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A volcano isn't an antagonist.

You can fight the effects of a volcano, but Mother Nature isn't something that can be defeated. Only contained. Kind of like trying to have the villain of a story be climate change.  If you want an antagonist, then there needs to be a person/ force obstructing Melayne from accomplishing her goal. A person from the endangered world who doesn't believe her and champions Shoran. Or a mysteriously sentient lurimont who is pregnant with eggs so Melayne can't blast her out of the sky. Or a Shoran minion that has been forcibly changed...a sorcerer child who can travel between dimensions.

That said, I consider your manuscript to be working toward a first draft. There is an author that I listened to (at the writers conference) who co-writes with another author. To maintain consistency, they write the plot first and add the characters/ conversation later. Because they are plot-driven (and not character driven writers), their work is about sweeping events that affect the MC without a chance of letting them misbehave and derailing the plot.

NJC's strength is in happenings. Not people. So he doesn't write about people. He knows what is going on behind the scenes, but he is getting the plot down first. Maybe/ possibly after that he can/ will consider adding a villain.

An example I can think of that is similar to this story is Sandra Bullock in Gravity.  She is out on a space mission and debris kills most of her crew. Space kills everyone else. She is alone...woman vs space. One could say that the enemy is an unstoppable force (space), but the MC's worst enemy is herself. She fights herself constantly throughout the story...her depression...her fear...and her despair.  Maroon Sandra Bullock on the ocean? Switch characters and that is Tom Hanks talking to a volleyball. 

NJC, What I believe K is saying, IMHO, is that you have no antagonist and you need to figure one out. If Melayne's biggest obstacle is herself, then she must fight herself while she runs around/reacts to individual events. That means going into Melayne's thoughts a LOT deeper than you have accomplished thus far. Sweeping landscapes are a forte of yours, instead of depth perception into another person's soul. It might be easier to show us what is happening with Shogran, so that we see Melayne's actions block a plot or plan of the bad guy. Or introduce a 'little bad' that Melayne can defeat as she saves the volcano/ unstable dimension.

Instead of a soap opera, where time dictates the flow and events just kind of happen as they happen, an antagonist organizes the plot and narrows the scope, making it possible to break a big chunk of material into definable littler chunks. It might change the order of events in your book, but it would give your story HFN and HFA moments.

Just thinking out loud. Where you are going (right now) is a rewrite where you delve into Melayne's motivations and fears, making her fight herself. That is the route that requires the fewest rewrites or adjustment to the plot.

And I agree on having a bad guy. At least in my work. Still trying to think how I will work that one in.

I couldn't spoil her style any more than I could force you to take a single step in any direction other than where you were headed any way. You give me far too much credit.

Just keep writing, Elisha. Put random thoughts into text and you can come back to it later. I initially started with a lot of disparate elements hanging from the plot like sausages. In the middle, I mentally wrote, "And something happens here."  Later, I filled in the spaces, and then just kept writing in continuity.

But don't use the break to stop writing. Otherwise, you might not start again. So tell us short stories about your characters and make them vignettes. They don't have to work into the plot. Just do character work.

Porn queen? Brings new meaning to the phrase, "down under".

Chemically enhanced

Modified adrenaline

Supplemented adrenaline

Big whomping juice of adrenaline

FYI, I just read "Redshirt," by Skalazi. It is sarcastic in a Dirk kinda way. Read it if you want a laugh...

Hiragana is used for Japanese names. Katakana is used to write out foreign introductions to the culture. i.e. Ko-Ko-Ko-Ra (Coca Cola)

Don Chambers

To-n Chi-a-n-bu-ru

It's close, at least

Imagine the Fellowship sailing under the massive guardians carved into the cliffs, and all Tolkien writes is, "Boromir steered the boat to the shore."

You are writing an epic fantasy, with sundered fragments of worlds and patched dimensions. Melayne is gathering the power required to save a world. Merran's story is just beginning. Kirsey is trying to keep an educational system alive, and himself as well. The bad guy is plotting and breaking an already damaged network of badly constructed interacting power nexuses (I'd say Nexi, but the damn spell-check is changing it all the time.)

You say that adding description isn't your style. I cross my eyes. You parse your words. I point out that the best chapter you've written was the statues and monument to the Sundering. As far as I'm concerned, that is where Merran's story begins. That chapter was fucking GREAT.

Am I a nag? Yes. It is a job requirement at my workplace, where I wake up grumpy doctors at 2 AM. Consider it a skill-set for me to survive in life.

Suck it up, buttercup. Your material is stronger with a mere couple more lines of description placed in the right couple of paragraphs.

I see three ships!

I'm beginning to see that Rome fell because too many of Her citizens learned to read.

Starts singing the theme for Frozen...let it go...let it go...

You've just given me incredible ammo to make you OCD all over the place...(evil grin)

I've kind of disinvested myself of the caps vs no caps business. That is what the line editor is for when I find a literary agent and get a publisher.

OCD and capitalization. Let it go...let it go...don't hold it back any more...let it go...