AJ Reid wrote:
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:
Elisheva Free wrote:

When I know the accent is there, it is easy to read. Without knowing there's an accent, I feel like you've made a strange typo or created a new word. Might just be me, though. smile


-Elisheva

If I state in the narration that the person spoke with a "Pictish accent" would that help?

This will help. And also, and this is open for debate, why not consider only a word here or there as opposed to each and every word? Does this make sense?

It does

But "v" is not that common a letter (at least not in in my dialogue!). If I only did half of the Pictii "z"s, would it be enough to perceive an accent?

I think there are only eight words that have a "v" that the Pictii characters use, live, have, advantage, slave, very, ever, Eva, and I think one other.

amy s wrote:

I find it hard. Maybe because the other words have normal grammar and order. It doesn't read like Mark Twain writing Huck Finn. If there was a word/verb switch or hyphenations, this might be easier

Agh! I hate Huck Finn! sad


I can't change the grammar for Prince Drest who would have learn Brythonic as a child by the best tutors, but I could for Queen Muiredach who was born a commoner and had to learn Latin as an adult. It would read like this:

You are going to Pictland, Pendragon?
Would be:
You go-later to Pictland, Pendragon?

Haz you met a Pictii besides myself?
Would be:
You meet-before Pictii not me?

We are strange ones to you Britannae. Not alike at all. You do not speak /Maetae/ do you?
Would be:
We strange to you Britannae. Not same. You speak not /Maetae/?

You do not speak Pictish.
Would be:
You speak not Pictish.

Is this more clear? To hard to read?

Elisheva Free wrote:

When I know the accent is there, it is easy to read. Without knowing there's an accent, I feel like you've made a strange typo or created a new word. Might just be me, though. smile


-Elisheva

If I state in the narration that the person spoke with a "Pictish accent" would that help?

njc wrote:

Not a problem for me.  You could use both letters together.

Like "lizv" ?

I've had a lot of concern over the Pictii characters speech

The issue is that Pictish did not distinguish between the "v" and "z" sounds. So I started replacing "v"s with "z"s in order to indicate a Pictii accent.

I thought it was unobtrusive as most of the vowels and all of other consonants remained the same, but now it seems to be a reading block for a lot of people.

Here are the most used words:

haz for have

zery for very

ezer for ever

adzantage for advantage

slaze for slave

liz for live

Example:
Queen Muiredach says to Drech, "As ezer. My child is half Pictii. ... And to make matters worse, his mother was a slaze."

Is this hard to understand? Is it annoying? Should I just take it out?

31

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

njc wrote:

On the subject of names, I let Merran and her parents fall out of the naming system.  I should fix it.

Any opinions on Carreth or Carth instead of Caneth.  (I need to get the 'r' in it, so that 'Merran' is derived from both her parent's names.)

I would go with Carreth. It gives off the air of a wise, intellectual, but still fatherly and grounded, (not a snooty type).

"Carth" doesn't seem to fit the father's personality. Too brash, unmannerly, or dirty. Sounds more like his trouble making younger brother. I can defiantly see Merran stuck traveling with her "Uncle Carth" and being annoyed with him, or having to get him out of trouble.

32

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Angelt or Angalt. (Or Engalt.) Opinions?

I think either Angalt or Engalt would work!

33

(16 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

Her sister is making breakfast!

I feel really bad for her sister then... Having to cook for a bridezilla... Not pleasant...

njc wrote:

Worse, 'dinky' sounds almost like 'dinghy'.

Haha! I suppose... I certainly don't want people thinking of a modern vessel...

35

(16 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

Oh! I forgot to mention that the rehearsal is a 9 a.m. the day of the wedding. If we leave the venue, we need to be back by 2:30 for pictures.

Wow.

I know that traditions aren't everything but seriously that makes no sense.

There are always last minute preps that need to be done and people will be more nervous awaiting until just a few hours before the wedding to find out what they are supposed to do.

Well I guess they will save money not having a rehearsal dinner...

36

(16 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

I have heard of a "couple's shower" as being a bridal show but where the groom, his attendants, and other men also attend. I have never been to one, but from what I've seen, it is a big cocktail party where everyone can let loose. Personally, after an engagement party, bachelor and bachelorette parities, and looking forward to the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception, I'm not sure why people need another excuse to play loud music, eat cheep food, and drink too much alcohol. And if the bride's or groom's family or the maid of honor is hosting it, then it is a needless extra strain on wallets that are already having to dish out for everything else. But to each his (or her or their) own.

Please don't let your daughter's-in-law bridezilla (or her mother's momzilla) transformation bother you. Buy that lovely green dress you want to wear. And if you can, take back the tan one. And try really hard not to laugh at the bride's maids' foot wear. smile

Amy:

I'm still at a loss. sad

I guess I'll just worry about each problem word as reviewers point them out. I'm just too confused and frustrated.

The General's comment in chapter nine was:
"That’s some trip to take in those dinky little boats."

AJ Reid wrote:
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:

Nearly all of the words I use have changed meaning.

My nemesis is 'tosspot'. Apparently that isn't a drunkard any more in the UK at present, it now means wanker. sad

Hahahahahahaha! I was thinking of common words like "care"...

Nearly all of the words I use have changed meaning.

amy s wrote:

You made the comment that you don't understand why people care about using the word, 'dinky', in a historical fiction book set in pre-medieval times.

I had the same feelings because I write a character in my books who uses a more modern speech pattern. It is a contrast to the more formal speech used by others on my medieval setting. I did it on purpose, but people would always point out certain phrases that stuck out as too trendy.

All I can say is that another person's work makes the issue glaringly obvious. These words stick out. They just do. And when I have to stop reading and say, "Huh?", then the flow is interrupted. Kinda like hitting a speed bump on a highway.

I suppose I can replace "dinky" with "scanty". What I want it for the General's speech to resemble his personality. He is mocking the enemy, so I want a word that sounds funny (even if it is not actually) and sadly there aren't a lot of words that I feel bring that across.

I guess my real question is, what is the criteria for words being too modern? I suppose that each people has their own ideas on this, but I seem to get a lot of contradictory advice when it comes to what words to avoid.

K. wrote:

This thread has been backed up.
I've ghosted myself out of it

It is up on the other site?

42

(8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Congratulations! Aw! So happy for you! That's bragging rights right there!

43

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Ok! smile

44

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Me!

I owe you for the Beast!

And I still have time before the crazy starts...

45

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

I ascendantly wrote "Love vs lust" in stead of "Love or lust"! Sorry! sad

46

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

I put:
"Love or lust?" Romance
And the thread was in the search results a few pages along.
I put:
"Love or lust?" Romance Inc
And the thread was number one.
Both times I was able to click on the thread even though I was logged out of TNBW, scroll down, and view my own scene from Pendragon V.
I have since deleted my scene from that thread.
If this doesn't bother some people I guess it is fine. But it bothers me, so I'm not leaving my stuff on this forum any more.
I have accidentally gone on sites and forums that were clearly intended for only specific people to see, simply because I had put the same words as appeared in said location. I have since become much better at guessing which sites have what I am actually looking for, but I cannot know what other people will do, either by accident or on purpose.

47

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

Thanks!

48

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

janet reid wrote:
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:

I deleted the scene I posted on the "Love of Lust" thread.

I think the Medieval Fantasy Group forum is no longer visible, so hopefully I won't have too worry about that.

I've never posted on the Free Group, but I'll have to remember that the Premium Group is visible to anyone with internet access.

If anyone can tell me how to delete the "Titles in the Pendragon and the Beast of Caer Baddan" Thread, I would really appreciate it!

I had my identity stolen by a very unintelligent person. It ended up being six months of headache and time wasted. In the end, I got no compensation. And she got no punishment.

I do NOT want someone to steal the work I have put years of my life into.

I feel it is childish to make things easy for a robber. Forum posts about specific novels IS making it easy for them. If you don't want to be a victim, you lock your doors. So why was this forum made without doors?

sad

Is the thread in the Romance group? I can delete it. Let me know!

I'm also busy to copy everything I need - deleting the NS thread will commence shortly.

Just to confirm, given that there are those that feel strongly to keep this group open, and believe me, that is always the first preference, it will remain as an open group. I might consider adding a sticky note to mention this to newcomers.

Thanks for everyone's feedback!

Let me know if anyone has trouble to delete anything - I'll dust off my moderator's hat and start playing with the red buttons! smile

The Thread in the Romance Group. Could you get rid of it, please? I don't want it hanging about. sad

49

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

I got this logged out and putting "Love vs Lust" in google

Poker
They sat on the bed, and Drew opened the new cards, removing the jokers.
Jana touched his hand. "Leave the jokers. If you get a joker, it's an automatic win. Five card stud, no folding."
"Why don't we just get naked?"
"That wouldn't be as much fun. This builds anticipation."
Drew shuffled and dealt. Jana looked at her cards. "I'll bet you have to take off that horribly hot coat."
"Oh, you play differently." He smirked. "Should I go directly for the dress?"
"It's your prerogative."
"In that case, I'll bet you have to let me take off your panties."
"Wait a minute."
"That's my bet."
Jana blushed. Drew's smirk became more devilish. "You're bluffing," he goaded.
She raised an eyebrow. "Read 'em and weep. Two aces."
He grinned. "Your rule. One joker."
"Did you cheat?"
"No. Never." He shook his head and put on a pout. "How could you think such a thing?"
"Liar."
"I swear."
Drew ran his hands up Jana's legs to her panties. She closed her eyes. "Hand check, buster!" she scolded as his fingers brushed her skin. "We haven't got to touching yet."
He laughed and slipped her panties off, dropping them on the floor. "What if we both have a joker?"
"Next highest card."
"What if I get both jokers?"
"You're cheating."
"Mmm. I say if one of us gets both jokers, we move directly to touching."
"All right," she agreed. "My deal."
Jana dealt. "You get the opening bet."
Drew looked at his cards. "You dealt. That dress has to go."
Jana smiled. She opened Drew's fly and slipped her hand inside.
With a slight jump, he asked, "What are you doing?"
"Your rule." She flipped her cards over. "Both jokers."
"No way. I have four aces."
"I don't think you'll need your Viagra." She sat back. "Your deal."
"Did you cheat?" he asked.
Jana smiled a Mona Lisa smile, but said nothing.
Drew exhaled. He shuffled and dealt.
Jana made a face. "I bet both your shoes."
"Must have a bad hand."
"Not necessarily. Those pants can't come off if the shoes are on. It's like chess. I'm planning my next move."
"Okay. That dress has to go."
"No joker?" she teased.
"No, damn it." He turned down the corners of his mouth.
"Show your hand. I have a flush."
"You win. A pair of fives." He kicked his shoes across the room
Jana dealt. Drew huffed. "I'm gonna get rid of that damned dress."
"Not this hand. The pants go."
"I have a pair of jacks." He laid his face cards down with a grin.
"Ah, but the ladies talk louder. Two queens."
"You're cheating!" he accused.
"Whiny baby; sore loser," she retaliated.
He slipped his slacks to the floor before he snatched the cards and dealt. Jana tilted her head back and forth. "You look miserable in that jacket."
"I am. Those petticoats must itch."
Jana laid down her pair of twos.
"Not a damned thing," snarled Drew, throwing the coat across the room to join his shoes.
Jana laughed and dealt. "Joker!" she squealed. "Take off the boxers."
Drew dropped his boxers by the bed. Jana eyed him.
"What?" asked Drew.
"Definitely above average."
"Thank you."
"Did you take the Viagra?"
"No." Drew glanced down. "I don't need it. You're doing a fine job on me."
"Stop pouting and deal."
Drew dealt. "Bet already," he growled.
"Damn! I have to take off the tie."
"The dress; three aces," he gloated
A sly smile crossed Jana's lips as she laid her cards down with exaggerated care, one at a time. "My four little twos beat that." She tipped her chin into her chest and batted her eyelashes coyly.
"Damn it! I should cheat," he grumbled.
Jana pulled the tie off Drew. "My deal," she reminded.
Drew sighed when he looked at his cards. "The dress."
"The pocket watch," she countered.
Drew laid the pocket watch on the nightstand.
He dealt.
"The vest," said Jana.
"The damned dress."
Jana won. The vest hit the floor.
Jana dealt.
Drew rolled his eyes. "The dress. I don't give up."
"The shirt," said Jana.
"Nothing, king high."
"Nothing, but I do have an ace."
"Woman!"
Jana laughed. "Shall I unbutton it?"
"Does that constitute touching?"
"I don't know, counselor. I'll do my best not to touch skin."
Drew's shirt joined the rest of his clothes. He dealt. "Joker! Joker!" taunted Jana. "Off with the socks!"
Drew dropped the socks off the bed. "Very nice," breathed Jana with anticipatory approval.
"Deal," he muttered
"Stop sulking." Jana dealt and screamed. She reached over and fondled Drew.
"Both jokers?" he groaned.
She showed them. Drew reached out and pulled her face to him and kissed her.
Jana pulled back. "You're breaking the rules. I'll allow you one infraction. Deal."
Drew shuffled the cards. "New game," he proposed.
"What?" she asked with skepticism.
"Fifty-two, no, fifty-four card pick up." He threw the cards into the air and pulled Jana to him, falling back as the cards showered them.
He fought with the buttons on the dress. "Oh, turn around," he moaned in frustration.
As Drew unbuttoned the dress, Jana doffed the shoes. Drew slid the dress to the floor. He kissed her neck and caressed her breasts. He rolled her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers.
"Oh," breathed Jana.
He ran his right hand down her side and glided fingers into her.
"Stop, Drew," Jana said in a whisper.
"No," he barely breathed.
"For a minute. Please?"
Drew stopped. Jana opened her case and took out a small pink compact. Drew smiled and nodded. She quickly inserted her diaphragm. Drew kissed her again. "Do you want me to wear a condom, too?" he asked. "I'm clean."
"I know you are. Me, too. I'm scared, but I want to feel you. Don't wear one."
Drew picked up with his fingers. "You're so tight," he murmured.
"It's been a long time."
"Tell me to stop if I hurt you. Like you said, I'm above average."
Drew started into her. "Oh." Jana tensed. She tightened her grip on his shoulders.
"Relax," he coaxed.
"It hurts," she said with a catch in her voice.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
Drew pulled out. His mouth found her breasts before he kissed and nibbled down her torso. Her breath came gasps. His tongue probed her until she groaned. Then, he slid inside her after a couple of thrusts.
"Oh," Jana moaned and dug her nails into Drew's back.
"Okay?"
"Better than okay. Mmm."
They found their rhythm and erupted as Jana bit Drew's shoulder. "Oh, my God!" she mumbled into his flesh. "Oh, my God!"
Drew nibbled her neck and ear. "Amazing. Oh, my God! You felt like a virgin. Did I hurt you?"
"No. It was wonderful. Do it again. It's a tie. We both have royal flushes."
"Low hand wins," he argued. "I'm holding onto the queen of hearts."
She laughed slightly. "Woe is me. I 'Drew' the joker."
Drew laughed in her ear and began a perfect rhythm. He had no need for his prescription

This is a great scene. And anyone an steal it.

50

(26 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)

I deleted the scene I posted on the "Love of Lust" thread.

I think the Medieval Fantasy Group forum is no longer visible, so hopefully I won't have too worry about that.

I've never posted on the Free Group, but I'll have to remember that the Premium Group is visible to anyone with internet access.

If anyone can tell me how to delete the "Titles in the Pendragon and the Beast of Caer Baddan" Thread, I would really appreciate it!

I had my identity stolen by a very unintelligent person. It ended up being six months of headache and time wasted. In the end, I got no compensation. And she got no punishment.

I do NOT want someone to steal the work I have put years of my life into.

I feel it is childish to make things easy for a robber. Forum posts about specific novels IS making it easy for them. If you don't want to be a victim, you lock your doors. So why was this forum made without doors?

sad