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Okay, I've got a little essay-review up on your last changes.

No.  I mostly quote GKC.
The science of Biography
Is different from Geography.
Geography is about Maps
But Biography is about chaps.

Okay, finding your way about the site.  Parts of this are a little klunky because the new tNBW site was laid out by someone thinking of giving directions and laying out steps, rather than thinking of giving a map for someone to follow.

The key steps are finding a work, finding an author's master page, moving about within a multi-chapter work, reviewing a work, initiating a work/adding to a work, reading and responding to a review.

Easy stuff first: Finding reviews and replies:  Near the top of your home page is a bank of links, including four to reviews and review replies (review/reply, regular/inline).  They say 'New' but the 'view all' link in each line takes you to the list.  (A red indicator circle appears when there's something you haven't yet read.)

(At each of the four master review pages, there are tabs to take you to the others.  They are labelled more clearly than the home page links--a source of confusion!)

The page for each work or chapter has non-inline reviews at the bottom, and links to inline reviews.  The inline review page also has inline review links, on the sidebar.

Reviewing and replying, non-inline (regular): Reading a non-inline review is simple: you click on it and peruse it.  There's a box at the bottom to enter a reply.

Reviewing and replying, inline:Inline reviews are a little nicer to use (though not perfect) and only accessible to Premium members.  (If this site is of any use at all, it's surely worth the Premium fee--my opinion!)

On the inline review page, at the top of the story text there are tabs marked 'inline' and 'x-line'  X-line is for reading and commenting on a review, not for authoring it.  Authoring won't work in x-line format.

To enter a review, you select the text on which you are commenting and a box pops up for your comment text.  The selection part is glitchy.  Part of the may be due to operating systems and browsers, but if you Know How The Web Works, you'll guess that part of it is due to implementation desicions.  'nuff said.  You can't overlap or nest comment areas.

If you move your cursor to the line above the comment text that you've authored, you'll get three icons on the RHS.  One of them is a pencil, allowing you to edit the text.  Edit it and save it.  Don't do a submit or you'll get a secondary comment.

There is a box at the bottom for a closing comment.  (Many of us wish there was a box at the top for an opening comment.)

In inline display format, you see only the markings on the text, not the comments.  You have to click to open each one.  In x-line format, they are all open.

An open comment has a panel to add a comment to the comment.  You can do this on any inline review you can read, reviewing a reviewer if you like.  That includes your own reviews.

Navigating a multi-chapter work:  Near the top and bottom of each chapter web page is a drop-box menu for the chapters.  It appears as a blue bar with the chapter name.  This bar does not appear on review pages.  (Inline reviews have a slim bar near the very bottom that takes you back to the work.  For a multi-page work, it takes you to the first chapter.  (A glitch that may someday be set right.)

Finding a work: New works in various categories appear on your home page.  These are from groups that you're in, including the Premium or Basic group.  There are indicators that show whether they earn you points for review, and whether there is a premium for a little reviewed author/work.

(Review points: In each category you will need to review roughly three words in order to post one. (Assuming the works are posted in a point group.)  (You start out with a point allowance.)  It's good to build up a point balance so you can post without having to worry about earning points right then and there.  Some of us have hundreds of points banked, and it wouldn't surprise me if there were a member with more than a thousand.  But I'd recommend trying to maintain a balance of at twenty-five at a bare minimum, and forty to sixty for comfort.

Points reward reviewers, and keep you reviewing.  Reviewing can teach you as much as being reviewed if you are paying attention to -why- you say things and what does and doesn't work.)

Finding a work, continued: You can get to a work via a link on a review page, or off the author's profile or portfolio page.

Getting to an author's page: Almost everywhere an author's name appears in the page layout, the name is a link to the author's profile page.  The author's other pages are reached by tabs in that page.

A few works may appear on the profile page; a full list appear on the portfolio page.  For a multi-chapter work, the link takes you to the first chapter.

Initiating and adding to/editing a work: In places this is confusing because of the directions/map issue I set out above.  I won't deal with every tricky bit here because you learn better if you click and figure it out yourself.

You create works via your portfolio page.  You can reach this from a drop-menu at the upper-RH corner of most tNBW pages.  (To the left there are drop-menus for groups and finding content to read.)  Toward the right of the page there's a big maroon button for creating new content.  There's also a list of existing works and a drop-menu for each.  In the list's LH column you can drag a portfolio item up or down the list.

When you create a new portfolio item, you click through a set of pages.  When it's time to edit you can jump to any of them.  (Directions versus roadmap.)  Basic Info, Cover, Content (for a multi-chapter work this is where you add chapters as well as edit them), and Publish.  (There may also be a Contests link/button, when contests are run.)

For a work to be visible, you must Publish it.  After publishing you can continue to edit it.  In-line reviews will reflect the state of the content at the time of the review, but reviewers won't get points for a second review unless you republish it as a new version.  When you create a new version, you start with a blank form, so if you want to start with your old version, ^C it to the clipboard before you do the create.

In a multi-chapter work, each chapter has its own version.

Now, what have I missed?

The editing process here brings small-scale issues under examination before large-scale ones.  We'll be talking about your dialog tags and paragraph structure before we have enough to comment on overall story arc.  You'll see also that each of us has particular things we spot in a review.

Doing reviews for people convinces them to come back and review your work, and reading reviews others have done shows you the sorts of things you might look for.

It would be a shame among shames if a few weak chapters kept this story from publication, or from success after it hit the shelves.  It's a better story than many I have read.  You've got all the hard stuff right, and a lot of brilliant moments that are intrinsic to the story.

Wow, you're quick.  There's more to be done, but my next round of comments may have to wait a day.  One observation: You're still beginning the scene with Anver, rather than laying out the root of the dilemma first.  My suggestions weren't the best way, but I think that getting the issue started before you bring Anver in will help keep things moving.  So will a little economy (and reduced duplication) in the big description.  Some of it could be slipped into the action (Anver chased through the entrance hall by Kat).

You've got to near the point of diminishing returns to make this flow.  I'm just beginning to feel the big structure of it, and I hope I'll be able to hit that in my next round of comments.

Peace.  Please?

For my own case, I review stories that I feel I can appreciate properly.  How can I help improve what I don't understand?  That I might have four or five comments per line is not an issue, as several reviewees can attest.

Okay, first review up.  I pound hard and I pound often.  I've hammered from the evening to the morning.

Meanwhile I've got maybe 3,500 words of a book two chapter with Melayne finding a breadcrumb.  Don't know when I'll get to type it up.  I'm sure it needs editing, but I think you'll like it.

I've observed the delay in image changes from one part of the website to another when my regular correspondents make changes.

At a guess, I'd say that the integration of the site components is relatively loose, requiring changes to be propagated at some point by scheduled jobs ... and some are scheduled to run more frequently that others.  In the worst case, there will be two or more such jobs in a path, and they will be scheduled in reverse order, so that at each step the thing to propagate must wait almost a whole cycle--like traffic lights that go red as you reach each one.
But all of this is guesses.

Spanking and pita###etting?

Philo Vance--needs a kick in the pance.