I'm not sure why meetings should be treated different from any other scene; you don't need a separate set of guidelines for each type of scene whether a family gathering, a car chase, a romantic dinner, an alien abduction, or whatever. You cover enough to paint the picture and let the reader fill in the rest. You don't have to cover every speaker or every word of those who do speak and you don't have to show all the actions and reactions. You only need to present what is necessary to move the story to the next stage. That's the way I see it anyway. Take care. Vern
1,177 2015-10-25 20:44:27
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
In the wake of the "stimulating" discussion we've had in this thread, I ran across and post this list (not complete by any means) of fairly famous authors who wrote while...at least, less than sober. Probably not too shabby company to keep as writers go if one is so inclined. A similar list could be made for other drugs. Well I found it interesting anyway. Take care
1,178 2015-10-25 15:50:05
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Rabbit hole? I don't know; you tell me. I certainly respect and most times follow your advice. Take care. Vern
You're down the rabbit hole, friend.
If so, I will try not to dig it any deeper. Thanks for responding. Take care. Vern
1,179 2015-10-25 15:34:53
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:“Don’t tickle me!” she giggled.
You can’t giggle spoken words. You can’t laugh them or sigh them or smile them, either. (I dare you to try it. If it works for you, write me and let me know. We could be on to something.) ***
Sounds like something I might say; oh, I did. lol. Take care. Vern
Lateral thinking in literature? But surely this is creative writing and the formal, the factual step aside to allow the creation of a sensation.
We cannot always expect to find the literal within literary. When was the last time somebody actually jumped out of their skin due to sudden fright?
“Don’t tickle me!” she giggled. Is a beautiful thing in my opinion because I actually feel it invoke the imagery of her laughing whilst being playfully teased. It transposes the words into a sensory experience within this readers mind. The mirth is there; the ‘ Brer rabbit don’t’ chase me’ reverse phycology is in there and for me she may well have said this with her eyes rather than her mouth. I don't care and I don't think of it as I read, because within my minds-eye those three words are the concept within a pictured scene rather than dialogue represented by text on a page. Syntax strictly correct, or not.
And that complex little miracle of the mind is condensed within a three word literary phase, the exacting literal explanation of which would burst the balloon and dumb down the prose because it credits the reader with no imagination. If you take the imagination out of prose, you also remove the enchantment.
I don’t like some of the modern works that I read because the enchantment of creative literary prose is lost in order to pander to the readers with lowest imagination in order to ensure that they ‘get it’.
Political correctness-like control within literature, to turn prose into straight talking ‘nothing inferred’ syntax. This is so that publishers can have a computer translate works into foreign languages without the lengthy and expensive process of a subjectively transposed interpretation translation that only an intelligent human mind is capable of.
Burning books, word by word for profit is what they doing.
I think we're pretty much in agreement. I'm not saying you can't use them since I've stated many times that no one can "tell" another how to write anything. What I've said is that the act of laughing or giggling words per se can't be done and therefore are not technically a dialogue tag. We are of course free to use them creatively or otherwise; that has never been questioned. What I have questioned is the assertion that using such creative tags is "standard." We are all free to use anything we wish in our writing; I merely point out that in doing so, we aren't following "standard" procedure and the act which is portrayed such as laughing or giggling words is not something which has been shown to be possible. I am eager to be proven wrong on that count if anyone can point me in the direction of such a sound track. I seem to be having trouble stating my position clearly all of a sudden, so hopefully I have clarified it somewhat. Take care. Vern
PS: Forgot to say that merely capitalizing "she" - She giggled -- to change it to a speaker modifier rather than dialogue tag would not detract from the beauty of the moment imho.
1,180 2015-10-25 03:39:35
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Excerpted from Writers Digest:
***First, dialogue cannot be smiled, laughed, giggled, or sighed. Therefore, this example is incorrect:“Don’t tickle me!” she giggled.
You can’t giggle spoken words. You can’t laugh them or sigh them or smile them, either. (I dare you to try it. If it works for you, write me and let me know. We could be on to something.) ***
Sounds like something I might say; oh, I did. lol. Take care. Vern
I respectfully disagree with WD on this one too. "This whole conversation is exasperating," I sighed. If I say this in a long, drawn-out whisper, that is a sigh.
NO! You cannot smile words or anything that does not have sound attached. That is where I agree completely with you.
What? You haven't seen a ventriloquist smile words? lol. I have said many times, it is the author's ultimate decision on what to use. No one has the right to "tell" them what to do; we merely offer suggestions or opinions which might sway one way or the other or be thrown in the garbage bin, hopefully with no emotional baggage. Take care. Vern
1,181 2015-10-25 03:30:04
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:, but one CAN laugh words. .
Hopefully, you're not offended, but I respectfully disagree. You can laugh at something or laugh during a conversation, but you can't laugh the words and the words of the speaker is what dialogue tags are for. Just making a sound does not make it a dialogue tag. If you or anyone can point me in the direction of any sound track where anyone can actually laugh the words, then I will gladly change my opinion. Pick any stream of words within this post or any other and try to laugh them; laugh them, not laugh during them or before them or after them or at them; simply laugh the words audibly and let me know how it works out. Put it on utube and it'll probably go viral. I'd even put up with a commercial to hear it. I would say you'd probably sound like a drunk laughing hyena, but don't want to push my luck, lol. Take care. Vern
Granted laughing words sort of comes out sounding like Woody Woodpecker (Pretty close to a drunk hyena). But it can be done. Try this one. Put your open fist to your mouth with the little opening where your thumb sort of overlaps your index finger and COUGH out as you say bullshit. I've witnessed this one on a number of movies. I guess one could say, "Joe coughed, 'Bullshit,' into his fist.
No, I'm not offended. We'll just have to agree to disagree. (Oh, I hate that phrase.) I think, though, the point of the article was the overuse of dialogue tags in general when using movement or facial expression or something would better move the story along.
Yes, I did try as you say, and no the cough did not say bullshit. The cough was interrupted by me saying bullshit. But I suppose there might be more talented coughers than I. Glad someone is not offended anyway. Take care. Vern
1,182 2015-10-25 02:10:03
Re: Punctuation (296 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
How would you punctuate this?
A long sentence from Virginia Woolf. She is notorious for them. Okay, we can use a Google search to reach the original; but without reference to her published version, where would you place the punctuation here? Would you retain it as one long sentence?
Considering how common illness is how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings how astonishing when the lights of health go down the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influenza brings to view what precipices and lawns sprinkled with bright flowers a little rise of temperature reveals what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted in us by the act of sickness how we go down into the pit of death and feel the water of annihilation close above our heads and wake thinking to find ourselves in the presence of the angels and harpers when we have a tooth out and come to the surface in the dentist’s arm chair and confuse his Rinse the Mouth rinse the mouth with the greeting of the Deity stooping from the floor of Heaven to welcome us when we think of this as we are frequently forced to think of it it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love and battle and jealousy among the prime themes of literature
I'm not even close to be up on proper punctuation, but I would leave it as one long sentence (I like those at times) and throw in a few commas as follows:
Considering how common illness is, how tremendous the spiritual change that it brings, how astonishing when the lights of health go down the undiscovered countries that are then disclosed, what wastes and deserts of the soul a slight attack of influenza brings to view, what precipices and lawns sprinkled with bright flowers a little rise of temperature reveals, what ancient and obdurate oaks are uprooted in us by the act of sickness, how we go down into the pit of death and feel the water of annihilation close above our heads and wake thinking to find ourselves in the presence of the angels and harpers, when we have a tooth out and come to the surface in the dentist’s arm chair and confuse his Rinse the Mouth rinse the mouth with the greeting of the Deity stooping from the floor of Heaven to welcome us, when we think of this as we are frequently forced to think of it, it becomes strange indeed that illness has not taken its place with love and battle and jealousy among the prime themes of literature.
Makes sense to me anyway as it rambles between the ears. I suppose you could throw in a semi-colon or dash or such at some point to reduce the monotony of the commas, but it wouldn't make it any clearer imo. Take care. Vern
1,183 2015-10-24 23:58:47
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Excerpted from Writers Digest:
***First, dialogue cannot be smiled, laughed, giggled, or sighed. Therefore, this example is incorrect:
“Don’t tickle me!” she giggled.
You can’t giggle spoken words. You can’t laugh them or sigh them or smile them, either. (I dare you to try it. If it works for you, write me and let me know. We could be on to something.) ***
Sounds like something I might say; oh, I did. lol. Take care. Vern
1,184 2015-10-24 23:28:36
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
, but one CAN laugh words. .
Hopefully, you're not offended, but I respectfully disagree. You can laugh at something or laugh during a conversation, but you can't laugh the words and the words of the speaker is what dialogue tags are for. Just making a sound does not make it a dialogue tag. If you or anyone can point me in the direction of any sound track where anyone can actually laugh the words, then I will gladly change my opinion. Pick any stream of words within this post or any other and try to laugh them; laugh them, not laugh during them or before them or after them or at them; simply laugh the words audibly and let me know how it works out. Put it on utube and it'll probably go viral. I'd even put up with a commercial to hear it. I would say you'd probably sound like a drunk laughing hyena, but don't want to push my luck, lol. Take care. Vern
1,185 2015-10-24 23:12:37
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:I'm not and have never said one is correct and the other is wrong, only the assumption that one can "tell" another author what to do and then become offended that someone disagrees with her. Rabbit hole? I don't know; you tell me. I certainly respect and most times follow your advice.
I'm not offended that you disagree with me.
I am offended that you mocked my writing.
You state earlier that my remarks weren't a review, they were mockery. And you also state that a review must involve "telling." I'm afraid I must disagree on all counts. My opening remarks on the subject stated that the opinions offered were from my perspective as a reader; only speaking for myself. My subsequent remarks clearly stated I did not perceive my remarks as an insult or mockery as you obviously do. Your choice of words sounded like a drunk barb to me as my opinion. My choice of words is offensive merely because I offered them as a different opinion on your choice of words to substitute for others which sounded more natural than what you replaced them with. In essence I was reviewing that portion of your story which was presented presumably for critique. I offered my opinion of it just as I would for any of my reviews. They are not always glowing; far from it and I dare say could if an author were so inclined be deemed harsher than what has so offended you, but no one has called them insulting yet. Sounds a whole lot like you're offended by my disagreement despite your denial. You see that works both ways; you don’t believe my explanation, I don’t believe yours.
I expect you’re also offended by my different opinion on dialogue tags as you insist you prefer the “standard” use. Yet, when I offer an example of an editor who disagrees with your usage, you simply say you have seen many such lists. Somehow, that simply doesn’t equate to there being a “standard” you go by - not your rules so doesn’t apply just as “telling” an author what to do isn’t condescending, but my use of “Take care” is evidently.
We’ve probably bashed this around in circles long enough, so I’ll just accept that we disagree and will try not to offend you should we happen to meet on another subject thread. You’re welcome to the last word should you desire. Take care. Vern
1,186 2015-10-24 20:28:21
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:So, my choice of words is insulting and condescending and you "telling" other authors they cannot use certain words (your stated practice, not mine) is not insulting or condescending.
Vern, have you gone down the rabbit hole?
She didn't say anything above about telling other people to remove words from their writing. She said that she is leery of advising people to auto-delete words from their manuscripts, as this often changes the intended meaning. I can't say I disagree with her.
Perhaps, but she clearly states in post 16 of this thread: "I have had to tell authors to insert "that" in certain places in sentences in the narration because the meaning was obscured by lack of the "extra" word. In many of these cases the author had originally included the missing "that" but then removed it on advice of another person who was hell bent on cutting "that"s."
So, while advising people to be leery of giving advice she is "telling" not suggesting that they following her advice instead of some one else "hell bent" on another approach. I'm not and have never said one is correct and the other is wrong, only the assumption that one can "tell" another author what to do and then become offended that someone disagrees with her. Rabbit hole? I don't know; you tell me. I certainly respect and most times follow your advice. Take care. Vern
1,187 2015-10-24 12:21:36
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Rebecca Vaughn wrote:Wow. My writing has been called a lot of things, but "drunk barb" must be at the top of the list. I suggest when insulting someone, you avoid closing with "Take care." It may be fine other places, but here, it comes off as condescending.
Well, to start with, I didn't realize it was an insult to point out that there just might not be concrete rules anymore than I assume you didn't think it an insult to "tell" other authors not to use "that" or any other word. You didn't mean it as an insult, right?
No, I didn't say that was an insult.
I said calling my dialogue “drunk barb” was insulting.
vern wrote:Rebecca Vaughn wrote:Wow. My writing has been called a lot of things, but "drunk barb" must be at the top of the list. I suggest when insulting someone, you avoid closing with "Take care." It may be fine other places, but here, it comes off as condescending.
Not sure exactly why a presumed insult would be "fine" somewhere else and not here on this site where one comes ostensibly to at least hear if not adhere to different opinions. Do you think you "telling" other authors not to do something is also condescending? Just curious.
I didn't say that an insult was fine. I said that saying “Take care” may be fine other times, but that here (after the insulting “drunk barb”) saying “Take care” comes off as condescending.
vern wrote:Rebecca Vaughn wrote:People laugh conversations all the time. Writers often say you can't laugh a word, but I have listened to people laugh entire conversations.
Second, you might want to get those folks laughing entire conversations on tape because I'm pretty sure it would turn lots of heads and educate quite a few.
I don't think it would change anything. People decide what they like or dislike. I hate “quipped”. It looks and sounds terrible. I much prefer “joked” (or anything) over “quipped." Yet there are many writers who use “quipped” all the time.
One person will use "laughed” and another will insist it has to be “said with a laugh” which actually has a different meaning.vern wrote:Rebecca Vaughn wrote:I use the standard way of setting dialogue tags because I think the new way is choppy and stops the flow.
And you might check out the "standard" use of a dialogue tag with such words as "laugh." You might be surprised how not so standard it could be.
I understood you to mean that the sentence
"Oh, do not think like that," she laughed.
Should be
"Oh, do not think like that." She laughed.
That is what I meant by I prefer the standard dialogue tag (the comma) to the new dialogue tag (the period). Nothing to do with the “laughed.”
vern wrote:As far as "drunk barb" goes, it just so happens "Be not shy here" sounds like a tipsy Shakespeare to me (maybe I'm alone here, dunno) which I find a whole lot more amusing than insulting, but to each their own.
As you say, To each his own.
You find it funny.
I am offended.
So, my choice of words is insulting and condescending and you "telling" other authors they cannot use certain words (your stated practice, not mine) is not insulting or condescending. Yes, I agree you are correct merely because those are the rules you go by. Oh, btw, the dialogue tag has everything to do with the "laugh" or similar words; and you can quip words, but you can't laugh them. Still, as stated, you can do however you wish even if you don't think other authors are capable of the same thing. Alas it's rather futile to discuss such things with someone so easily offended. Yep, to each their own. Take care -- uhh... no offense intended though I'm sure you will take it as such with my downright poor choice of words. Vern
Edited for PS:
***Verbs to never use as tags:
husked, hissed, breathed, interrupted, gasped, hoped, smiled, chortled, chuckled, laughed, cajoled, moaned, grunted, groaned, sighed
These verbs can be used around the dialogue, if they’re appropriate. Just don’t use them as dialogue tags.***
Not my words, but from an editor's blog. I'm sure you can find similar things to support your position on "laugh". Either way, it's not standard other than by your rules.
1,188 2015-10-24 02:37:46
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Perhaps no meaning is lost, but unless your writing is set in some other time and place where everyone talks like a drunk barb, what you have substituted is not all natural speech and it will surely sound out of place to the reader; at least to this one. There are no concrete rules for writing and if you impose such on yourself, well, then you're going to have pretty stiff dialogue imho. Take care. Vern .
Wow. My writing has been called a lot of things, but "drunk barb" must be at the top of the list. I suggest when insulting someone, you avoid closing with "Take care." It may be fine other places, but here, it comes off as condescending.
vern wrote:Edited for PS: Just one other teensy tidbit: You can't "laugh" conversation. You can laugh at it or with it, and you can even try to laugh at the same time, but you can't (cannot if you prefer) laugh the dialogue itself. Of course that is not set in concrete as a rule either since you can write anything you wish and keep those commas instead of periods, technically correct or not. Just a thought.
People laugh conversations all the time. Writers often say you can't laugh a word, but I have listened to people laugh entire conversations.
I use the standard way of setting dialogue tags because I think the new way is choppy and stops the flow.
Well, to start with, I didn't realize it was an insult to point out that there just might not be concrete rules anymore than I assume you didn't think it an insult to "tell" other authors not to use "that" or any other word. You didn't mean it as an insult, right? Not sure exactly why a presumed insult would be "fine" somewhere else and not here on this site where one comes ostensibly to at least hear if not adhere to different opinions. Do you think you "telling" other authors not to do something is also condescending? Just curious.
Second, you might want to get those folks laughing entire conversations on tape because I'm pretty sure it would turn lots of heads and educate quite a few. And you might check out the "standard" use of a dialogue tag with such words as "laugh." You might be surprised how not so standard it could be.
Third and maybe fourth, I use "Take care" to end practically every post because I don't consider any of them to be insulting and it is hopefully a gentle way to end a conversation even if opinions differ. I mean I can just stop abruptly in any future exchange if you prefer. As far as "drunk barb" goes, it just so happens "Be not shy here" sounds like a tipsy Shakespeare to me (maybe I'm alone here, dunno) which I find a whole lot more amusing than insulting, but to each their own.
Take care. Vern
1,189 2015-10-23 22:40:17
Re: DELETE (55 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I had a lot of sentences like
"Come now, Prince! Out with it!"
"Come, come," she laughed. "Do not think like that."
"Come on. You really cannot say that for sure."
These sentences read the same as
"Be not shy here, Prince! Out with it!"
"Oh, do not think like that," she laughed.
"But you cannot say that for sure."
I killed four "come"s and no meaning was sacrificed.
Perhaps no meaning is lost, but unless your writing is set in some other time and place where everyone talks like a drunk barb, what you have substituted is not all natural speech and it will surely sound out of place to the reader; at least to this one. There are no concrete rules for writing and if you impose such on yourself, well, then you're going to have pretty stiff dialogue imho. Take care. Vern
Edited for PS: Just one other teensy tidbit: You can't "laugh" conversation. You can laugh at it or with it, and you can even try to laugh at the same time, but you can't (cannot if you prefer) laugh the dialogue itself. Of course that is not set in concrete as a rule either since you can write anything you wish and keep those commas instead of periods, technically correct or not. Just a thought.
1,190 2015-10-23 02:15:30
Re: Punctuation (296 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Charles_F_Bell wrote:vern wrote:Or: A woman without; her man is nothing.
Ordinarily the two parts of semicolon phrasing can stand alone, and the above fails. The first half ends in a preposition, has no verb, and does not make sense.
Unless she is outside of the building looking for her imaginary Teutonic boyfriend?
A woman without? Herman is no thing.
PTL, somebody gets the point -- and it wasn't her, lol. Take care. Vern
1,191 2015-10-22 12:15:19
Re: Punctuation (296 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
vern wrote:Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:Or: A woman without; her man is nothing.
Ordinarily the two parts of semicolon phrasing can stand alone, and the above fails. The first half ends in a preposition, has no verb, and does not make sense.
Really? I seldom deal with the ordinary. Take care. Vern
1,192 2015-10-22 02:35:27
Re: Punctuation (296 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Or: A woman without; her man is nothing.
Take care. Vern
1,193 2015-10-19 11:31:25
Re: Superhero Origins Contest Winners (15 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I want to thank the academy for this award, OMG, and my family for putting up with me, my editors for not being too pushy, my reviewers for knowing what they're talking about, my childhood friends who bought all those comics for me to read to them, my first grade teacher for not keeping me in the corner any longer than necessary, all those who paved the path before me, and most of all my fans who make it all worthwhile ...
Okay, seriously, THANK YOU to all. And congrats to all winners which includes all who participated. Take care. Vern
1,194 2015-10-16 01:34:33
Re: Ask the Expert. (62 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Charles_F_Bell wrote:"Round" itself has many meanings enough without adding another one.
True... and strange that I'd never thought of it before. Adverb and preposition. Is it the word with the most meanings?
According to The Guinness Book of Records:
The word with the most meanings in English is the verb 'set', with 430 senses listed in the Second Edition of the Oxford English Dictionary, published in 1989. The word commands the longest entry in the dictionary at 60,000 words, or 326,000 characters.
Take care. Vern
1,195 2015-10-15 22:00:44
Re: In line review issue. (13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I've also got one those damn drafts that won't go away. After searching every avenue known to man for a way to destroy the stupid thing, I just ignored it. No, it still didn't go away, but I no longer acknowledge its existence; that's my pay back, lol. And hey, if you find out how to delete the culprit, let me know. Take care. Vern
1,196 2015-10-14 23:21:37
Re: Quickee V Private message question. (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
It makes absolutely no sense to have the "private message" link in the profile and state that you can leave a quickie (which is public) or if you want to leave a private message you can use the private message system when in fact that link doesn't work if you're not connected. I mean, one might wish to tell another to get lost in private so as not to create a public uproar with sides chosen; doesn't make sense to have to "connect" with them first. Sounds like a job for Super Sol to correct such a system weakness. Take care. Vern
1,197 2015-10-14 23:01:22
Re: Short Story Competition (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Hey Sol,
Is there a simple way to republish or do I need to make a new published version of the work?
Not Sol, but can answer should you wish a perhaps quicker response: If you just want to make some edits, then you can do so, but if you want previous reviewers to be able to review again, you must publish a new version. Take care. Vern
1,198 2015-10-09 00:40:25
Re: In line review issue. (13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Actually, everything except the closing comment auto saves so it is there. To find it, go to reviews and then inline posted. It's not so intuitive finding a draft so e need to upgrade that at some point.
If everything is supposed to auto save even without hitting "save" or "submit" then there is a glitch somewhere because I've had them disappear when cut off for one reason or another, never to be seen again despite searching all those reviews more than once. No, I can't say where or when because I simply figured it was lost and moved on. Take care. Vern
1,199 2015-10-08 12:23:34
Re: In line review issue. (13 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I used the in-line review for the first time. Pretty good, I like it. But...about half way through I saved my review to have dinner, cam back...could not open it. click click bloody click click, clickity click click. Hee haw. Had to start again.
So does anyone know why? Sarcastic responses welcome.
If you actually "saved" it, then it should show as a "draft" under your in-line reviews posted. If you instead accidentally hit "submit" then it should be there as a normal in-line review would. However, if you mistakenly closed it out without actually hitting either "save" or "submit" then it would disappear as you may have discovered. But the silver lining is that you get to do it all over again as a more experienced reviewer. Your target audience will thank you. Take care. Vern
1,200 2015-10-05 00:43:55
Re: Just Joined (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Hello to you all i have just joined and i am looking forward to reading all the writings
Hi, HH, welcome to the site. It is a great place to read and be read, review and be reviewed. And of course sometimes writers are a bit crazy, lol. Good luck. Take care. Vern