but not "the Spirit"). In German, the term for ghost/spirit is Geist, which could work, although it would be rather odd for the HS to refer to himself by a German word while in the Holy Land. In Latin, it's Spiritus, which is a dead giveaway since Connor always says the Trinitarian formula in Latin (Patris, Filii, et Spiritus Sancti).
In case you're wondering this is for that fake manuscript Satan will write predicting the return of Christ as a boy. Rather than a fake manuscript based on a supposed vision, I'm going to make it a fake manuscript based on a supposed conversation a cave-dwelling Christian hermit has with the Holy Spirit (a visitor to his cave). The hermit documents the conversation and sends it to an old friend, Bishop Augustine (later St. Augustine). The hermit will also be a future saint, although I may have to make one up depending on what I find through research. Augustine sends the document to Rome, which is the last anyone hears of it until the distant future. The document is known to exist by some within the Church, including a few members of the Council of Cardinals, but it's not taken seriously until its predictions begin to come true.
EDIT: If I have Satan visit the hermit in disguise, then Satan wouldn't even have to write the fake manuscript, which requires forging signatures and handwriting, etc. He could leave it up to the hermit to write the document and actually send it to Bishop Augustine. Satan could then work to get Augustine to send the document to Rome so Satan's followers could ensure it is found in distant future.
Suggestions?
Thanks
>>Just when I thought I had evicted all the capitals in general use, now my head's boiling
Ah, the accursed memories of capitalization in Galaxy Tales 1, 2, 3 and Archangel Syndrome 1 & 2. 
Well, at least you're getting more than isolated chapter feedback.
Oh, and I changed boy to girl.
Revised. Much better, IMO.
“He said to tell you, ‘The Father chooses his champions wisely.’”
She shivered as a surge of adrenaline reignited her faith. It spread like a roaring fire, driving the spiritual cold from every corner of her being. The Holy Spirit had returned to her in full force.
The boy’s eyes widened. “Are you alright?”
She smiled. “Yes, thank you.”
“Do you understand the message?”
She nodded. “He was talking about my son.”
The boy shook his head. “No, ma’am. He said he was talking about you.”
So this was God’s answer to her plea for help. No host of angels to aid her. No armor, no shields, no weapons. Because none were needed. For the ultimate reinforcement had just arrived: the Holy Spirit.
Welcome home, ... daughter.
The boy telling her she'll have to do it on her own raises the big question: why? Perhaps the kid should tell her she has to lead the fight for Connor, but that the HS is with her. Obviously, I need better wording for that.
I explicitly mention in the chapter that the boy is younger and smaller than Connor, so, in theory, it can't be him. He can make himself look younger and different, but he can't make himself shorter or smaller in size.
>>She shivered as a bolt of adrenaline reignited the [faith] in her soul. It spread like a roaring fire, driving the cold from every corner of her being. The Holy Spirit had just returned to her in full force.
You don't like my over the top wording? I thought it was crap as soon as I posted it. However, the word faith rather than religion is much better IMO, and the rest is beginning to grow on me. I like the concept of what happens to her there (she reopens spiritually to let the Holy Spirit in).
>>So this was God’s answer to her plea for help. There would be no host of angels to come to her aid. No armor, no shields, no weapons. Because none were needed. For the ultimate reinforcements had just arrived: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
I'll keep most of that, but I'm going to remove the reference to the Father and the Son. And I need to add something about the fact that it's her fight to lead. Like Connor, though, she knows she'll never walk alone again. The HS will be with her from now on. Assuming she doesn't drive him out again.
Kdot, I extended the epilogue with the following (after the ellipsis).
I decided I want each appearance of the Holy Spirit to happen in a way that leaves the characters wondering if they'd been sleeping/unconscious. In Romano's case I may yet take out the demonic Swiss Guards that the HS takes out with fire from his eyes. I'd rather Romano not have such obvious proof that the visit actually happened. Still thinking about it. The changes for Campagna are included below.
George, spoilers ahead for the epilogue I recently added to the first draft of Connor (chapter 46). I suggest reading the epilogue instead of the rest of this post. What follows is included at the end of the epilogue.
The Stranger — no, the Holy Spirit — took a deep breath and let it out slowly, glancing up and down the path along which their bench rested. “Great deeds truly do await him.” He rose, then turned back to Campagna. “It’s nice to speak with you again, Maria. Welcome back.”
His expression radiated pure love. “Welcome home, … daughter.”
Campagna nodded. “Thank you.”
He smiled as he walked away. “See you in church.”
...
Campagna blinked, but as she reopened her eyes, she realized she had nodded off sitting on the bench. She looked around for the Holy Spirit but saw only a boy, smaller and younger than Connor, walking in her direction. Had all that been just a dream?
Father Romano said that when he awoke after being thrown out the window at the Vatican, he had no broken bones, whereas he would have sworn he remembered several break in the fall, which left him unable to move. He had no doubt the Holy Spirit had truly been there and healed him. Of course, the priest had lain in St. Peter’s Square and found the burnt remains of several demonic Swiss Guards near him. Not bad as far as proof went.
The boy approached her bench. “Excuse me, ma’am.”
“Yes?”
“Are you Detective Campagna?”
“Yes.”
He pointed over his shoulder. “I passed an older man on the other side of that hill. He asked me to give you a message.”
“Which is?”
“He said to tell you, ‘The Father chooses his champions wisely.’”
She shivered as a bolt of adrenaline reignited the religion in her soul. It spread like a roaring fire, driving the cold from every corner of her being. The Holy Spirit had just returned to her in full force.
The boy’s eyes widened. “Are you alright?”
She smiled. “Yes, thank you.”
“Do you understand the message?”
She nodded. “He was talking about my son.”
The boy shook his head. “No, ma’am. He said he was talking about you.”
So this was God’s answer to her plea for help. There would be no host of angels to come to her aid. No armor, no shields, no weapons. Because none were needed. For the ultimate reinforcements had just arrived: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Following is a link to an excellent website that, among other things, lists companies that run scams to separate aspiring authors from their money.
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It seems to be in reply to my post right before yours (top of page 48). You quoted my words: not scary enough.
You didn't write that mm post?
I generated a bunch of pictures of demon spirits using an image generator. Most of them look like living skeletons, with frightening-looking "extensions", a mouth full of scary-looking gumless teeth, and a "grumpy" attitude.
Not scary enough. I should use an AI image generator and ask it to draw scary demons.
If I proceeded as intended, then demonic spirits always look like rotting corpses. It's their spirit form I'm referring to here.
When a spirit assumes control of a dead body, it looks like the dead body brought back to life. When it can no longer maintain that dead body (e.g., hit with too many bullets), the spirit takes off and its spirit form still looks like the rotting corpse it will always looked like. Meanwhile, the dead body it abandoned turns into rotting flesh and/or liquified remains.
The fact that I'm having to explain this in detail tells me to find a different look for the demonic spirits.
Question. I finally described what demonic spirits look like, and they do not look like angels, who look like the most stunning of humans (details TBD). Due to the evil tendencies of demonic spirits, their spirit forms have turned nasty looking. They look like rotting (partially decomposed) human corpses with wings. I love that look for them. It's also easy for the reader to visualize.
The conundrum is that demon spirits in the new draft cannot grow bodies from DNA (too hokey). Instead, they can turn dead bodies into zombies. They enter the dead body of someone who hasn't decayed too much, heal minimal signs of decay, absorb whatever knowledge there is in the dead human's brain, and then proceed to use that body as if it were still alive.
If I stick with the current look of demonic spirits, it'll mean they look like rotting humans, and they take over (slightly) rotting humans' bodies in order to function. There's a consistency there, but I wonder if it's a good idea for the spirits to look like their stolen bodies. I need to make sure the reader knows which one I'm talking about at all times.
Among other things, when you shoot a zombie, the closer you get to destroying it, the more its zombie body will decompose in front of your eyes. It's face will melt, and it will eventually dissolve completely if you shoot it often enough to "terminate" the little [censored]. Once terminated, the spirit arises from it, looking very similar to the decomposing body.
There's a lot of duplication there and the potential to confuse the reader, so I'm considering changing the look of their spirit forms, assuming I can figure out another look for the spirits that's as gruesome as a rotting human with wings. I'm leaning toward changing their look to something else.
Thoughts?
Ick. I reread the article. Based on the author's rules, it would be: six expensive (a quality, I guess) large red trucks. No commas needed, but I prefer njc's order.
Interesting. I can't fit expensive into the list based solely on the aforementioned article, even though I know you have the correct order.
Below is a link to a great article on adjective order in English.
https://www.gingersoftware.com/content/ … adjectives
Apparently, the correct order is:
Quantity or number
Quality or opinion
Size
Age
Shape
Color
Proper adjective (often nationality, other place of origin, or material)
Purpose or qualifier
If you get the above in the right order, no commas are required, except if you have two or more from the same category.
In other words, it's not correct to simply drop all commas between adjectives. Nor is it correct to use commas between all adjectives, which is what I've been doing.
There are numerous good examples in the article. Although most come naturally to native English speakers, not all cases are obvious.
Have fun!
Chapter, I messaged Sol (our admin) on your behalf, although he does check the forums too. Also, check your private messages for my detailed response.
Sol, I just created a test account for myself (Dirk B - Test) so I can understand how a basic account works (once my trial expires). The email the site sends out that requires the new member to confirm their email address references the obsolete support@thenextbigwriter.com email address in case the new member needs help with that step.
Also, when I clicked the link to confirm my email address (a different one than from my regular account), Google again intercepted my attempt to get to the site because of the security certificate mismatch - same issue as reported in one of my earlier posts on this page, but this time it's for the signup process, and with the incorrect support email address, anyone who runs into this certificate issue will probably abandon their attempt to sign up since it requires them to override Google's warning to get to a site they don't know.
Sorry to inundate you with these posts.
Dirk
PRIORITY: Very High. This one seems pretty serious when we're trying to sign up new users.
