She wept quietly in the back seat of the Dunn's SUV, the red ribbon gripped tightly in her hands. She felt her heart shattering into a million pieces. Her tears would not subside. How was she supposed to get through the week? And summer was almost gone. How would she ever get through the winter?

Connor backed the car into the driveway, leaving enough room to unpack the camping equipment.

"McKenna, please help us unload. Then we can all go in and get a decent shower."

McKenna grabbed the car door handle and flung it open. "I can't, mother," she sobbed. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"McKenna!" Sarah called angrily after her.

"Leave her go, Sarah," Connor said softly. "The girl is overtired."

"Aren't we all," Sarah grumbled but let her daughter go.

McKenna ran to her room, slammed the door closed, and fell onto her bed. Agonizing sobs slammed through her, but she couldn't seem to stop them.

"What's wrong, child?" Her grandmother poked her head in the door. When she saw McKenna's distress, she came into the room and closed the door behind her.

McKenna still couldn't bring herself to say the words. She didn't think her grandmother would understand what she was going through. Her grandmother was too old.

Grandma sat down on the bed next to McKenna and stroked her hair. "Something must be wrong, child. I've never seen you this upset before."

"I'm okay, Grandma," McKenna insisted. Then she started to weep out of control, unable to speak.

"Oh, child, come here." Her grandmother wrapped her arms around McKenna and held her against her ample bosom, rocking her gently back and forth. "Everything is going to be all right. It can't be that bad."

"But it is," McKenna insisted, then "Oh, Grandma," she howled. "What am I supposed to do? I'm in love with him."

"Oh," Grandma murmured, now understanding. "It will be all right. All wounds take time to heal."

McKenna sobbed harder. "I don't have a wound, Grandma. He loves me, too. But I had to leave him to come home. Oh, Grandma, this hurts so bad."

"I know it does, child," Grandma said as she rocked McKenna back and forth like a baby.

She felt herself growing sleepy when the sharp knock came on her door.

"McKenna!" It was her mother.

McKenna didn't answer her. Her eyelids were growing heavy, and her sobs had turned to soft hiccups. It was warm and soothing in her grandmother's arms. She preferred to stay there.

The door opened, and her mother came into the room. "McKenna, what is wrong with you?"

McKenna said nothing, only fought to keep her eyes open.

"McKenna, I'm making a doctor's appointment for you. There's something wrong with you that you're not telling me. Maybe you'll talk to Dr. Winchell. She's always been a good listener."

"I'm not sick," she said drowsily. "I don't need a doctor. I have Grandma, don't I, Grandma?"

Grandma only nodded her head as she continued to rock her.

"It doesn't matter," her mother insisted. "You're going to go. I'll call them today and make the appointment."

***

The examination table was cold and uncomfortable. She lay naked under a paper sheet, wishing the doctor would hurry up. She was shivering and her feet were cold. Her hands felt like ice. Why did they bother putting her in this position if the doctor wasn't ready? She felt so degraded.

Finally, Dr. Winchell stepped into the room. "Are you ready, McKenna?"

She wanted to say no. 

"This is your first pap smear?" 

"Yes," she answered.

The doctor patted her knee with ice-cold hands. Mckenna shivered again.

She lay back and stared at the pictures on the ceiling and thought, How silly was it to put pictures on the ceiling. Especially when she had to lay here, very still, her feet in the stirrups, with her legs spread wide and a doctor's face inches from her private parts. The intrusion of the doctor's instruments wasn't very painful, but she still felt violated.

Dr. Winchell tapped her on the knee. "Ok, McKenna. You can sit up now."

She pulled her feet from the stirrups and struggled to a sitting position.

"Go ahead and get dressed. I'll meet you in my office."

McKenna dressed quickly and found the doctor at her desk, her mother seated in front of her. At the sight of her mother, she stopped.

"Does she have to be here?"

"I'm sorry, McKenna," Dr. Winchell apologized. "but you're underage. A parent or guardian has to be present."

She glanced at her mother, but her mother was kept her eyes straight ahead.

Unwillingly, Mckenna took the chair next to her, sliding it a few inches away from her.

"Okay," Dr. Winchell perused the documents in front of her. "Everything looks good. Blood pressure normal, triglycerides normal. You’re low on Vitamin D. You might want to start taking a multiple vitamin like Centrum since you’re getting older."

"What about..." Sarah sat on the edge of her chair. She seemed anxious about something.

"Yes," the doctor nodded. "According to medical journals, virginity is not something that's easily discovered during a pap smear, Mrs. Dunn. But I believe it is. And yes, I believe McKenna is still a virgin."

McKenna stared at the doctor. "But." She stopped and bit her bottom lip. She couldn’t tell her mother about Dane. Instead, her anger intensified, and she lashed out, "Are you satisfied, mother? Are you happy your little girl is still a little girl?"

"Stop it, McKenna," Sarah said sharply.

McKenna stared at her, the tears forming in her eyes. "I hate you, mother," she hissed and ran from the room sobbing.

***

She sought comfort in her bed, the covers pulled up to her chin. She felt sick inside. It took all of her effort to crawl from the bed to the bathroom. She spent the entire week in her room, staring out the window or sleeping.

Now the weekend was here, and instead of McKenna spending the weekend in Danes’s arms, her parents decided to stay home. They felt she was too sick to go camping at the lake. It only made her hate them more.

Grandma knocked softly on her door and stuck her head into the room. "May I come in, child?"

McKenna responded with a quick nod. She felt unable to start a conversation without crying.

The bed sagged beneath Grandma's weight as she sat next to McKenna. "Is there anything I can do for you, McKenna?"

"No, Grandma. There's nothing you can do. There's only one thing that's going to help me. But now I'm not even able to go back to the lake. I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm sure he's there looking for me!"

"But you don't seem to understand, McKenna."

"Understand what, Grandma?" she asked, the tears welling up in her eyes. "Just what am I supposed to understand? I'm new at this. I don't know anything about love. And my mother sure isn't going to tell me. Do you know that Dane and I are hand-fasted? That means we are married, Granda!”

“Goodness,” Grandma’s eyes grew wide, and she placed a trembling hand over her bosom. “I know what hand-fasting is, McKenna.”

 “And,” McKenna continued as if she hadn’t been interrupted. “We made love the last night we were together. Mother sure doesn't know about that. Oh, how I would love to rub that in her face. If only I had the guts. But when she took me to the doctor, the doctor told her that I'm still a virgin. How is that possible?"

A look of fear quickly crossed her grandmother's face but disappeared so fast McKenna wasn't sure it had even been there. "I don't have an answer for that. But I do have some advice if you're willing to take it."

"I'm willing to listen to anything that will help. I can't take feeling this way anymore. I feel like I'm going to die."

"You're not going to die," Grandma chuckled. "You've got a lot of time left."

"So what's your advice, Grandma?"

Grandma took a deep breath. "Get your behind out of this bed. Take a shower. Join the family for meals. Spend time with your friends. They love you, and they're worried about you. It's possible that talking with them might help you. You don't seem to understand that you could be sabotaging yourself."

"Sabotaging myself?"

She nodded. "Your parents are never going back to the lake as long as you are acting this way. They suspect that the lake is the reason you are so depressed. And they are right. Why are you giving them ammunition?"

“Ammunition?”

“Yes, child. You’re giving them a reason to keep you from the lake.”

"Oh, Grandma, I never thought of that."

"Of course you didn't," Grandma laughed. "That's why you have me."

McKenna hugged her tightly around the neck. "And I'm so glad I have you. Where would I be without you?"

"That's why I'm here, child."

© Copyright 2026 k.l.warzala. All rights reserved.