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This pernicious 4th wall... when Hamlet looks at us and cries to be or not to be... and proceeds to try to convince us his actions contain some modicum of moral fiber...

it's very powerful
intimate
energetic

Yes... "intimate" because it invites the reader to converse with the character. But some readers will find it jarring because they're kicked out from being the character and forced to become spectators. Your deep immersion readers won't like it when this happens. Your 3rd person readers won't mind.

I have a series where the main character is very much aware she is a character in a story. At times, she flirts directly with the reader, daring the one person who knows her true motivation to condemn her. At times she pretends to only be the character and traipses obediently as the plot would require. This series isn't really a "story"... it's more of an "experience"... and it establishes itself as being in this mode early on.

In your case, my observation is that a chapter 35 is rather late to suddenly bring in such elements. I recommend at least one before chapter 10 and maybe another in the late 20's. Make it so this doesn't stick out but is part of the tapestry.

Re: Eyes go wide

Allow me to take an unusual stance. First, go re-read 10 paragraphs of your favourite chapter of Dune, then insert "...and Paul's eyes went wide".

Why don't we see this?

Essentially, the writer is treading on the story and says "Character X feels surprised".

One rule of story-telling they never tell you in school is "Don't tell the reader how to feel". That's what's happening here, and Herbert never does this. As such, the Dune story means many things to many people, and it's why there'll never be an accurate movie rendered of it (though the original comes reasonably close).

"Don't tell the reader how to feel"
I once had this yelled at me by a published writer many years ago. The particular example was fright. The lines went something like this (and I'm going from memory so bear with me).

Round 1 (basic)

Here, the writer was like "NO! Why is John afraid? Show me the elements of John that demonstrate fear, and let me decide if I'm afraid"

Round 2 (regular)

a. John considers sunlight important (eg, he considers night/darkness as something to avoid). Notice, John need not frown - the fact that he noticed the waning sunlight is sufficient to convey the writer's intent.
b. John regularly passes here, and John associates fences with safety
c. Dogs make John think about death
d. delaying the suspense
e. Telling part (No worries here. I do this all. the. time.) This is on par with eyes widening - the writer is basically pausing the story to give the reader clues on how they should be feeling. After all, an open gate is not relevant if the dog is really friendly.

Round 3 (Approaching Stephen King level)

a. Keeping the danger slightly off-camera

Is John scared? The story never says. To some readers, he's terrified. To other readers he's quite calm and merely trying to avoid getting bitten. We basically invite the reader to insert his own judgements on top of John's actions. This is what Herbert managed to do... and is a kind of ideal goal.

If you manage to reach this third tier, Apollo will seem suave to some readers, and surprised to others. Each reader will assign their favourite attributes to the character. He will be inherently personable because he will embody the ideals of each reader's experiences.

Reader A: Vader is in entreaty. He wants to be recognized as a parent
Reader B: Vader is ashamed that his son is so weak. He's boasting that he's the father to try to get Luke to be better
Reader C: Vader is testing Luke... trying to draw him out to see what he knows.
Reader D: (is in Luke's head) Don't, Luke! It's a trrrraaaap!

now imagine:

Here, "pleading" is a slight POV crawl. As Reader B, I have to stop being the character and imagine the character as perceived by Luke. This bounces me into Luke's head for a split second. I've been forced to head-hop and there was no significant benefit.

Most important fact... what you've written is not a deal breaker. Even if you change nothing, you still have a good story. This is all nuance... and as I've said each time, I want to give each of you everything I know.

oh dear

Ahoy! You done tweaking Dirtier than Dirt? Is it okay for me to proceed on it?

Ouch! I've had that happen where an idea I had got used before I could reach publication.

I was using the term "Synthoid" in VQF's first draft. Then the Aliens movie came out (I'd never seen part one at the time) and I lost that term. I switched to Synth, but that sounded too similar. In this draft I'm using Synthite, but I don't like that either. Basically I feel like I'm kicked off my term.

Slightly related, my concept of hands-free invisible computing (Buck Rogers was using terminals and Star Trek was using chest badges) which was revolutionary in the 80's has basically been stolen by real life. I totally need to release VQ before someone invents time travel and trumps Imager.

wait up. I'm slow.

Seems to originate from new user Nyx whose profile page is littered with code possibly seeking vulnerabilities

I've often wondered why Hollywood hasn't done a Christine remake. Imagine her re-cast as a Dodge Avenger in hot pink coming out to Justin Bieber.

But on a more serious note, there's a lot you could do with that story in the hands of the write director (which, sadly, very few Stephen King movies ever seem to see)

If it's excruciating, why not use general anaesthesia? I can get that for much less than excruciating irl such as having a tooth drilled.

careful... he's Canuck now. "Cooked food" means poutines and beavertails