So, my choice of words is insulting and condescending
Yes. Exactly.
and you "telling" other authors they cannot use certain words (your stated practice, not mine) is not insulting or condescending.
I didn't say I told anyone not to use a certain word. I said that we as reviews need to avoid given general advice to other writers without taking that writer's specific work under consideration. I gave three examples of this.
Here:
However, we have to be careful about cutting words that are actually needed. Certain words change the meaning of a sentence, so if you take them out, you can confuse the readers and given an incorrect picture of the events. If a character says to another, "Sit." it is rude, as if he(she) is treating another person like a dog. We do not talk to other people that way. Even if it is prefaced with "Please". "Please sit," is still incorrect. The character speaking would be immediately categorized as a bully (for "sit") or a social ignoramus (for "please sit"). Probably not what we were after. We say "Sit down," to people, even if it is an order, and thus so should our characters.
Here:
Also, one man's cures is another's blessing. He says to take out "then" and replace with "and", yet I have read a lot of novels that are filled to over capacity with "and"s. It would be a disservice to those writers to be advised to remove one of their few "then"s in place of an over used "and".
We have to be very careful about giving advice.
And here:
I have had to tell authors to insert "that" in certain places in sentences in the narration because the meaning was obscured by lack of the "extra" word. In many of these cases the author had originally included the missing "that" but then removed it on advice of another person who was hell bent on cutting "that"s.
A review by definition must involve telling, but what you wrote was not review. It was mockery.
And when you said:
You can't "laugh" conversation.
This does nothing but put an extreme constraint on the human voice.
Had you said:
“laughed” doesn't work as a dialogue tag. Also editors tend to hate it. Take out and replace with something else.
That would be a review. And a very helpful one.
Or had you said:
Your word order is awkward. Rewrite the sentence for better flow.
That would also be a review. A very helpful one.
You would have told me something useful, helpful, with the improvement of my work in mind.
Instead, you call my dialogue “drunk barb”, and when I am offended, further the insult by calling it a “tipsy Shakespeare” and finding it “more amusing than insulting”.
The person mocking is generally amused, while the person being mocked is generally insulted.
Alas it's rather futile to discuss such things with someone so easily offended.
Interesting how people who are making fun of others are often quick to label those they insult as being “easily offended”. My supposed sensitivity does not justify or excuse your rude words.
Verbs to never use as tags:
husked, hissed, breathed, interrupted, gasped, hoped, smiled, chortled, chuckled, laughed, cajoled, moaned, grunted, groaned, sighed
These verbs can be used around the dialogue, if they’re appropriate. Just don’t use them as dialogue tags.***
Not my words, but from an editor's blog.
I have seen many of these lists by editors and critics, all of them slightly different, and most containing “laughed”.
She didn't say anything above about telling other people to remove words from their writing. She said that she is leery of advising people to auto-delete words from their manuscripts, as this often changes the intended meaning. I can't say I disagree with her.
