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I have a high incident rate of female names ending in -a but I don't fight it. Most readers don't spot that

https://blog.bookbaby.com/2020/08/the-r … nfographic

Ha, not really. I'm clocking them over the head with simple causality (A variation of the omnipotence paradox)

Ok in this case, the ugly causality for Builder is that Bev can claim there is a window (She can see out of it... she could exit through it in case of a fire... provided she did not completely exit (say had one arm or leg through it so she could find it again) she can traverse back inside of it... etc).

Bev may hereby claim the window exists; she merely cannot see it. (eg it's a window hidden with magic or science in a way it cannot be perceived from the ground)

Builder may counter argue that no, he did not put a window there, but a window-sized layer of treated mustard.

Bev may counter-claim that the mustard:
a) has no properties of mustard
b) has visual properties of a window
c) has physical properties of a window
Therefore is a window

Builder's mustard is Bev's Window. Both characters are correct. eg: Despite Builder's attempt not to make a window, a window has been created from Bev's point of  view

That was the first book I liked in my original pass through the series.

Yep I suffered through books 1 and 2 to reach a good part. Something I'd never do nowadays haha

You wouldn't write "Vice President Pence" all the time tho. It'd get exhausting. Couldn't shorten it to "president" so you'd probably end up just saying the name and hope the reader knows who he is after one mention

Any special characters such as ampersand in it?

I would tell him gt rid of it too

And get rid of 75 pages of a guy studying sand

You could get away with that in 1980 but nowadays, people are off to facebook the moment they get half-interested where flashing games scream play-me-now-Seymour

Edit: Do continuity hops if you have to. "In this chapter the police have special suits they didn't have before" that way you can measure if it's worth adding to the rewrite later on

What does the story benefit from the change?

Tower Window issue?

From inside you can see out from the fourth floor. From outside you cannot see a fourth floor window?

I have little of use for you... partly as I noted because the details aren't consistent (I realize this is deliberate) and also because I can't fathom the structure.

For example, I tagged that I'm confounded by DeRosa's dwelling on the internal motives of the plainsclothes cop, but I might read something 3 chapters from now that explains the purpose of it. Anything you can do to write to the end will help me give you reviews meaningful to the plot you're building. Otherwise, I'll ask you questions that bury you in rewrites for the next quarter century