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The company name doesn't fit into the tapestry you've woven. It's like that one pesky red thread that sticks out.

I presume it's like my use of the word "Internet" suddenly in VQF. I've contemplated references to some of the other major brands of today, but I'm so far in the future, I can't see any of those companies surviving. My setting experiences (social) entropic loss. This is to say, the broad message is cultures tend to boil down to nothingness over time, barring brief spikes of inserted energy. This is true of the others such as Star Wars where basically tech hasn't much improved in the past thousand years and there seems to be no will to move forward, and Enders Game where it took an alien invasion to get mankind to stir.

Your setting is one of renewal where old things become new again. This is quite unusual in sci-fi (quick: name all the movies/shows in the last 30 years with a greco-roman, mayan/aztec, Prussian, Babylonian, you-name-the-empire cast in space. Done? Off the top of my head, I only came up with Star Gate). As a result of this scarcity, you're going to have to do unusual things like have a company called Acme.

Side note: In VQ, Arkaya Corp is my equivalent of Acme. They made the droids that hunt Andrea down in her chapter one, and run the waste disposal company in Laurie's story. They so this and much more through a vast series of subsidiary companies. I've devoted significant page space to joining all these companies up, but you might want to go that route if you decide against Acme.

As for chapter one, my thoughts of the AI remain the same. I haven't commented that because I don't want to prompt you into an editing spree on a chapter one. Not until you write those other words "the end". I think a good chapter one is finalized after the last chapter is set in stong. The two chapters should reflect each other in theme, style & tone (reflect -- not rival)

Hope this helps

a) IMO You don't have to say 100% time "Hey there's guards"... saying "They walked down the hall" instead of "he walked down the hall" would suffice.
b) Rebecca has had great success in naming 2 of the honourguard such that they can interact with the scene a little. This is great for keeping them valid.
c) I know I couldn't pull this off. You mean there are 4 cannon fodder characters hanging around? They'd be dead within 2 chapters, I promise.
d) He has a knife??

I'm not rooting for him because I've been told it's a sham. I can't say my unbiased opinion becauseI'm tainted

I've been thinking how the story can convince me he's being insincere, and the early comclusions are not promising...

What if they had him hooked up to a lie detector? I'd think the government was "adjusting" the results to ensure his son was murdered.

family/friend testimony? I'd assume extortion / torture.

I think I need Cain to have asserted the fact before it was life & death for anything to convince me otherwise

Ah... I didn't realize he was lying

Glad they're able to treat you so quickly. Waiting times would have sucked.

Interesting problem.

"Police" implies justice system. Hanging traitors (instead of allowing them a trial which they will probably get out on technicalities that Andrew never killed anyone) implies autocracy (or widespread corruption in the justice system).

I think your life will be much simpler if you just ignore police and make everything guards and robots.

-K

You might also consider naming the government if you plan to use it a lot. Just like we can say "The Whitehouse spokesman" irl or "Parliament Hill passed a law"

taken out of context, this section is impossible to decipher. The keyworks are in the OT when they say the Old Covenant (mosaic) is done-for and when the messiah arrives it will be replaced with a new covenant

Hi Norm...

I don't believe your stated goal is possible within this context. I'm going to label a state evil if it practices capital punishment (I consider the OT's practice of stoning evil btw*). Mind you, I'm liberal-leaning. It's not relevant to me that there are dissenting views. The fact that 1 in 10 disagree with the evil doesn't make it good.

You're not going to be able to satisfy right-leaning and left-leaning readers on the nature of evil, so why not just let them make the judgement and go acheive other goals? I suppose my question is why is the asignment of evil important? Did a reviewer ask an unresolvable question?

Hmm... once you're a few books in, you'll get your world established and you'll just churn them out.

Most of what you're experiencing now is uncertainty about the rules of the world. If X has Y property, will it work within the context? Does this concept work? Does this style and character voice work? Once the rules are fixed, and everything is all but immutable, you'll be able to just sit down and write.