I agree with your first and third examples. In the second, I would move the dialogue into a separate paragraph.
I’ve read novels where every dialogue gets a separate paragraph, sometimes without attribution. Can be confusing. I have no problem including the dialogue in the same paragraph of the action as long as the speaker is clear. Being consistent shouldn’t necessarily be the goal, IMO.
I believe Flo was the grandmaster when they were shown. Wherever she is now, she had like a gazillion points, nobody even close. Take care. Vern
Last I heard, Flo was alive and well in Seattle.
Over 4000
Where've you been, buddy?
Impressive, Jack! You should get a gold star by your avatar or something!
Longevity and reviewing over that time span is the key. I think, though Sol might correct me on this, I’ve been a member here since 2008. Twelve years, nine novels workshopped, and tens of hundreds of reviews later, I remain committed to TNBW. I’ve given my reasons for my continued membership here a few times over those years. A site such as this can’t be beat for novel critiques. Whether you self-publish or want to polish before submission to a publisher, you can’t go wrong with letting the knowledgeable folks at TNBW weigh in on your creation.
I've got over 4K.
Way to go, Randall!
Movie theaters were already in trouble before the epidemic. One major chain had declared bankruptcy. I don’t think they’ll recover. Bad for teenagers looking for a reasonable excuse for a date, but probably good for everybody else. Streaming venues are the future. Get yourself a huge TV and create your own theater experience. Don’t have a room large enough? Drive-in theaters are making a comeback!
j p lundstrom wrote:For instance, if you are using a job title as a direct address, it should be capitalized. “Do you think I should start running on a treadmill, Doctor?” https://www.business2community.com/huma … g-01259140
The key is that "Exorcist" is used in direct address to the person. Even though the person is not truly an exorcist, the demon is addressing him as such (direct address), so the title is capitalized.
My dog ate my homework, Teacher.
I'm late because the traffic was terrible, Boss.
I'm too busy to take out the trash, Mom.These are right.
When a title is used as a name, they should be capitalized.
Here's a link that makes it easy to understand https://justpublishingadvice.com/when-d … ily-names/
An excerpt:
When are mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa names?
When you use any of these words or other family titles, take a moment to think if you can replace them with a real name.Hey Mom, can you buy me some chewing gum when you go shopping?
How was your day at work, Dad?
Oh, Grandma called in while you were out.
Grandpa is getting a bit deaf.
MT
The issue isn’t family addresses. Everyone agrees that Mom, Dad, etc. should be capitalized when used in an address. But not when they are referred to generically, as in, “My mom makes the best meatloaf.” But when referring to the mother directly, as in, “You might think you’re a good cook, Dad, but Mom can beat you every time,” Mom gets capitalized.
Nope.
JP is right in one of her examples, but "boss" and "teacher" should not be capitalized. They are not titles. ("Mom" isn't really a title, either, but convention makes it one.) "You neglected to give me the discount, clerk." "You are entitled to a military discount, veteran." The first is a job descriptor, the second is a situation descriptor. Neither are titles. Similarly, Dirk, I still hold to my comment that your "exorcist" should be lower case as it's a job descriptor, not a title.
Hope to have you back soon, Dirk!
Way to go, Bobbie!
John - Maybe, as Dagny suggested, you only have one book in you. You seem obsessed with one book, after all. But right now you have multiple versions of a work with no finality. I think I suggested years ago that you pull the trigger, stop making perfect the enemy of the good, and try to get the damned thing published! Unless you will be satisfied with letting your talent wander endlessly in TNBW.
The pop up window is designed for holding the formatting of word docs and has always worked flawlessly for me. NOT using it, or editing in the TNBW pane is what's caused all the formatting issues
The pop-up window doesn't work for me. I just tried Dirk's remedy, and that didn't work either. Still no paragraph separation or italics.
Jack, what version of Word are you using? I've rarely had problems with Word 2007 and, more recently, Word 2019. For what it's worth, I use CTRL-V to paste my Word content directly into the TNBW text field. If I'm editing an existing chapter, I use CTRL-A, then CTRL-V. I never use the popup window.
Dirk, I use Word 2007 too. But I’ll try your technique of avoiding the pop-up window. There didn’t used to be that window. Thanks!
Back in the day, I had no formatting issues copying from Word and pasting it to TNBW. The last two years, though, there have been no paragraph breaks and no italics when I’ve done this, so it’s a pain in the ass to edit my posted chapter to get those things in. And I often miss some. Interestingly, when I’m done posting, the review copy looks like the MS, but when I look at what the public will see, those problems are there.
Congrats, Randall! Good luck! Will you becoming to the States for the announcement?
Sorry to hear of your loss, JP. It reinforces the need to revise the work on TNBW in addition to the source manuscript, so you’ll have a true copy always available. I had a backup external drive that made me feel secure - until I realized it had become disconnected months ago, probably when I took my desktop to the shop to be fixed!
Marilyn, I wish I could type like that! My father tried to teach me typing when I was a kid, but I couldn't have cared less. So now I use the one-finger method. I've gotten quite adept at it, though. Talk about new tricks! 
I’m reading Turow’s Personal Injuries now. Apparently, he likes to have it both ways. He eschews the apostrophe in goin’, havin’, etc., but still puts the comma in before a sentence-ending “too.” Old school and, apparently trendy, apostrophe avoidance.
Rules change, and they should. Internet and dumpster used to be capitalized, and now often aren’t, but there’s still some who do honor the brands. (There is a transition period!) Foreign phrases used to require italics, but increasingly, they’ve become a part of English usage and are in normal font. I often have to consult the CMOS or the AP Stylebook to see what the latest consensus is. Writing has changed a lot since I learned the “rules” in high school!
Marilyn, I grew up with the double space between sentences, but that’s dead, dear, and I’m living with that just fine.
Way to go, Randall!
Congratulations, Marilyn!
Good luck, Randy!
Done!
Aw, thank you so much, Lynn! I think you'll be the first. You're a sweetheart!
