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Thanks, John. Funny, it hasn't really gotten used much, the way I'd expected after the old site went down

Okay ch 13 is up. It only took me three MONTHS. Let me know what you think, it might be a bit rough still...

How did we end up on my Simisez thread anyway?!

I've been in a writing rut myself, I fear. But I may be getting my mojo working now that I'm getting outdoors again. Something about the wind whipping across the Hudson knocks away the cobwebs.

Still no change in the fuking MS after February's infusion (2d hit). Now I'm in the midst of the next series of 200 cc blood draws (getting my third 40-vial draw in NYC this Friday -- wanna come along for the ride?) for infusion #3 in June.

Hoping to have ch 13 of Genesis up by the end of the week, so Vern doesn't serenade me virtually with a Neil Diamond song... And so you, dear boy, can have it like that:

http://youtu.be/IDC5yOSuCv0

John, I shelved CR. Still not over the thumping I took on it, so I'm hoping Genesis may be The One.

Maybe.

Who knows, it may turn to shit too.

I'll be slugging away at it with another post on the site, in a week or so...then you can tell me without being too mean (like Vern, lol)

Yeah I know exactly what you mean. The reason why Laura Nyro remained a cult fave whose music only became publicly known when the soul was kicked out of it with overproduced glitzy covers. Stony End, famous only because of Barbara Stresand's version. Wedding Bell Blues, polished to saccharine smoothness by the Fifth Dimension. And When I Die, conventionalized by Blood Sweat and Tears. Great singers, to be sure, but sooo commercial. Which is what sells. I know I know!

Okay so I've decided to pull myself outta my whining slump and at least revise the first 25 pp to send to the instructor of the online class. Three weeks late, but I do have a real excuse (stem cell infusion #2 in late Feb followed by some nasty side effects).

Then I truly will put my ass in full swing for more. Genesis has been waiting patiently for me.

Will you read on, or have you given up on me as a burned out aging wench with an attitude?

Well jeez John, it's about fukin time

Playing xbox and getting drunk, and here I thought you'd manned up and become a woman. Guess not...

Me, I've spent from November until now: Iced in snowed in, frozen in, sick, stuck in the house with a broken-down power chair, and just overall bummed. Very little to show for it, nary a new chapter for almost two months.

So we both suck. Whaddaya wanna do about it?

Hmmm. I have an idea:

Ahhh. That explains EVERYTHING, Vern! Hamler must be some kind of stud like I never imagined, omg.

I had a lousy and unproductive winter, how about you? (I'm relieved it's almost over.)

Hey Max,

I am fortunate to be pain free, and my vision is good, so next to what you're dealing with, I'm a pansy.

This is where I'm at: I just had my second stem cell infusion two weeks ago, and I'm hoping maybe this time to see some improvement. So far, I'm still at the same level of mobility dysfunction, sensory impairment in all extremities and certain unfortunate spots (yes, fill in the blanks), muscle weakness, and fine motor impairment which totally fuked my keyboarding and handwriting. But in the grand scheme of crud, this ain't so bad. I see my doc's patient base (only MSers) and a lot of them are way worse than me, even if they can walk. MS has a lot of different manifestations so what I've got ain't so bad by comparison.

For me, the MS progressed rapidly after my DX in 1997, through and during the early/mid 00's, but now it just is what it is. Very tiresome but at least it's stable. Still, I can't accept it, and it truly pisses me off. I keep thinking I'll wake up and be my old self again, but lo and behold, the damn w/c is waiting for me to plop into...

So I am of no help to you, my friend, on the pain and vision fronts. I find most rx's knock me out, or have really miserable side effects, so after sleeping my life away during the first few years the MS was progressing, I decided I didn't want to live like a veg. As a result, I take very few rx's now. Rather unimpressive for an MSer, although I'm on a ton of crap  for the next few weeks because of the last stem cell infusion. Plus I'm dealing with a shitty flu that literally is what I just called it.

My best source of relief is walking, well, powering, along the Hudson with my dog. There's a paved trail that runs alongside the water for a few miles that gives me some peace of mind. The downside is, it's weather-dependent. Which means if the weather sucks, I can't get my 'fix.' This winter, between the Siberian weather, a busted powerchair that kept breaking down, and two rotten flus, I was too down in the dumps even to write much, let alone get a boost of soothing vibes from the river walk.

I've been more or less housebound since late October, when the cold began, until ... today. A heat wave in the 40s, omg. I was outside for over three hours, with my pup, even though the nitwits who are in charge of my village didn't get the  trail plowed. Stuck powering on the entrance roads and unable to get to the river, which might've pulled me more out of the blues. Still, I was glad to be outside instead of seeing four walls and a ceiling.

Since you are in Hawaii (never been there, wish I could!), you've got year-round awesomeness surrounding you.

That's all I've got for you, Max. Best I can tell you is that 'communing' with the water and the mountains and the sky, with my pup beside me (my avatar is of her, obviously not a Pyr lol) -it all works for me. When I'm not able to do that, I'm far more bleak, I'm afraid. And after everything I'm going through with this clinical trial, if there's no improvement, I'm probably going be too fed up and too bummed out to try whatever new stuff might be available. At least for a while. And by then, I'll be hitting my next decade, so I may be too old for anything else. Lost my 40s to this insidious disease, now losing my 50s. Enough already, ya know?

Well. That's the most I've ever written about this shit. Now you see why!! Sorry if I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself - I can only blame the past few months of Artic vortexes (I'm sure there's a proper plural for it, but you know what I mean) and power chair problems for my attitude fail. Apologies - I have no business bitching to you when you're going through such hell...

I do dislike talking about the damn disease, let alone writing about it. It's like allowing it to emerge from the slime where it belongs. Giving it even more time than it's stolen from me every day for the past 18 years.

Anyway. Hang in there, Max. I'm with you - halfway around the globe, but I'm with you. Okay?

The instructor was extremely good, and she packed a lot into her materials. The class was mezzo-mezzo - I get better critiques from TNBW people, e.g., YOU, Linda my dear. Bottom line - it was far too expensive for four weeks, with not enough back and forth. But then again, I'm used to more of a free-for-all mud-wrestling brawl. After all, I'm a Podger.

Speaking of which.... where is my Hodger? John?????