126 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Norm d'Plume wrote:

Woohoo! Chapter one of my book's third draft is up on the site. It's actually v6 of chapter one in the v3 book. I may take the v2 book down soon to avoid confusion.

I decided to include the drag queen AI in this updated chapter, but with a smaller role. Hopefully it works this time.

Ms. JAR (or is it AJR?), the name of the AI is Janette, in your honor. She will reappear in later chapters, although I don't know in what form yet. Serial killer is high on the list of possibilities. I am such an evil bastard.

Quick, go read!
Dirk

In my passport: A. J. R. My nickname is Janet - it's a (not Australian) cultural thing where your parents give you 2-5 names, and then call you something completely different. I'm lucky, I only have 2 "official" names and my nickname.

I'm so reading this now before dinner!

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127 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I've worked this whole weekend (again). I'm never going to catch up! sad But so help me, I'm going to try! smile Sorry I'm quiet, work is just bat shit crazy. I'm really hoping it settles soon.

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128 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,634 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Barbie

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129 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

THANK YOU! I have to admit, I came close to pinging you a message every time I was on the homepage! LOL

Did you sneak in a title change too?

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130 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Happens to me all the time njc! The finding the real mistake after looking in all the hard places!
Hope you sleep well tonight!

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131 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

bimmy wrote:

There. I fixed it for ya'll!

Bimmy

No!!!! LOL This fixes absolutely nothing!!! No way I'm touching that, not even with a long pole. tongue

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132 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

bimmy wrote:

Well...even if you don't review me girls...at least I made you. ...umm...smile.

Lol!

Bimmy

LOL! I think this is how my review is going to go:

Stares at cover.
Reads a paragraph.
Checks if cover is still okay.
Re-read paragraph.
Make 100% sure cover hasn't changed.
Re-read same paragraph.
Stares some more at cover.
Leave a comment: "Sheer brilliance Bimmy!"

big_smile

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133 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(4 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)

Norm d'Plume wrote:

I wonder what the group thinks about the following character description:

He also thought his cadet uniform made him look more attractive to girls. In reality, he didn’t need it. He was slim and handsome, with his mother’s auburn hair and emerald-green eyes.

Generally, the advice I've received in the past is not to "tell" a person's looks, but to weave it into a story, possibly even separating the attributes as you go along so as to roll it out slowly. Personally, if I'm going to read about a character's looks, I'd rather it be done in one place, so I can picture it in my mind and then move on.

What about the above? I think I've set it up well with the first two sentences before a simple "tell". Yes?

Thanks
Dirk

I have no problem with this. It tells us more about his character than his looks while giving us his looks too.

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134 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Dirk, this is why you shouldn't count the number of notes pages!

All the best! Hope you still have some wine left over after celebrating writing THE END.

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135 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

amy s wrote:

I'm thinking he is going to Tesla the grid and drop NYC into the dark ages.

pft, where's the faith?! I think njc can take down the whole eastern seaboard! big_smile

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136 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Black John also worships his steak just before dinner ... Just saying. wink

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137 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Kdot wrote:

I'm telling President Trump you're making a tactical nuclear weapon in there

Hillary is not happy with this, K!!!!

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138 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

amy s wrote:

Consifering the call would come from Canada, I'm sure he would understand and build wall on the other side of the country. The Great Wall of the US.

And then we'll need a Nightwatch and a Daywatch and some White Walkers big_smile

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139 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I thought it was before and after pics, before I realised it's above and below pics! smile It's been a while since I've played with electronics ... almost 30 years. yikes

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140 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

Suin wrote:

I always reciprocate even if it does sometimes take a while

I should post this to my profile post! big_smile

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141 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

bimmy wrote:
Janet (AJ) Reid wrote:

Hey Bimmy

I'm still around! LOL But I'm maxed out at the moment, with life and work I'm not even getting to the reviews I owe never mind taking on new work. BUT ..... I know that you've done a heap of very helpful reviews on my first draft, so I do owe you. All I can promise is to put you on the list, because I agree, apart from enjoying what you're reading/reviewing, it's also helpful to have eyes go over your writing that knows the genre. Not saying I'm an expert, but I've been reading Romance novels most of my life, so I have a few decades worth of material to go by and it should help. So yeah, practice patience while I work through the long list of reviews I owe, but I'll really try to get to you as soon as possible.

And welcome back! You've been missed!

Janet xx

Hey Girl!

I saw you post the other day how busy you were so I didn't even go back to your story thinking you wouldn't even see it. When you're ready I'd love to look at it again!

Bimmy

I only have one work posted at the moment. It still needs a lot of work, but I'm hoping I'm getting there. I'm not planning to post it here for a second round of reviews, so all up to you if you want to jump in again. Well, that way at least you'll find out who's been the bad guy! smile

Things are getting better with spurts of activity that doesn't allow me much time for reviewing or writing, but I've been writing again lately - I just want this draft done already! and should get back into catching up with reviews. One day, I'll be all up to date!!!

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142 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Kdot wrote:

Now, repeat after me: Not all characters have to die dead and savagely!

I whole hearetedly agree.
At least one character should find 1000 ways to die (Marsha)
Some characters should cheat death and get the reader's hopes up only to die anyway. Preferably at some inconvenient time for the remainder of the cast
Some characters (Inga) need to find a fate worse than death
Some characters (K-j-) need to be so amazing even Amy and Black John can worship him

*sigh* I rest my case! big_smile

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143 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

amy s wrote:

I like the reference that you provided to Janet. Good pics.

I was too scared to click on it, but eventually I did! For some or other reason, I'm under the impression what you think is good pics is somewhat different to what I think is good pics and might not be something I can stomach. If it wasn't njc, I'd probably never have clicked on it! LOL

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144 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

You guys really should play less with K! LOL Now, repeat after me: Not all characters have to die dead and savagely! smile Lucky for you lot, I love you all and appreciate all the help to boot! smile

This is actually Matthew bleeding, I should've mentioned that. My bad, sorry. So muscular - you bet! tongue I want him somewhat impaired and able to pretend as if he's not wounded until he moves his arm and gives the whole lie away. Does that make sense? And it goes without saying, he's not allowed to die!!!! So if it's just a muscle that got nicked, it looks like he has about 15 minutes before he needs/gets attention and it would be believable? I'll probably post this chapter over the weekend and then you can let me know if it works or not! But based on the replies so far, I think I'm okay-ish. I'll definitely know once Amy had a good lookover!

Thanks for all the help!!!

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145 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Ammmyyyy!!!! Just a quick question, pretty please (when you have 5 minutes).

Deep cut in the arm, close to the shoulder, but could be anywhere as long as it's on the arm, I'm not too fussed over the exact location. Weapon: sword. Most of the blow was blocked, but still had enough to make a deep incision. How long would it bleed without intervention? And would it be fatal, just reducing ability to walk/talk/stand up kind of thing, or business as usual given an adrenalin rush. And then a-okay once it's bandaged.

I'd be lost without you!

*grrrrrr* You're not helping Hollywood movies!!!!!

Tah!!!!! xx

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146 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Sorry Dirk, I'm good for Romance. Do you have any lurv scenes or thingys happening?! Anywhere?! Please, give me a chance to shine and be helpful!!! smile

Seriously though, I like the idea of contact lenses but without all the bits and pieces and without the contact lenses "talking" - that'd be super weird and hard to get used to, then again, these days youngsters (and not so youngsters) all have super strong thumbs from texting 24-7. Could they have an implant just behind the ear that does all the speaking, receiving and broadcasting?

I don't know. Just thought I'd throw it at you, maybe it makes you think of something useful and clever! smile

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147 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

Just went to add Aidon Ice to my reading list ... so far, A+ for the cover! big_smile

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148 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(25 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

bimmy wrote:

Hey guys!

I'm posting my contemporary romance novel here. Right now it's called Aidon Ice...probably going to change that.

Anyway, as most of my network is mired in scifi or fantasy, and I've been out for a long while, I'd like to gain some romance focused folks. IE...I'm not getting return critiques. LOL! Who has a romance novel they would like me to look at? I'm there!

Bimmy

Hey Bimmy

I'm still around! LOL But I'm maxed out at the moment, with life and work I'm not even getting to the reviews I owe never mind taking on new work. BUT ..... I know that you've done a heap of very helpful reviews on my first draft, so I do owe you. All I can promise is to put you on the list, because I agree, apart from enjoying what you're reading/reviewing, it's also helpful to have eyes go over your writing that knows the genre. Not saying I'm an expert, but I've been reading Romance novels most of my life, so I have a few decades worth of material to go by and it should help. So yeah, practice patience while I work through the long list of reviews I owe, but I'll really try to get to you as soon as possible.

And welcome back! You've been missed!

Janet xx

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149 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(59 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

rach_elle wrote:

Hi all!  I was an active member several years ago, but for many reasons moved to different forms of critique.  Now I'm back and excited to start getting to know everyone again.

I write romance in various genres.  My two self-published books are contemporary romance and romantic fantasy, and my current WIP is a romantic comedy.  I'll start posting in a week or two, once I've had time to get re-acclimated to the site and get some reading/reviewing done.

Welcome back! The site changed just a little bit. Okay, a lot, but once you're used to it, you won't be able to remember what the old site was like! smile

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150 Reply by Janet (AJ) Reid

(213 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

amy s wrote:

Have him go down from her attack but grab a foot or something. She goes down to and then its a wrestling match with her vulnerable and at risk.

I'm also considering her cloak even, bringing her down hard. But in short, we're thinking in the same lines - no running, more of a one-on-one fight she can't win.

Basically I'm left with two options:

(1) She doesn't go for his groin and make a run for it - everyone thinks how stupid, why didn't she kick him in the groin
(2) She goes for his groin and miss because he's a guy and guys protect that package by instinct more than anything else - everyone thinks how stupid, how exactly did she think she's going to out-wrestle a guy twice her size and why didn't she just run

At the end of the day, I just have to accept it's not going to satisfy everyone because the only guarantee to make that happen is for Catherine to clobber Peter into a pulp and get away. Which isn't going to happen. So the choice now needs to be: not selling Catherine short as much as possible. Which leaves me with option 2 and allowing her to get a few more punches and scratches in. I think at the end of the book, everyone will be happy-ish, they just need to get over this unsatisfying scene!

Thanks for all the help!!!

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