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I've been thinking how the story can convince me he's being insincere, and the early comclusions are not promising...

What if they had him hooked up to a lie detector? I'd think the government was "adjusting" the results to ensure his son was murdered.

family/friend testimony? I'd assume extortion / torture.

I think I need Cain to have asserted the fact before it was life & death for anything to convince me otherwise

Ah... I didn't realize he was lying

Glad they're able to treat you so quickly. Waiting times would have sucked.

Interesting problem.

"Police" implies justice system. Hanging traitors (instead of allowing them a trial which they will probably get out on technicalities that Andrew never killed anyone) implies autocracy (or widespread corruption in the justice system).

I think your life will be much simpler if you just ignore police and make everything guards and robots.

-K

You might also consider naming the government if you plan to use it a lot. Just like we can say "The Whitehouse spokesman" irl or "Parliament Hill passed a law"

taken out of context, this section is impossible to decipher. The keyworks are in the OT when they say the Old Covenant (mosaic) is done-for and when the messiah arrives it will be replaced with a new covenant

Hi Norm...

I don't believe your stated goal is possible within this context. I'm going to label a state evil if it practices capital punishment (I consider the OT's practice of stoning evil btw*). Mind you, I'm liberal-leaning. It's not relevant to me that there are dissenting views. The fact that 1 in 10 disagree with the evil doesn't make it good.

You're not going to be able to satisfy right-leaning and left-leaning readers on the nature of evil, so why not just let them make the judgement and go acheive other goals? I suppose my question is why is the asignment of evil important? Did a reviewer ask an unresolvable question?

Hmm... once you're a few books in, you'll get your world established and you'll just churn them out.

Most of what you're experiencing now is uncertainty about the rules of the world. If X has Y property, will it work within the context? Does this concept work? Does this style and character voice work? Once the rules are fixed, and everything is all but immutable, you'll be able to just sit down and write.

Earthwound Saga
Founders series
Cataclysm reborn

Well yeah but with the caveat that it needs more work. Only so much I could do on the bus

I suppose if you're going traditional, the cover is irrelevant as they'll have a department to handle that

bzzt!