So that won't work for a different thing for Reese and the flight crew to do. It's and idea to add more tension in chapter 9, I could have something not fire and have to have maintenance do another EVA..
27 2015-05-28 18:42:03
Re: Chapter 8 (16 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
EVAs - What does the acronym stand for? I have an idea but I'm not sure. And would a flight crew do this kind of an inspection? Or would that be maintenance or engineers?
28 2015-05-28 18:39:17
Re: Deck Plans and Drawings (27 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Great idea Dirk.
Tom place it on the bridge level. Aft section.
Karen
29 2015-05-28 18:36:27
Re: email alerts (3 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Will do, too.
I seem to be having problems getting email alerts for subscribed topics too.
Karen
30 2015-05-28 13:04:21
Re: Deck Plans and Drawings (27 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
That sounds like a great idea Tom.
31 2015-05-28 13:02:13
Topic: Chapter 8 (16 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
This is a biggy. Based on Dirk's recent review. I've done three sim scenes now. This chapter was the first one I had originally wrote. And Dirk made a good point that doing another one kind of makes it a yawn for the reader, no matter if I work on making the banter even funnier with a bit more tension thrown in.
(Dirk, I have that book "Dialogue" you referred to in your review. I agree, but also disagree with some of the things it says in it,)
I also feel a good teasing scene can add tension too. If done right, because it could make Reese worried about how the flight crew will treat Delana. Whether the worry was warranted or not.
The other thing is since it's so close to the actual launch of the mission, would a shuttle test run to the space station work? Because they actually leave to board Aurora in the next chapter, so it would be two shuttle launches in back to back chapters.
So what else could the main flight crew get together to do on the day before launching on this mission?
All ideas are welcome.
32 2015-05-28 12:48:33
Topic: Chapters 6 & 7 (0 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
I'm combining these too, since I call these my introduction chapters. So ways I can make these intros smoother but still give the sense of being overwhelming for Delana.
33 2015-05-28 12:46:57
Topic: Chapter 5 (3 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
How to add more tension and should there be any tension among the main flight crew?
34 2015-05-28 12:45:36
Topic: Chapter 4 (1 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
I need to develop more tension and should I have Delana's father leave for a few minutes to give Delana and Reese some private time to talk.
I could have Frank say, "I've got a few calls to make, I'll be make in a few minutes." Or something like that.
35 2015-05-28 12:28:15
Re: Deck Plans and Drawings (27 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
I like Hairy's Place - LOL!!
Hi Dirk,
There are mysteries on the planet they finally discover that could either be answered in two ways. The Aliens did it, or like in the Old Testament when they mention Angels they encounter. But I don't answer those questions in this novel.
When I wrote this I didn't plan it out I let it flow and take me where it wanted to take me. I'm just glad it stayed in a liner pattern. So there are things that still need to be added into the beginning of the novel. That's the fun of a first draft. Plus the torture..
36 2015-05-27 05:23:47
Re: Deck Plans and Drawings (27 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
I don't have a problem with unisex heads. It makes more room for other important things.
Karen
37 2015-05-26 22:50:44
Re: Deck Plans and Drawings (27 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
They open just fine for me. The only reason I can think of for putting them directly up on the forum is if we want to see them to discuss any changes we can think of.
By the way, I really like the corridor picture.
Karen
38 2015-05-20 03:05:36
Re: You Raise Me Up by Josh Grobin (1 replies, posted in Spirituality & Religion)
Thanks Dirk, it's one of my all time favorite gospel songs.
39 2015-05-20 02:53:07
Re: Plan (7 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Dirk, it's good to know you have elements in your novel that I'm considering doing with my novel. Oh and don't worry about your novel being two years old. Mines that old too. It's only the ending that I wrote this year.
Tom, thanks for another great review. So much to think about when I start working on the edits you pointed out for that chapter.
I'm going to concentrate on getting caught up on some reviewing this weekend. Tomorrow I have Wednesday night prayer service to work, and Thursday I have a review to give a Strongest Start classmate who got behind on submitting his final section.
Karen
40 2015-05-19 14:44:22
Re: Plan (7 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
It's chapter 22 call "Nice Puppy" 
Karen
41 2015-05-19 14:23:50
Re: Plan (7 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Tom,
I'm so glad your doing better and have a clean bill of health!!!! 
I did post a new chapter on the day you got sick, before I knew what had happened to you.
As for color, do it sparingly and as a highlight, or something - such as lights - to make them more understandable in a smaller picture. Think of Shindlers' list where the movie was done in black and white except for that little girl.
Karen
42 2015-05-19 01:14:05
Topic: Plan (7 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Hi Everyone,
I've been a bit tired this weekend, from a bit of anemia and worry over Tom Oldman, so I took it easy this weekend as I kept him in my thoughts and prayers. Once I know he's feeling better, I'll get started on my plan of attack for my revision process of this novel.
I'm going to continue with the brain storming we've been doing, but I'm going to keep practicing my novel boot camp editing strategy. And that's to do several passes of the novel. First pass is for line edits to find redundancies, grammar issues, wrong words, etc.
Next round is for adding additional content. And trimming.
So I'm going to continue to implement Tom's edits to the chapters he's reviewed as I add more chapters. I will post to the halfway point of my novel.
Then start the major revisions of the first five chapters.
Once we all like those.
Then we'll go over the next five chapters the same way. Etc. etc....
Let me know if this plan sounds feasible.
I'm not going to take my time with this to make this as good as I possibly can.
43 2015-05-16 00:29:19
Re: Be back soon (15 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I'm just glad you're okay! I don't want anything to happen to you, and I'm sure I'm the only one who feels that way.
44 2015-05-14 13:05:46
Re: Spacing (6 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
LOL!!! Go to your nearest writing museum and I'm sure they'll have a few on display.
45 2015-05-14 03:30:33
Re: Welcome!! (9 replies, posted in The Aurora Mission)
Tom and Dirk the newest member of our little group is Jessica, she was part of the strongest start class. I know you two will like her as much as I do.
Jessica I'm thrilled you took me up on my offer to join my small group of reviewers.
46 2015-05-14 03:15:46
Re: Spacing (6 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
I haven't typed two spaces after a period, since I stopped using a typewriter. I had that 'what is she talking about' moment when I read the article. So I guess I'm cured of that habit, if it ever was a habit.
47 2015-05-14 03:01:04
Re: (Newbie peeks around the corner into the Room ...) (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Don't worry about any of the cool kids, we ignore their whispering to one another in the corner.
48 2015-05-12 21:57:14
Topic: We Have A Winner (4 replies, posted in Spirituality & Religion)
Before I reveal who the winner is I want to let all the entrants know that I enjoyed reading and reviewing all your entries. Now I'm happy to announce the winner of the first short story contest:
Johnnie Ruffin, M.sc - Thank God And Be Grateful
If you haven't read it yet I highly recommend it.
49 2015-05-10 19:40:25
Re: MY APOLOGY (7 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Just because some of us can't keep up with how quickly you are adding new postings, doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. So in my book you have nothing to apologize for.
50 2015-05-10 18:07:58
Re: LESSON 4 ASSIGNMENT (5 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start - Spring 2015)
I did do all four of these sample problems. And since I'm the first one to post my answers to the group. I'm going to post my answer to number 1.
(1)“And since you’re my favorite customer,” Mr. Lucas said, smiling happily, “I’ll throw in this frisbee free of charge.” The boy watched it glide smoothly across the room and land just short of his teacher’s heels.
This one has an overdose of adverbs that feels a bit amateurish and a bit lazy, because there’s no thought in what’s actually happening in the scene. This one could also not have been in the correct register. I’m also a bit lost in where the boy is, because is he in a store then in his classroom, is the conversation a flashback memory of the boy’s after he throws the frisbee? As such I’m going to fully change this passage to make it a bit more understandable.
While on a field trip to the general store, Mr. Lucas singled out a boy who often frequented his store. With a twinkle in his eyes, Mr. Lucas said, “Since you’re my favorite customer, I’ll throw in this frisbee free of charge.” The boy watched Mr. Lucas demonstrate how it worked, and he grinned as he observed it glide across the room and land just short of his teacher’s feet.
