They're near the end of reading, and I fear the fate of yet another draft has been ascertained. Pity. I thought this one was finally headed out the door.
If I can stick to a firm One-chapter-a-day, it'll take about a month. But I really want to be working on my angel story. Choices, choices.
Omniscience can be defeated. Perfect omniscience is much harder.
Pick a different challenge. I, the Holy Spirit, will know who ultimately wins, but the Father no longer will, and he already accepted the challenge
When he accepted the challenge, he already knew the Holy Spirit would wall him off shortly after. He also knew Satan would change his pick, and he knew what the new choice would be
(Emphasis mine)
Somehow God already has the ability to do this as I noted above, even though we puny mortals aren't sure how.
...
I don't think I need anyone to explain how it's possible, just observe that God already does this.
Clarification to this: I wasn't saying it is impossible for him to do it. I was saying that the moment he does so, it means he's determined this is a successful outcome
Had you agreed back then and then now fail, you were never omniscient in the first place.
Once God agrees, he basically instantly wins (or is imperfect and failed to predict the outcome)
Now the inverse from the villain's perspective:
See, in Narnia, when the lion agrees the villain can go ahead and murder him, it's kinda ludicrous. Who would agree to be murdered?
Any villain worth his evil cackle immediately suspects something's wrong.
Alas, the witch does not, and proceeds to kill the lion, triggering the good guy's trap
You have a job interview tomorrow, and your omniscience tells you you got the job. You know if you don't get the job, you'll be shot.
Next day, you find you have blocked off memories of the outcome.
Now, you don't particularly want to get shot, so although you no longer know the outcome, you realize you wouldn't have agreed to an outcome where that was a possibility. It follows that you had agreed to it knowing back then you were going to succeed.
Had you agreed back then and then now fail, you were never omniscient in the first place.
It's the solution where God agrees to forget. The very agreement concedes success much as it does in Chronicles of Narnia I
Unfortunately, this solution creates a plot hole in a plot hole. Maybe you can just brush over it instead?
Actually, chatting with them, I can kinda see why they're using the capitals, since I'm kind of re-purposing an existing word. Unlike City/city or Village/village, niche generally can't refer to a settlement on its own. I should consider coining my own phrase.
They're capitalizing "niche" when it's used in the general.
Bob walked back to Redhill Niche. Sally parted ways, headed back to her [N](n)iche.
Just when I thought I had evicted all the capitals in general use, now my head's boiling
Things aren't going well for Laurie on the other site. They're already uncovered three nasty holes in the plot which only acrobatics will patch. Ignorance was bliss
A further passage I can think of if the above isn't a chapter-closer:
She straightened, wondering. "Will I be blessed by the power of heaven? The holy ghost?"
The boy shook his head. "The man said you'd ask. You'll need to do this do this on your own."
A sound follow-up paragraph, however this concept will raise a lot of questions about if the boy is Connor leading her. You might best do such a scene with three girls (eg MacBeth) but even then the story would need to explain how witches figure into the scheme of things. You could maybe do a Hugin Munin pair then turn around and say each was a familiar spirit to the first humans .
Just brainstorming. Don't use any of this
Making it into a dream is far more subtle.
Opinion is the HG part scales things against the bad guys too much. A few selective deletions might keeps things more balanced.
I'm just going to delete the lines so you can see what I see:
...He asked me to give you a message.”
“Which is?”
“He said to tell you, ‘The Father chooses his champions wisely.’”
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“Do you understand the message?”
She nodded. “He was talking about my son.”
The boy shook his head. “No, ma’am. He said he was talking about you.”
If I didn't write it, I believe we've discovered a clue trail to the weird log-outs
I must have written it, but not being able to remember it (same day, 12 hours later), I wonder if I intended to reply to another site and had the wrong window up (viable as I swap windows a lot). Or if I had hit send on a draft, thinking I'd refined it.
Firefox history agrees I was not on tnbw at this time, so both me and my browser do not remember this. Well, I was at work at the time, but let's pretend I had time to check in here. I'll assume this for now.
Even in a private browsing tab, the site attributes that quote to me. But I'm staring at it wonder why I would quote Hitchcock. Starting to wonder if it's confused me with someone else
mm, but the thing about them is not "scary enough" but rate, how much damage can they inflict on your life. And this feels kinda Hitchcock now that I say it
This is odd. Does anyone see the same attribution I am
mm, but the thing about them is not "scary enough" but rate, how much damage can they inflict on your life. And this feels kinda Hitchcock now that I say it
You could have the spirits look like the arrancar from Bleach. Would give them moxie
I didn't get why the spirit would look like the owner... one assumes that spirit isn't the original manufacturer model and would look like the possessor
She took a step in that direction, but hesitated, suddenly conscious of how alone she was in these areas bridging the living zones.
Here's me wasting twelve words when a simpler turn of phrase would do: She frowned, suddenly a little scared. Or better: She felt nervous.
I sometimes shorten my overlong setups, but I never swap to: Her brow furrowed. She frowned would be my pick.
Does that mean, in the example of Romano's eyebrows shooting to his hairline, that you would have him shoot them up? That would be weird.
Very much so. "Laurie raised her eyebrows" would be my preferred approach because I'm almost always character-centric looking out.
I just word-searched it and found zero cases of eyebrows moving up (or down) without the POV character's intent. I have one jaw-drop in there. I put that one in deliberately to serve as a dialogue tag / to break up another characters speech flow.
This technique may not work for you, especially in a multi-POV story so YMMV. It can also get wordy. For example, I'll avoid saying "POV character was scared" or "POV character was surprised". Instead I waste time showing the event and hope the reader infers it. Reviewers may hit certain scenes with "how did POV react?" so I know I need to put more words there or trim it all out and have a simple "scared" or "startled"
I generally avoid involuntary movements unless it brings out some important characteristic.
So we have Laurie in a suddenly crashing air plane...
True, her eyebrows shoot up. I mean she's as surprised as I am.
True, her fingers curl around the arm rests. Mine would too
Reality of her POV is staring at the ground rushing toward her. Oxygen masks dropping. Dull screams from the adjoining cabin or a steward losing his footing.
It's a question of where the camera is pointed. Are we looking out from the POV seeing where they look vs turned to stare down the POV and how they react
