2,701

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

And let's not forget blushing. I know when I'm blushing, but have been told it's better (more showy) to say "heat rose into his face". Personally, I prefer blushing.

2,702

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Thank you, gents.

2,703

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

I've had several people note that the POV character in my story can't see his eyes go wide, but rather he widens his eyes. I've never seen it written using the latter approach. I tend to think that if you're sufficiently surprised by something, it doesn't require conscious thought to widen one's eyes, hence "his eyes went wide." Thoughts?

Thanks.
Dirk

Back when I was working a particularly complicated technology project, I used to walk up and down Manhattan after work. Every time I had a good idea, I would find at a payphone and leave myself a message. The 21st  century equivalent is a simple voice recorder. They're very small and lightweight and easily fit into a pocket.

You're an amateur when it comes to losing ideas, Charles. :-)  I sometimes forget them even as I scramble to write them down. Sleeping pills will do that.

2,706

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I remember now, I did a detailed spreadsheet only to find out that as long as non-vaccinated women have non-vaccinated babies up to age 40, I couldn't drive the population low enough for the story. It seesaws like crazy, though, for a few decades. So I did an asspull and arbitrarily chose 2B. I'm considering going down to 1B to eliminate any potential G20 resistance to the Imperium.

2,707

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I eliminated the crazy preacher from the Galaxinet article and replaced him with a more rational history that happens to include the British Royal Family as the beginning of New Bethlehem's Monarchy, which still gives me King David as Joseph's ancient ancestor. In the revised version, the planet is founded by conservative Christians primarily from the United States and the United Kingdom.

I forgot about the vaccine, but the population crash from 10B to 2B humans included the assumption that older non-vaccinated adults had more non-vaccinated kids. Had a whole spreadsheet for the calculations.

2,708

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Okay, one more change: Admiral Alexis St. James.
Classy, British, and religious. It's a real, if uncommon, surname (e.g., Susan Saint James).

2,709

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Stuart wins. I like the royal lineage.

2,710

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Qui? Another one I like is Wales.

2,711

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I looked up aristocratic names from England. Slim pickings. The best was Berkshire. Less snooty than Northumberland. I'm still leaning toward Stuart because it was a royal line.

2,712

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Joseph will still be named Joseph Alexander Windsor, so the name doesn't go away. It just switches to the mother and the name of the royal line.
If I went with Admiral Alexis Stuart, then Joseph could be Windsor-Stuart, based on the idea that the Windsor name is always present, and the spouse's last name is tacked on the end.

2,713

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Possible last names:
Connor - a nod to Angel's son (a seriously disturbed teen) in the TV series
Welsh - seems aristocratic
Hunter - suggests strength, which fits the admiral
Northumberland - probably too snooty
Stuart - a dead royal line, but still aristocratic

Preferences?

2,714

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

She's not royalty, so I wouldn't use Mountbatten for her, although it is a good name.

2,715

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Naming question. Joseph, like Queen Elizabeth, is descended from King David. His father's mother is named Admiral Windsor and she is not royalty. The royal line runs through Joseph's mother, the Regent. Since there are few royal families left these days, I was considering making him descended from Queen Elizabeth. That suggests his mother's name should be Windsor, rather than his father's name, assuming one keeps the name of the royal line for 2000 years (unlikely, but what the hell). Technically, it's Elizabeth Windsor-Mountbatten, but it used to be Windsor. I'm leaning toward renaming the admiral to at least avoid any confusion.

Thoughts?

2,716

(354 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Go for lofty. Gives it an epic feel, assuming you want that. How do the four interact/relate? There's no obvious connection.
Typo - lay should be lie in 2nd to last paragraph.

2,717

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

My latest chapter, Shadow of the Antichrist, is up.  This is an all-new chapter. Joseph confides in Elder Amos (almost) everything that's been going on. I've extended Joseph's concern about unleashing a holy war to actually becoming the Antichrist. This is a slower chapter than I usually do, but I felt it was a necessary step for a devout Christian in these circumstances to seek help from his pastor. I kept it mercifully short by my standard. Let me know if you think it should be expanded further.

Quick, go read!

Thanks
Dirk

Technically, if you follow njc's definition, you don't think about where you are, what you're wearing, who's next to you, what building you're in, etc. Nevertheless, I went with thoughts swirling.

Question: can one notice one surroundings while lost in thought? I've got Joseph lost in thought, but am describing his surroundings...

War? They're simply defending their planet from the Imperium.

Nevertheless, I don't plan to name his denomination. I was just trying to decide if I needed a confessional. And if I need to rename Rosary, the palace droid. No to the former, yes to the latter.

There seem to be a lot of different names for a place in a church where Elder Amos and Joseph can go for a chat after services. The vestry is too busy with the choir changing out of their robes. Some churches have a parlor. Others have an attached living area. It's Amazing Grace Cathedral (the grandest church in Eden, where the Royal Family worships), so I'm not sure I want a living area attached to it. Sitting area? A study?

Like you said, I'll make something up.

It's not an area I want to explore right now. My purpose in choosing a Christian denomination for Joseph is primarily one of how to unfold the scene where he confides in Elder Amos everything that's going on inside him. Protestant is the most practical, otherwise I have to get into the Pope/Vatican, which would be a distraction for this book. I can explore the different faith groups if I write a sequel to this book.

I have a loose coalition of different Christian churches led by "elders," to support and minister to the poor. I was hoping to avoid the specifics of any one church being supreme on New Bethlehem. The Royal Family would probably be of the dominant faith, though. I do document that the planet was founded by descendants of the followers of Reverend "Bombast," a televangelist, which I tend to equate with American Protestants or Evangelicals. The common denominator on the planet is that they tend to be conservative Christians, although not necessarily Fundamentalists.

I'm all caught up on Dictates of Faith. Waiting for more. Bzzt!

Also, I finally settled on Warheads Et Cetera, Inc., as the replacement for Acme. Plus a whole bunch of changes from your review, Amy.

Also started reading the Pendragon books by Rebecca Vaughn.

I'm now trying to figure out if Joseph is Catholic or Protestant. He's going to talk with Elder Amos about everything going on in his head, and I'm trying to decide if it should be a confession. If he's Catholic, then where is the Pope in my universe? Still on Imperial Earth? I'll probably make him Protestant to avoid the issue, which means I need to rename the maid droid, Rosary. Minor stuff.

2,724

(3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Welcome, Kay. I left you an inline review. Hope it helps.

2,725

(11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Bill, it happened to me quite a while ago. I think Sol had to eventually fix it for me.