126

(28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

Oh since is the movie thread, and not the music one, here's a perfectly dreadful movie we saw last night on Netflux:

King Arthur, with Clive Owen and Keira Knightly
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0349683/

Reminds me that people get PAID to crank out drivel. What inspiration!!! yikes

127

(28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

Max you are delightfully weird, except when espousing the finer qualities of ... WORMS??!!! Yuck!!!  roll

And here I was, just thinking this was my 'safe' group, with all the contest crazies inundating this site!!

John, I didn't see Fifty Shades, but I'm glad you did, if it got you invited into Wanda's temple. Can't have an unsatiated drummer taking out his frustrations on the beat, right?

We went to the Beacon on Saturday and saw a show of 70s soul groups, to wit, The Delfonics, the Dramatics, Blue Magic, the Stylistics. Philly soul, old school. Those guys have the best moves!

http://youtu.be/F4lSjIl96Sc
http://youtu.be/nHJPb08KI1E
http://youtu.be/TscxLlhMiig
http://youtu.be/u94uEWyHHIg

Got it, thanks so much, Anita!

smile

I know!

(I went to the one last year, too, and it wasn't half as good...)

smile

I forget where it was Denise, but Maas and Bell spoke together. The final talk was by the guy who came up with NaNoWriMo, so if yo were at that one, we crossed paths without realizing it wink

131

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

I figured Alice In Chains would wake you up. wink

Woof, same with me. Kinda depressing, and with a lotta shit on my mind, I haven't been able to write much. So I changed my profile picture on the site to my pup with snow on her snout. That's the full extent of my creativity.

It's like minus a thousand here. Constant sleet, and snow that freezes over so I can't even get out of the house...Typical Feburary in NY. Let me know when it's June, will ya?

I saw Larry David on Broadway last week. Very funny.

And that's all the news I've got, that's fit to print. The rest would make you scream from boredom.

yikes

132

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

It's too damn quiet around here. You'd better have a good excuse, John.
http://youtu.be/wWQwx89gy-I

James Scott Bell's book is really excellent. I went to a Writers Digest conference abiut 2 years ago, where he gave a talk with Donald Maass. His written presentation was as meaty and entertaining as his books are. I've used his revision book extensively, and highly recommend it.

smile

George opened the curtains. It was a bright sunny day without a cloud in the atmosphere. The turquoise blue sky made him think yesterday’s fiasco might have been just a dream.

Edited:
George opened the curtains. With the sun beaming from a turquoise sky, yesterday's fiasco felt like a dream.

Or:
When George opened with curtains, he squinted from the sun. Yesterday's fiasco felt like a dream.

Problems, wordiness, redundancy, boring sentence structure, pacing

Oh my goodness, I responded to this post before reading the actual lesson!

James Scott Bell, Revision and Self Editing
http://www.amazon.com/Revision-Self-Edi … amp;sr=1-6

Strunk and White, Elements of Style
http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-Fo … +and+white

Stephen King, On Writing
http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-Fo … +and+white

137

(13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Great Sol, thanks for your attentiveness to everyone's comments.

Now, can you make the site more iPad friendly? tongue

smile

Done. I deleted the last scene, which is another 500 words...

139

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

Wow, Max! She puts multitasking on a whole 'nother level!!!  big_smile

How are you feeling these days, btw?

140

(28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

I think American Sniper is better than Imitation Game, and both are far better than Unbroken.

Of course, I'm also a Bradley fan, but that doesn't color my opinion (much).

What say you?

141

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

'Black' at 3:47 - just wrenching. No one can do Vedder but Vedder, unless it's YOUR band, right? Yes? I hope he shows!!

142

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

I know I'm right on Wilson Pickett: I googled:  'Did Wilson Pickett ever show up?'

Here's the answer', just what I remember:
Yes, but it was too late. The bar was closed, the band had broken up, and Jimmy was walking home when a limo pulled up next to him. The driver asked where the club was. When Jimmy informs him that it's closed, the driver asks "Mr Pickett" in the back seat what to do. They drive on, and Jimmy keeps walking.

143

(12 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

My typos always suck, what can I say?

C'mon over to NY and smack me upside the head!

wink

Casablanca!

(A) The inciting incident
Ilsa shows up at Rick's bar, natch! Of all the gin joints, sheesh!

(B) The conflict (both external and internal) and what category they belong to (character versus society, character versus self, etc.)
Rick vs. society - he's a loner and doesn't 'stick his neck out for nobody'
Rick vs. himself - he's bitter and cynical because Isla jilted him, and sees no reason to be kind or nice because the world sucks.

(C) An explanation of the tension in a particular scene (why do we feel tension and what techniques does the author or film-maker use to create it?)

The letters of transit scene: Ilsa wants the letters of transit for her husband (Victor) and points a gun at Rick to get them. We know, before she confesses it, that she still loves Rick, we know Rick is beside himself with love for her, yet they both deny how they still feel about each other until later in the scene. Then, when they admit it, Rick says he'll give the letters to Victor and implies that Ilsa will stay behind with Rick. But then, when Isla leaves the bar and Victor shows up, Rick agrees to Vistor's request to use the letters to take Isla away himself and let Victor deal with escaping on his own.

We feel the tension because although everyone is 'fessing up to how they feel? What they say, what they do, and what they secretly plan to do are not symbiotic.

So we can see that Rick is developing a conscience and is increasingly aware that he can't be selfish and bitter by keeping Isla to himself and escaping to the U.S., when Victor is more important to the war effort. We can see that Victor is jealous of Rick while pretending to be noble. We can see that Ilsa despises herself for being more in love with Rick than with her own husband.

So the technique, I think, is to show us one thing but let the truth slip through the cracks, so the viewer knows more than the characters. We see that Isla will sacrifice anything for Victor, even if it's not morally right, while we see that Rick is still amoral, willing to give Victor the letters as long as Ilsa stays with him - except he's not going to make Ilsa be his babe. And we see that Victor, the Noble One, is willing tolet Isla escape with his rival, even though he's jealous as hell.

Hey, it's all okay in the end, because we'll always have Paris!
smile

P.S. Apart from us knowing what the characters don't, but being in on their separate secrets, there is of course the ticking time bomb and very high stakes - Victor needs to escape quickly, the Nazi collaborators are circling, and people are willing to kill to get the letters of transit...

This is a very understanding group!!
smile

146

(11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

Re the last 1.5 minutes: Well shit.

Sol, I agree with Jack and KHipp - Eliminate the free group. Five bucks a month is hardly worth anyone balking over if they're actually serious about workshopping their writing.

And no, I've never been reviewed by a free member.

On a related topic: I've gotten reviews from the drive-bys who are here for contests and need the points, and their reviews are generally as meaningful as their short-term membership...

Thanks, Sol, for doing what you do.
smile

148

(12 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

I think the instructor has really solid writing tips.l I'm still waiting for her crotique, but I suspect she'll be very good. I'll keep you posted on it.

149

(5 replies, posted in Additional Writing Feedback)

I'm way behind as usual CB, please forgive me. I owe you, and I haven't forgotten!
smile

150

(90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)

Ah but Wilson Pickett DOES come - he just comes late! So play for a really really really long time! This is so exciting!!! (Never mind Godot, he's just a fictional metaphor!)

How are you gonna stay loose for the next month? Never mind, I know - you'll be watching the Super Bowl and then hopefully celebrating, in an inebriated state, between this Sunday and Vedder Date. 

Rooting for your Seahawks -- and for you!!! Pound those skins, dormer boy...

wink