Repetition

Valance

Breath

Chipped tooth

A certain self-deluded, bromancing, egotistical, fraudulent, xenophobic, pathological liar, dictator loving, orange-headed pecker head ... president.

Wine

Supper

Upchuck

Broken Arrow

Elvis in Graceland

Fractured fairy tales

Family-photo-day

Hi, TJ, what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, but the odds are that you just might be selling the site (and yourself) short. Just as an example, when I joined, my novel was already completed, but I didn't post anything for several months while I reviewed others and became active in the forums to get to know a lot of folks at least indirectly. And once I started posting, the reviews came very quickly and from a diverse audience. You might note that on average you need to do three or four reviews  for each you receive, but you're probably going to have to do those in order to gain the credits to publish your next chapter anyway, so the counting doesn't really mean anything. Overall point is that it takes time to build working relationships and to be quite frank and honest (if you stay, you'll find that's the only way I will be) you have not done your part to date. You talk of expecting reviews everyday when you are "complaining" about not liking to read. That just may be why your review ratio comes up short for achieving the number of reviews you seem to expect. Of course you have your right to high expectations without the required input And once n a great while there may be writers who achieve just what you expect, but it doesn't happen often. The odds most often times win. Having said all that, I wish you luck with whatever final decision you make. I will offer one more tidbit that you might find useful at some point, if not on this site, perhaps another: It happens quite often that folks come to the forums and ask politely for help with their stories and surprisingly often they end up receiving a fair amount of reviews. However, most of the time, threatening to leave the site doesn't work nearly as well. Just my two cents for what it's worth if anything. Take care. Vern

String bikini

Kanye West

Malarkey

Skeeters

Bunny

Elks Club

Suitable for framing

Hedonism

622

(5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Well, to start with if you're using "his" it isn't coming from the pov of the character speaking since he is referred to in third person. And one doesn't need to "see" that they widen their eyes; outside of looking in a mirror, it is a feeling. But beyond that, it is doubtful anyone outside a reviewing site such as this would notice or care about such a distinction. If it flows naturally within the context presented, I would not be concerned about it. Of course you could use a completely different description to show the same effect without saying it directly should you wish to eliminate the nit pick entirely. In the end, if it fits your ear and thoughts, then I would stick with your gut feeling until such time as a royalty paying entity makes such a suggestion. Good luck. Take care. Vern

Okay, all these are wonderful ideas, but unfortunately under the situation Seabrass described, he didn't have time to use a phone or write something down, so you just have to repeat the scenario to yourself as often as can be afforded at the moment and hope it sinks in. I've also found that if I relax and try to visualize exactly what I was doing and thinking at the moment of inspiration, it often comes back to me. Other than that, you might try a voice activated recorder and strap it to your person in the least offensive manner possible. Good luck. Take care. Vern

Dagger to the heart

Because