I have duel screens, so what I do when I apply my edits is I apply them to my actual word document, and when I feel I've made enough changes to the chapter I re-copy and paste the newest version into tNBW letting anyone know that I had applied edits to the chapter from XXXX's reviews.
Karen
Tom and Dirk, It's nice that you both agree with my estimation that too much action can also be boring.
(Dirk, I'm assuming from your answer that it's not always in the action where you get the best tension in the story that moves the story along. I also adore Empire Strikes Back, it's playing in my head as I write this. I feel it's a wonderful study of action, character development and tension all wrapped together in one beautiful package.)
Another great book and movie is the Count of Monte Cristo. especially the remake, which I feel does a much better job of following the novel. It's not full of action scenes, but the tension is palpable throughout both the book and the movie. And the character development is incredible. I remember reading the book when I was a teenager and continuously flipping the page and staying up late to know what was going to happen next. And the thing I like about the newest movie version is how it brought the scene were Mercedes tells Fernand that the son he thought was his wasn't his and that she had never loved him. In the book it had described him breaking a mirror and saying that she had pleased him some of the time. And to see it come to life in the movie version was glorious. I feel that's a nod to all the actors for taking on their roles and playing them perfectly.
These are just a few of the things I hope to achieve in my novel, but even coming close to that kind of character development and tension could make my novel a best seller and a classic. And just think I picked you tow to help me do that. Besides the major acknowledgement that I will give you two, I'm considering other tangible ways of thanking you two for helping me edit and revise this novel.
Hmm...I got my email alerts today. I had to go check since I was on the sight working through Dirk's edits of Chapters 4 and 5 to get the ready for the strongest start class. This is the final week of that class, so once that's done I'll be fully focused on the revision ideas we are starting to develop from these group discussions.
Back to your alert issue, what have you tried so far to try and fix the problem. Like logging out of tNBW and relogging back in. Unsubscribing and re-subscribing to the topics. I can't think of other things that might work to fix the issue off the top of my head. I'm also not sure how I fixed it on my end. What about on your email server end, could they be going into junk mail?
I know each person is different, so I expect what can make me yawn while reading or watching a movie could be a lot different than what might make you yawn.
I brought this up, because I've been finding that too much action in a book or movie is starting to drive me to boredom. I'm not sure if it's the get on with it phenomenon. In this one novel I'm almost done reading the action has been happening for about five chapters. To me it's feeling overdone. I also experienced that while watching the new Avengers movie. I can't put my finger on why I'm feeling this way lately.
The thing is tension and solid conflict in a story is good, but not every book needs a huge fight scene or multiple fight scenes in them.
Don't worry we will most likely discuss more things than what will be added to the novel. Part of my queries are for possible news stories in other chapters.
I wouldn't think fruit trees would need soil to sink their roots into.
I was also wondering about ways scientist might try and preserve plants that aren't for food, but that they may want to save from going extinct with the increasing cold and snow.
I don't know why I added the 'y' I must be more tired then I thought.
"terraponics" it is!
Tom? Do you like it too?
How about Terrapoynics? Or Seropoynics?
Hydro = Water
Terra = Earth
Sero = Plant
I'm using soil. Here in Minnesota we have this conservatory, it's basically a huge greenhouse and I imagine the insides of my hydroponic buildings and bays, on my spaceships, look like that. Google Como Zoo Conservatory to see the pictures of what it looks like on outside and inside the building.
Nitrogen is one, I can't remember the rest off the top of my head. The thing about crop rotation is that some crops actually help replenish the soils nutrient values where other crops absorb it. Sometimes you allow a field to a season of rest without planting any crops to allow the soil to regain it's nutrients.
Yep, I've seen that movie and remember that scene, which gives me a good visual to use to describe these buildings.
I will definitely make my solar panels more efficient.
I'm not too sure about putting a news article at the beginning of every chapter, due to there being over 60 chapters. What about this: Chapter 1, 11, 21, 31, etc.?
I just googled how plants get their nutritional value. And it says that plants get their nutrients from the soil. So as long as the soil is nutrient rich, grow lights and CO2 would be all that's needed for plants that need Sun light. Oh and some bees, butterflies and birds to pollinate the plants. And some good earthworms to keep producing nutrient rich soil.
Plant rotation would also be important.
Tom, That's a great idea for a news report. I can see incorporating news articles throughout my novel to keep the crew and thus the readers informed about events on earth.
Dirk, those are all good questions. The first thing to figure out is how many solar panels it would take to power a square mile building. There would also be a number of windows on the roof to give the plants on the upper level natural light. I'm thinking the buildings would be three levels tall and at least three levels deep.
A roof collapse would still be a big deal because it would destabilize the entire structure and it would disrupt the solar array, so the power to the undamaged floors would be cut off.
Panama Canal news report: Maybe it could be about it getting a foot a snow in the area and some food riots outside one of the hydroponic farms near the canal? And like the Indonesian Island's this is the first time it snowed in that region?
I need to develop more tension in the breakfast scene where Delana tells her original science crew she would be leaving to go on a new mission.
It was suggested that this crew should be more curious about what she's be reassigned to do.
Maybe there should also be some resentment that Delana chose Jean to take over as the lead scientist.
Get Delana's take on the hydroponic farms. Is she starting to get worried that they won't have enough time to find a new planet before Earth fully freezes over?
Maybe some more tension in the first meeting she has when Delana gets to the space center.
What should be added to this chapter?
I would guess there's a large hydroponics farm near the space center.
Shouts from the protestors? Maybe some of them are on the radical side of the religious spectrum and that's why they're protesting, some maybe feel too much money is being spent on the space program, because they feel it's futile to seek out a new planet.
I had a reviewer feel my little quirk I tried in this chapter where Reese does a quick look at himself in any thing that reflects his image makes him seem hung up on himself.
As Dirk pointed out in his review I need to work on the meeting scene so Monica and Dego don't come across as kind of dense.
And a better ending.
I received the notification for this post and the one you replied to in the main form about notifications. So hopefully, that's fixed now. I'm going to start the Chapter 2 and 3 topics now.
Sometime after 2PM I stopped getting notifications of new posts of a thread I'm subscribed to and there were at least five posts to that topic since that last notification I had received. Has anyone else noticed this?
Should we start the discussions of chapters 2 and 3? Since I feel that's where the questions about how they are growing their food would be answered.
Wow! I read six chapters and thought I had only read three. You'll have to get used to my memory gaps, I'm afraid. I also tend to repeat myself at times. Same reason.
I look at the end of chapter 3 and at chapter 4, where father and daughter are together. The argument starts late in chapter 3 and continues through chapter 4. That's plenty of time to establish her anger. Turn up the heat in chapter 4 and you can relate her anger through dialogue. It'll also help increase the tension I thought was missing from chapter 4.
Dirk
It's good to know that your suffering from memory lapses, it will keep me from getting frumpy if I ever have to repeat myself. 
That would be a good place to amp up the tension at the end of chapter 3 and the beginning of chapter four. We'll get more into those chapters when discuss them individually.
In one of your reviews, I think it was of chapter six you were wondering when they leave on the mission and that's in Chapter 9.
Just a bit about Chapter's 6 and 7 if they feel over whelming due to all the intros in them think how Delana must feel, we'll get more into that when we get to those chapters.
mikira (AKA KLSundstrom) wrote:Think about the Little Ice Age that began in the early 1800's and ended when we finally started warming out of it in the 1900's, it correlates to a very low ebb of the sun spot cycle. We in fact had another period before the recent cycle we are in right now where it is starting to show we could be entering another period where we could experience another period where there won't be any sunspots for a long period of time. So I extrapolated on that.
Thank you. Now, I've got it. Did I miss this explanation in the book so far? Sometimes I can't see the forest for trees with all of my nitting. If it's not there yet, I highly recommend putting in the first chapter. As I mentioned, the sea storm would be a great place for such reflection. It wouldn't take more than a few paragraphs (pretty much what you just posted for me) and would help ground the story.
Your call.
Dirk
It's not spelled out like this, it's more subtle, it's in the first conversation Delana has with her father when she tells him about her findings and asks him what new data NASA has on the sun, which her dad replies that its getting dimmer.
However, since I want people to fully grasp the science behind what is happening I will do as you suggest and have Delana think about this as the storm rages.
It was also suggested that I throw in some shouts from crew members that pass by Delana's cabin during the storm.
For some reason, I am not getting notifications, despite having subscribed to this thread. maybe they'll start soon.
~Tom
I'm not getting all of my notifications either.
Okay about the ending of this chapter, I allude to that fight in both chapter two and three, so if I take it out of chapter 1 what would be the best way to show it at least in chapter 3, should I have Delana think about it? Do a small flash back to it? I only say it because I want the reader to know how made Delana had gotten with her father after President Stone convinced her to be a part of the mission.
Dirk, Don't worry I don't mind having to explain it even more. Think about the Little Ice Age that began in the early 1800's and ended when we finally started warming out of it in the 1900's, it correlates to a very low ebb of the sun spot cycle. We in fact had another period before the recent cycle we are in right now where it is starting to show we could be entering another period where we could experience another period where there won't be any sunspots for a long period of time. So I extrapolated on that. These are natural phenomenon's that NASA has recorded on their website. NASA also has the ability to measure the sun's output of energy, so scientists would know if the sun started to give off less and less of it. And yes, if that happened we would go into a deep freeze.
Land masses absorb the sun's energy, but they don't hold it as well as the ocean's do, so once the oceans weren't getting enough heat energy from the sun the heat they had absorbed from the sun would dissipate and once enough of that heat dissipated they would start to freeze. Fresh water freezing first, do to it freezing at 0 C where it need's to get to -2 C before salt water will start to freeze. The poles having the coldest water would of course freeze first and where my novel starts is actually where the warmest water on the planet resides.
So no calamity befalls the planet or the sun in my novel, it's is all natural developments, it's just that the sun is failing faster than anyone would ever imagine that it would.
Yes I also need to add a religious element to this, because Delana does say a prayer later in the novel and I elude to her praying more often after that prayer.
Okay I'm going to address all the questions from Dirk's second reply first. Then after work I'll go into more detail on the other topics that came up.
Note: I will consider everything that is suggested and if I decide I won't do that much of a change, I'll explain why. Plus I'll add some idea that we might all mull over to correct the issue to everyone's satisfaction.
On the question of where this chapter starts and where I have it end. There are a couple of things I'm trying to establish in my opening paragraph. First being that Delana enjoys yoga, I have her do yoga moves and breathing throughout my novel, so I wanted that established from the beginning. The other is her grace of movement. Cat-Like grace. So I won't cut it entirely, but I will entertain ideas on a different way of stopping her morning routine. Maybe a major gust of wind rocks the ship before the phone call.
As for the scene with her father I want to establish how upset she is with him, so I want to keep that in, so having the orders from President Stone pop up on her screen after she ends her call with her father is an approach I will consider.
Quick insight, anything around the equator would be the last to fully freeze over, so the Cape of Good Hope is no longer an option and you can travel across the ice to Antarctica now. So the Panama Canal is very important to the shipping industry no matter how small it may be due to the oceans starting to freeze.
Food is grown in large Hydroponic green houses, so yes Solar Energy is used. These are also what keep the oxygen level okay on Earth
Billions of people have already died because of the cold, due to all reasons you can think of that would cause human death related to a pretty rapid change in climate. Think of it this way people had been in the major belief of Global Warming so they had try to deny this was happening, when they realized their mistakes they tried to mitigate the damages and started working on the space program and put more funding into finding out one the why it happened, two how long the cold snap might last and a space program they had started to neglect. (Which is what they are doing now.)
Well I got to get back to work, so I'll continue responding later.
Thanks!
Karen
