Search options (Page 30 of 171)

A brief history about the compound and breeding program can be related to Connor by one of his genetic relatives, so it doesn't all have to be experienced firsthand by Connor, although I definitely think he should visit the compound. Perhaps that's where the most recent generation of kids still live, hiding away because people fear their powers. That could lead to a coordinated attack by superstitious locals while Connor is there. I think he should also be challenged by one of the kids (alpha male), who wants to see if he can best Connor and take over as leader. They fight physically and Connor seems to lose, pinned to the ground by the other kid. Just when the kid thinks he's stronger and better, Connor surprises him by throwing the kid off and overpowering him. This could be the first reveal that Connor is truly more powerful than any of the others. Another step in revealing his true power to the other characters and the reader could come while Connor is being trained by St. Michael. It might even be a surprise to Connor just how strong he really is. The final step would be during the battle, when Connor holds nothing back when fighting the demons. Heads will fly!

I had a neat idea for book three. Since Connor needs a human fighting force at the beginning of the final battle, I thought that Connor, being the result of genetic manipulation based on Satan's millennia-old breeding program, would have had predecessors from the breeding program. Turns out, many of them are still alive, even though Satan had ordered them destroyed once Connor was born. The program was run from a compound in the the jungles of South America, run by a trainer who took pity on the last batch of kids created for the program, so he led them to a local priest, who assumed their care.

In book three, Connor learns of their existence, so he goes there to discover the rescued kids all look very similar to him, he being the culmination of the breeding program. All those kids (now young adults) have powers similar to Connor, just not as powerful. The reason Connor is stronger than expected is because Campagna is his mother.

Satan's zombie body is a dead version of one of the past generation of kids from the program, whose DNA Satan forced into Campagna's body for the birth of the Antichrist. Satan is unaware of how powerful Connor is as a result of being Campagna's son.

The problem with the breeding program is that it eventually runs into a dead end, when the last few batches of kids turn out to be increasingly sterile. Satan's zombie body was created long before the batch of sterile kids, so he can still reproduce using his assumed body.

Connor tells his predecessors from the breeding program the truth about what Satan had been doing with them, and asks for them to fight for him, which they agree to do. The end result is that a batch of super powered young adults become Connor's human army in the battle.

There are some issues with making this work and simplifying the details, but it could be a great way to give Connor an interesting ancestry and a cool fighting force for the final battle, all relatives of Connor through Satan's zombie DNA. And it should be a great addition to the plot. These kids all underwent rigorous training before Satan ordered them destroyed, including knife and sword fighting. Handy, huh? Connor also undergoes similar training in preparation for the battle, probably overseen by Michael the Archangel, an ancient friend of Adam's. Connor is a natural at this, in part because of his enhanced intelligence, strength, and speed and in part because all his ancestors were bred to be good fighters.

I'll have to come up with a reason why Campagna's DNA makes Connor so powerful. Perhaps it's just random luck involving the DNA, although I'd prefer a better explanation. TBD.

The breeding program might completely eliminate the need to have a geneticist in the story. Not sure yet.

A little more detail:

If I click on the link inside the TNBW email I receive following another member's newest posted chapter, I get this from Bitdefender on Windows 11:

Then Google Chrome intercepts it as well, yielding:

Good one, but it's for the other story. I went with Julius Caesar. The WW2 quote is too far off topic.
The other one is a variant of the elite quote: as easily as spotting the Imperial elite in Rome, fat capital of the Imperium. Of course, that one's a little rude and long. Caesar will probably win by default.

Of course it's insulting. The book makes all kinds of insane commentary about modern society.
I was born in Quebec. Surely they wouldn't get upset at one of their native sons?

Just a wee bit.

I typically get kicked out after about 15-20 minutes.

That's what I've always read. It makes sense really since they can't make money if the same material can be had for free. I doubt that prevents you from posting a small number of the poems on social media platforms as a teaser to build a following. One of our other members, who writes sci-fi and fantasy books, started building his social media presence in the last year or so. He has his own website, where he announces new releases of material, offers free companion stories to his novels in return for signing up to his email distribution list, and posts monthly newsletters about the writing process and his opinions of writing tools he uses. So, you could post poems that won't be available in book form. That's a win/win for you and potential publishers.

With regard to keeping your poems available for free at present, keep in mind that the internet has a long memory.   I posted a short story (fan fiction) set in the Dune universe, which I obviously can't publish for profit since I don't have any rights to do so, and discovered later that it had been nicely repackaged with a e-book cover on another site and made freely available. Cool, but thankfully, it was meant to be distributed for free (all my short stories from this site are posted here with the widest possible visibility, including the internet). I'll probably leave instructions for my executor to make my books available for free after my death as well, assuming I ever finish one.

If you ever need a good laugh, check out my (very) short story called Ms. Bunny Divine, which is itself just a teaser of one of my novels-in-progress. Currently it's only meant to attract site members to read/review the novel, but I could easily post it on the internet for free as a teaser for potential book buyers later.

Regards,
Dirk

SolN, I'm still running into many cases where I'm writing a forum post and the site logs me out, sometimes resulting in an entire long post being lost. One of our newest members and I both just got bitten by these timeouts. I know you and Kdot discussed this last year, which I believe was a cookie timeout issue (please contact Kdot for the details of what he found).

Can this be fixed? While it can be frustrating for long-term members (I sometimes inevitably forget to copy my pending post to the clipboard in case the Submit fails), it no doubt makes a poor first impression for new members who are trying to evaluate the site's stability and suitability for their needs.

Thanks
Dirk

Let me see if I can scare up a few people to answer you. The number of views can be misleading since search engines regularly index the forum content. The best way to network here is to see who has posted poems in the past six months or so (since the early October server/backup crash) and then begin reviewing their work and/or send them connection requests and ask if they'd like to trade reviews. I don't believe anyone lost their work except one or two who were using this site as the only repository of their recently written work, who shouldn't have. I personally lost recent forum posts, but I keep my manuscript(s) offline in Word. Our site admin gave everyone enough points to re-post their work if that's what they wanted.

One solution re the low site payments is to see if you can combine some of them in some logical grouping to make bigger chapters. If not, stick with posting them as individual poems, though consider prepending a number to the title of each poem and/or pick memorable poem titles (e.g., 001 - Ode to the End of the World!). Any poem titles you've already used/posted can be renamed easily enough using the site's edit functionality in case you want to prepend a number to each title.

Another option if you don't get enough feedback here is to check our sister site, Booksie.com. It's newer, with new functionality, and I'm virtually certain it supports poems there as well. Not sure how much their forums get used, though. They do not use a points system at present, so the idea is to build a network of fellow authors who give the kind of detailed feedback you're looking for, and trade ongoing reviews with them without worrying about collecting points for posting. The effort is generally the same: you post poems (for free) and develop a network of people who consistently trade reviews with you.

One way to toot your own horn is to review others and ask them in the closing comments to review your poems and that you're looking to network with authors with whom you want to trade ongoing reviews. We'll call that the hit-them-over-the-head approach, which I sometimes use too.

If other sites to which you've posted have a paywall, then it should be fine to leave them up, at least for now, although check the site's policies regarding copyrights of posted work. If necessary, add a copyright notice to each poem. TNBW does that automatically, although that doesn't stop bad actors from re-posting your work elsewhere if they gain access to it. That can happen to anyone, including famous authors, whose books are in great demand. There's no foolproof way to do it though, except stick with well-established pay sites and add copyright notices. You always have the option to self-publish, of course. Consider looking up desirable publishers and agents and ask them about their policies. It's a given these days that most authors use a pay site to help them workshop their stories before submitting them to agents or publishers.

I'm trying to figure out the best explanation for why mass-casualty weapons don't work on or near Megiddo, where Connor, De Rosa, their human armies, angels, and demons face off at the end of book three. Originally, I thought no functioning electronics whatsoever (e.g., no tanks, armored vehicles, drones, etc.). However, that still leaves both sides with pistols, grenades, shoulder-launched missiles, as well as semi and fully automatic assault rifles/machine guns. Needless to say, that's still too lethal. So, in addition to no electronics, explosives don't work either, which includes bullets. That leaves horses, swords, knives, arrows, spears, and catapults (and probably a number of things I'm forgetting).

I can either justify it as the Father not wanting mass-casualty weapons used at Megiddo, where the Lord will soon appear, or the Father wanting to prevent further mass casualty events across Earth prior to the Lord's return. The latter is a difficult argument to make since the final months, weeks, and days before the 2nd Coming are filled with (super)natural disasters. I don't recall offhand, though, if any of the "elect" (those intended to be saved) are harmed during that period, but I believe so. Of course, that depends on which denominations one talks about since a Catholic interpretation of Revelation is somewhat confusing. I don't recall at the moment what some of the events in Revelation mean from a Catholic perspective.

I know Catholics do not generally believe in a final battle against the Lord's hosts, which is why I created a different battle, primarily De Rosa vs Connor, with angels and demons joining in to protect each side's human armies. A third possibility is simply that only Old Testament weapons work at Megiddo without trying to explain why that might be the case. For some reason, modern technology has stopped working there leading up to the Lord's return.

Since I prefer not to cherry pick too much among different denominations when it comes to what Christian perspective I'll most closely follow, I'll stick primarily with Catholicism, except for some major deviations like a final battle. At the end of book one, Connor sets up the idea that he (as Christ) will try to sway all Christians toward Catholicism since it's easier to manage one denomination than it is 45,000. There will be Protestant characters in the book, but I simply don't have enough years of life left to dig deeply into Protestantism, Islam, Jews, and the many non-Abrahamic religions. :-)  Connor will use the same approach with the other religions: try to convince them that he's God and that they should follow him. Since Jesus is not God in Islam, Connor will probably topple Islamic holy places until they come around to the belief that he actually is Allah. Anyone who doesn't want to believe at that point will simply be ignored until Connor and Satan have destroyed Christ.