I love to read a good complex sentence. I hate the "watering down" we've done. Look at the result--graduating seniors who can't read. I actually like to read passages that show a writer knows how to use commas correctly, as well as those dreaded, damnable ADVERBS!
1,151 2014-11-24 22:34:09
Re: long, complex sentences and paragraphs (8 replies, posted in Literary Fiction)
1,152 2014-11-24 22:31:05
Re: In-Line Review versus Regular Review (19 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Sorry someone did that. I accept anything. The one thing I wish inline did provide would be the comment on the side rather than having to click each one--Like tracking changes in Word. Easier to access.
1,153 2014-11-24 22:26:45
Re: Love or lust? (24 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
Love this discussion.
Here is a chapter never before seen on TNBW. You won't know the background, so just give my your thoughts.
7
Poker
They sat on the bed, and Drew opened the new cards, removing the jokers.
Jana touched his hand. "Leave the jokers. If you get a joker, it's an automatic win. Five card stud, no folding."
"Why don't we just get naked?"
"That wouldn't be as much fun. This builds anticipation."
Drew shuffled and dealt. Jana looked at her cards. "I'll bet you have to take off that horribly hot coat."
"Oh, you play differently." He smirked. "Should I go directly for the dress?"
"It's your prerogative."
"In that case, I'll bet you have to let me take off your panties."
"Wait a minute."
"That's my bet."
Jana blushed. Drew's smirk became more devilish. "You're bluffing," he goaded.
She raised an eyebrow. "Read 'em and weep. Two aces."
He grinned. "Your rule. One joker."
"Did you cheat?"
"No. Never." He shook his head and put on a pout. "How could you think such a thing?"
"Liar."
"I swear."
Drew ran his hands up Jana's legs to her panties. She closed her eyes. "Hand check, buster!" she scolded as his fingers brushed her skin. "We haven't got to touching yet."
He laughed and slipped her panties off, dropping them on the floor. "What if we both have a joker?"
"Next highest card."
"What if I get both jokers?"
"You're cheating."
"Mmm. I say if one of us gets both jokers, we move directly to touching."
"All right," she agreed. "My deal."
Jana dealt. "You get the opening bet."
Drew looked at his cards. "You dealt. That dress has to go."
Jana smiled. She opened Drew's fly and slipped her hand inside.
With a slight jump, he asked, "What are you doing?"
"Your rule." She flipped her cards over. "Both jokers."
"No way. I have four aces."
"I don't think you'll need your Viagra." She sat back. "Your deal."
"Did you cheat?" he asked.
Jana smiled a Mona Lisa smile, but said nothing.
Drew exhaled. He shuffled and dealt.
Jana made a face. "I bet both your shoes."
"Must have a bad hand."
"Not necessarily. Those pants can't come off if the shoes are on. It's like chess. I'm planning my next move."
"Okay. That dress has to go."
"No joker?" she teased.
"No, damn it." He turned down the corners of his mouth.
"Show your hand. I have a flush."
"You win. A pair of fives." He kicked his shoes across the room
Jana dealt. Drew huffed. "I'm gonna get rid of that damned dress."
"Not this hand. The pants go."
"I have a pair of jacks." He laid his face cards down with a grin.
"Ah, but the ladies talk louder. Two queens."
"You're cheating!" he accused.
"Whiny baby; sore loser," she retaliated.
He slipped his slacks to the floor before he snatched the cards and dealt. Jana tilted her head back and forth. "You look miserable in that jacket."
"I am. Those petticoats must itch."
Jana laid down her pair of twos.
"Not a damned thing," snarled Drew, throwing the coat across the room to join his shoes.
Jana laughed and dealt. "Joker!" she squealed. "Take off the boxers."
Drew dropped his boxers by the bed. Jana eyed him.
"What?" asked Drew.
"Definitely above average."
"Thank you."
"Did you take the Viagra?"
"No." Drew glanced down. "I don't need it. You're doing a fine job on me."
"Stop pouting and deal."
Drew dealt. "Bet already," he growled.
"Damn! I have to take off the tie."
"The dress; three aces," he gloated
A sly smile crossed Jana's lips as she laid her cards down with exaggerated care, one at a time. "My four little twos beat that." She tipped her chin into her chest and batted her eyelashes coyly.
"Damn it! I should cheat," he grumbled.
Jana pulled the tie off Drew. "My deal," she reminded.
Drew sighed when he looked at his cards. "The dress."
"The pocket watch," she countered.
Drew laid the pocket watch on the nightstand.
He dealt.
"The vest," said Jana.
"The damned dress."
Jana won. The vest hit the floor.
Jana dealt.
Drew rolled his eyes. "The dress. I don't give up."
"The shirt," said Jana.
"Nothing, king high."
"Nothing, but I do have an ace."
"Woman!"
Jana laughed. "Shall I unbutton it?"
"Does that constitute touching?"
"I don't know, counselor. I'll do my best not to touch skin."
Drew's shirt joined the rest of his clothes. He dealt. "Joker! Joker!" taunted Jana. "Off with the socks!"
Drew dropped the socks off the bed. "Very nice," breathed Jana with anticipatory approval.
"Deal," he muttered
"Stop sulking." Jana dealt and screamed. She reached over and fondled Drew.
"Both jokers?" he groaned.
She showed them. Drew reached out and pulled her face to him and kissed her.
Jana pulled back. "You're breaking the rules. I'll allow you one infraction. Deal."
Drew shuffled the cards. "New game," he proposed.
"What?" she asked with skepticism.
"Fifty-two, no, fifty-four card pick up." He threw the cards into the air and pulled Jana to him, falling back as the cards showered them.
He fought with the buttons on the dress. "Oh, turn around," he moaned in frustration.
As Drew unbuttoned the dress, Jana doffed the shoes. Drew slid the dress to the floor. He kissed her neck and caressed her breasts. He rolled her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers.
"Oh," breathed Jana.
He ran his right hand down her side and glided fingers into her.
"Stop, Drew," Jana said in a whisper.
"No," he barely breathed.
"For a minute. Please?"
Drew stopped. Jana opened her case and took out a small pink compact. Drew smiled and nodded. She quickly inserted her diaphragm. Drew kissed her again. "Do you want me to wear a condom, too?" he asked. "I'm clean."
"I know you are. Me, too. I'm scared, but I want to feel you. Don't wear one."
Drew picked up with his fingers. "You're so tight," he murmured.
"It's been a long time."
"Tell me to stop if I hurt you. Like you said, I'm above average."
Drew started into her. "Oh." Jana tensed. She tightened her grip on his shoulders.
"Relax," he coaxed.
"It hurts," she said with a catch in her voice.
"Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
Drew pulled out. His mouth found her breasts before he kissed and nibbled down her torso. Her breath came gasps. His tongue probed her until she groaned. Then, he slid inside her after a couple of thrusts.
"Oh," Jana moaned and dug her nails into Drew's back.
"Okay?"
"Better than okay. Mmm."
They found their rhythm and erupted as Jana bit Drew's shoulder. "Oh, my God!" she mumbled into his flesh. "Oh, my God!"
Drew nibbled her neck and ear. "Amazing. Oh, my God! You felt like a virgin. Did I hurt you?"
"No. It was wonderful. Do it again. It's a tie. We both have royal flushes."
"Low hand wins," he argued. "I'm holding onto the queen of hearts."
She laughed slightly. "Woe is me. I 'Drew' the joker."
Drew laughed in her ear and began a perfect rhythm. He had no need for his prescription.
1,154 2014-11-24 22:12:34
Re: Problems with review points? (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I hadn't noticed. I'll check next time.
1,155 2014-11-22 05:21:19
Re: Shelving, what does it mean to you? (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I've done 1 & 3.
1,156 2014-11-21 23:23:36
Topic: my new piece in an anthology (0 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I will have a piece in this book about Kathy Thibodeaux.
Dear Writers and Biographees,
GCWA newest anthology, "Mississippi Profiles" will be available January 7th, and now ready for pre-sales. Authors will receive payment and one free copy as soon as they arrive. They retail for $15, with wholesale and author copies available for $7. I plan to schedule book signings for January at the Biloxi Visitors Center and the USM (Long Beach) Library for authors to attend, sign, and purchase the multiple signed copies.
Meanwhile, please promote the book at your local bookstores and Facebook, etc.
http://gcwriters.org/anthology2014.html
1,157 2014-11-21 03:07:13
Topic: Love or lust? (24 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
Let's discuss romance writing. Merits of implied sex vs explicit sex. Which to you prefer? Which do you write. I do not write strictly romance, but all my writing has romantic elements.
1,158 2014-11-21 00:04:07
Re: IMO: What's the best cop movie you ever saw? Was it realistic? (14 replies, posted in Cop Shop)
Okay, I didn't comment on realism. More so than action flicks. Action flicks are fun. They are not meant to be realistic.
1,159 2014-11-21 00:01:49
Re: IMO: What's the best cop movie you ever saw? Was it realistic? (14 replies, posted in Cop Shop)
Heat and No Country for Old Men
1,160 2014-11-20 04:04:19
Re: Another question about groups (35 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Basic)
My question was if Free & Premium count as part of the five groups? I was hoping not b/c I'd like to be a part of the romance group as well. And maybe adult fantasy. I may not post for review any private groups. I'd like to see those for discussion and information dissemination on that genre.
1,161 2014-11-20 00:48:10
Re: review notification won't go away (3 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Me too Michelle.
1,162 2014-11-20 00:46:58
Topic: 5 groups? (0 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Do those five groups include free & premium or is that 5 private groups?
1,163 2014-11-19 19:36:51
Re: Fast and easy publishing? (10 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Createspace! Nuff said.
1,164 2014-11-19 19:35:46
Re: Boston Dialect. (8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Ask Linda Lee. She sets lots of stuff in Boston. All I can think of is using the "ah" sound for "ar." Cah instead of car. That kind of thing. She does a mean Irish brogue in print, so ask.
1,165 2014-11-19 15:03:59
Topic: Finally a home for my hillbillies. (3 replies, posted in Literary Fiction)
Okay. Thanks for that definition of literary fiction! I never knew exactly what it was. I really believe this is where my hillbilly stories belong. Thanks for the invite, Max!
If anyone in the group would like to read them, three are on site: Mountain Moonshine, Gator Aid, and For Richter or Poorer (My fav, but don't tell the others.) Homegrown Healer has been pulled and submitted to the Faulkner Competition where it was a semifinalist.
1,166 2014-11-16 21:56:04
Re: Question about new points charges for edits (30 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Just let me know what to expect. I won't edit until I get some kind of notification.
1,167 2014-11-16 06:41:09
Re: Question about new points charges for edits (30 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Wow! I always liked being able to edit without using points. I guess that's out. Glad I found this thread. I began to think I was nuts. Funny thing is when I edited without reposting, reviewers could not re-read. If I am charged points for editing, then reviewers should be able to read that updated chapter and get points again. And I guess some folks might have cheated, but adding a sentence or rearranging paragraphs is not cheating. Just seems the principle of being able to get feedback and then apply that is being weakened. I was going back through Broken and applying many of the suggestions I had received without knowing I was now being charged points for the editing. Word count rarely changed more than 50 total words per chapter and often the chapters were shortened. I guess since I'm posting a brand new piece, I'll refrain from posting the edits. And on Broken somehow two chapters have traded places. That's odd. Yep, I was charged points for simply trying to renumber the chapters--make 15, 16 & vice versa.
1,168 2014-11-16 06:28:28
Re: Romance Group - Expressions of Interest (6 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
I'd join your group. I just worry like Linda Lee that all these groups might turn some away, especially if it take points to post to the group. I want more than just "romance" writers to read my stuff. Like Karin, my stuff is not strictly romance, but it all has a strong romantic element. I'd like to start a group that's cross-genre, but I guess that's already the Premium. I'm thinking groups should be for discussion about elements of the genre rather than specific postings. Just my thoughts.
1,169 2014-11-15 23:45:32
Topic: confusion on points. (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
You don't have enough points to update this chapter! Your current balance is 0.59 and you need 0.73 points!<<This is the message I receive when I go in and simply edit. Do we now have to have points to edit? I ask also again--If we post to the premium group and a private group that uses points do we have to double post and use double points? I'm a bit confused. I THINK my edits are going through, but don't know for sure.
1,170 2014-11-15 23:42:18
Re: Loss of reviewing points (1 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Yeah, it's because if you leave you have sign back in.
I'm also receiving messages when just editing that I don't have enough points to update the chapter. Do we now have to have points to edit already posted pieces?
1,171 2014-11-15 23:40:14
Re: Member Annoucment (9 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Can't wait to read them
1,172 2014-11-15 04:53:57
Re: Portfolio list (1 replies, posted in Thriller/Mystery/Suspense)
I just noticed that. Novels are active b/c I've gotten reviews.
1,173 2014-11-15 04:52:35
Topic: points for posting in groups (5 replies, posted in Thriller/Mystery/Suspense)
Just a question. If we post in a group that takes points for posting, do we have to double post in the group and in the premium/free group and does it take double points?
1,174 2014-11-13 05:02:50
Re: Welcome (11 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Basic)
Thanks for all your hard work. I look forward to learning to navigate and continue with my TNBW family!