Don't mind talking about this at all, because it has to do with analyzing a plot.

JJ was limited by a plot that Lucas dictated. My understanding is that JJ will have the chance to make a fourth movie once the other three are produced…one that will allow him to tell his own story.

Overall, the movie was worth big corn/ full price/ one viewing. (at least to me). I enjoyed the scenery, but re-hashing the same risk/ plot/ space ship combat was wash-rinse-repeat. The sword fighting was nice. The scenes where she scavenges the spaceship was novel and fun. I liked the fact that they showed the new Vader face, and that the Sith is mentally ill as he fights the good/bad urges that  the Force makes him feel. I really liked the explanation of 'I'm so tired of the pain.'  Excellent reasoning for why people turn and become bad.

I loved the stormtrooper's lies as he tried to impress the girl. I loved it when they flew the ship together and then gushed about what a great experience it was.

I don't understand why anyone can activate a lightsaber. I don't like that Leia didn't fall over when the planet nearby died. I don't like that there weren't planetary complications and meteor showers starting on their planet after the planets died. There were a lot of rules that changed, but JJ is now the "Keeper of the Keys" and gets to decide what is cannon and what is the new reality.

I'm just glad that there are Xwings and Y wings duking it out again.

Anyone else want to poke holes in the plot?

Feel free.

902

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I have to google that. Don't make me google...

Dirk, you forced me to guess rather than 'des sing your age. I left a wide margin for error. Your typing voice is youthful. Carter years, hmmm?

I really have no idea. I've never used chains on my tires. They tear up the road, so you can only use them in big snow (best guess is four feet or so) I'm going to read on and see if anyone answered this.

905

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Nope. We're the normal ones. K is the one who goes through the alphabet in order when making new characters. It confuses me, I have to confess. How did he come up with the name, 'Kajo'?  Since the world revolves around, is based upon, and requires Kajo for atoms to function correctly, why is that name starting with a 'K'? 

Maybe it is like Bab F and basing the number count on eleven instead of ten. Maybe he starts his alphabet at K…

Hmmm.

point taken. I either need to eliminate the signs of life around the beach, or I need to have Tazar comment and then have Jaylene teach. That way, the transition is anticipated rather that confusing anyone (Mister Fussy Pants!)

Oh, Janet, I received your Xmas Card. You gave me the gift of books…even better, I have a whole building of books to noodle through to find the PERFECT book. Thanks for making me say, "Awwww!" Enjoy your holidays, American style and make sure you let us know about your favorite experience (and first sledding trip:-)

A

907

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

OK, thoughts for initial three paragraphs. It's yours to use or rip apart as you please. Merry Xmas.

(In italics) I'm late, this tire blew out because it hates me, and I'm wearing a suit. (End italics) Randi sat back on her knees, wiping sweat from her brow. Dust was in her hair, under her nails, and coating the back of her throat. (Italics again) How can this day get any worse?

(This is a stronger first line. The setting and initial problem are clear. Randi is introduced and we have a picture of what she is wearing/ doing.)

(Continue to second para) She hadn't heard a car, so she wasn't expecting help. "Can I give you a hand with that tire?" asked a smooth male voice.  Randi shot her head up, nearly dropping the last lug nut…again.

(Third para) (Describe first impression of Robbie. Ex: A man stood behind her, dressed in skin-tight jeans and a flannel shirt. With his head cocked to the side, a smile lifted the side of his mouth. His eyes were bluer than the cloudless sky behind his head.

(There we go. In three paras, you have a stronger first line. The voice is all Randy. The male lead has been described but not introduced. Risk has been laid out (late for an appointment, a strange man who just appears). An element of attraction has been suggested. Randi is clearly changing the tire, so she is relayed as self-sufficient.

You could add a few lines here or there to add more scene description and sensory data, but this is the bones of what I'm trying to show you.

Is this helpful?

A

908

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'll take a look

909

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Truth. However, I work nights. And people behaved themselves last night. It was bliss.

Oh, I added to the last chapter entitled, "Sanctuary."  You'll be pleased with me, Janet. I got to elaborate on a mar penis.

There are no changes before the place that I ended the previous chapter. I will repub with points at any request. The only reason I haven't is because I might delete the reviews on this chapter and I have to integrate those crits before I risk losing them to a repub.

Merry Xmas. Your wish has come true, Janet. Sheesh. These romance writers. The things I do to please people:-)

911

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I read the whitewash comment. What the heck are you doing up at this hour?

912

(48 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Oh, saw the pics. Thank you!

913

(48 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

There is a scene in the new one with a sand-sled. I thought of you when I saw it.

914

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Thank you.

Not that I have a passport, either, but it's good to be able to know what city I'm going to virtually nuke in one of my books :-)  Learned that one from Dirk.

915

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Speak for yourself, New Jersey.

916

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I'm just going to start making it up. That'll be my revenge, because I get vicious when I've got a vendetta going.

Maybe I'll just use the alphabet that K loves so dearly when naming characters.

Hmmmmm

A: Alberta, Canada
B: Drives a Buick
C: Not a Canadian citizen. He's actually born of parents from Chad, Chile, and China (Note that I've given him three parents on purpose. Somehow, I think that is fitting.
D: He is a dog person and has a pet daschund named, "Doofus." 

Shall I continue? Or does someone else feel like picking on po' little ol' K?

917

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I was going to say, "Don't tell him nothing."  Remember that he is the mysterious K, who lives someplace that MIGHT be Canadian. Pony up, K. What city do you work in?

Inquiring minds want to know.

918

(48 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I think we should make it a requirement for Janet. All Americans have seen Star Wars. If she wants to puddle-jump and play in the snow, then she needs to catch up with the team. At the very least, let your boys see the series. Otherwise, their mental growth will be stunted.

919

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Did I say that Janet is so awesome that she even nitted me on making my poor character more wan and weak after he lost a couple liters of blood? Me...the one who picks on everyone for their choice of injuries?

I missed the awesome part because you were too busy gushing about snow. Oh, forgot to tell you. The appeal is only there on days that you are off work. Other days your line will be, "God, more f***ing snow!

920

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Oh, great point. Forgot about that. Good thing I chose a narrative for her first review. That was a happy accident.

Gotcha!

922

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Oh, I forgot to mention Rebecca Vaughn. She has done more research about her time period than I've read in my lifetime. Her stories are about real people…an intimidating accomplishment when they lives more than 600 years ago. (or is is 800?)

Don't know much about her. She's secretive that way.

Roxy, FYI  I'll take a look at Numb's first chapter for you.

A

923

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I am willing to write the bio of anyone else who asks. Otherwise, feel free to introduce yourself.

I don't know much about Dirk (Norm D'Plume) except that he is a Ricardo Montalban fan, and has joined Facebook so that he can find out details of others yet never reveal anything about himself. He is a history buff so he writes Science Fiction. (Read his stuff - you'll understand) I estimate his age at  somewhere between 17 and 50.

Unlike K (who I think lives in his mother's basement), Dirk seems to be gainfully employed. He spends a lot of time recreating the Roman Empire in space, including money increments, days of the week, etc. If he likes you, you end up in his novel. I got embodied as a quack researcher who nearly wiped out the human race. The resulting mob eviscerated me. Beware helping Dirk. It can be a traumatizing experience.

924

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Whoopee!

Roxy, Meet the bunch. Janet does historical romance. She moved here from Australia this year and has just seen snow for the first time. It's quite an exciting experience for her. Read all of her posts and add exclamation points.

NJC (otherwise known as New Jersey) likes to bury his apartment in books, clean his apartment for fun, and talk about pluperfect tenses. If you ignore the crusty backside, he's quite a nice guy.

Kenny (otherwise known as K or KHip) is a mystery and likes to keep it this way. He says he lives in Canada and doesn't have a passport. He also says that the romantic light of crack pipes is what he sees out his window, so he stays inside mostly. However, his employer pays him half-time to ride the train each morning and evening, ($$$$) so I question this. He is able to critique and write monstrous amounts of reviews. He is also plagued by honesty. Terminally so. Feel free to pick on him. He likes abuse. He's really just a cutie-puppy in disguise.

Elisha is new, lives in Oregon, just moved to a new apartment, and likes to laugh at us. Note that she is within spitting distance of Janet. However, I get to visit Janet first because she owes me dinner.

Ernie(Erndog) haunts this site, but doesn't comment much. He is living 'the life of Riley' in Hawaii. Read his Star Trek book. He got the characters down pat. He is the one who taught me about head hopping. I still do it but I'm soooooo much better than I used to be.

Me? I'm your expert on wounds and hurting your characters because I work as a PA in Trauma Surgery. I refuse to be intimidated by K. I want to grow up to be like New Jersey. I have an autistic son (the source of most of my short stories.)  My book is so large it will never publish. And while I like snow, I do not like cleaning my house (like New Jersey-he is all over that stuff)

925

(56 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Yup. He invited us in. We're like Goldilocks. We mess up the house and steal the pillows.