TheNextBigWriter Premium → Addressing other characters?
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I have many cases in my book where a character addresses another by name. Below, Joseph addresses God. In the second line, do I need to mention 'God said'? Seems obvious who is responding. Obviously, if someone butted into the conversation at that point, I would need a dialogue tag.
"Help her, Lord," Joseph pleaded.
"Her time has come, Joseph," God said. "Have faith."
Thanks
Dirk
That particular scene has Paul in it, so I'm tempted to say "yes"
My issue is with 'Joseph pleaded'. Let the dialogue do the pleading. Let the speaker tag just say 'said'.
As for the second line, I might do an action instead: God was silent for a moment. "Her time has come, Joseph. Have faith."
Or it could be, "sayeth the Lord" for variety or Biblical familiarity, depending upon other context. Take care. Vern
That particular scene has Paul in it, so I'm tempted to say "yes"
I used "" here to avoid confusion, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. The dialogue with God is in italics, using mind speech. I took out the tag. See what you think.
My issue is with 'Joseph pleaded'. Let the dialogue do the pleading. Let the speaker tag just say 'said'.
As for the second line, I might do an action instead: God was silent for a moment. "Her time has come, Joseph. Have faith."
Relying solely on said probably means using an exclamation mark in the dialogue. I got schooled for too many of those recently. I took advantage of the italics of mind speech to eliminate God said, although I like that God was silent for a moment. I'll add that in.
I like the God said in there because of the rhythm. It kind of reads like a dramatic pause before "Have faith."
Seabrass wrote:My issue is with 'Joseph pleaded'. Let the dialogue do the pleading. Let the speaker tag just say 'said'.
As for the second line, I might do an action instead: God was silent for a moment. "Her time has come, Joseph. Have faith."
Relying solely on said probably means using an exclamation mark in the dialogue. I got schooled for too many of those recently. I took advantage of the italics of mind speech to eliminate God said, although I like that God was silent for a moment. I'll add that in.
It seems to me that using italics would be more confusing since it is for "thoughts" and if Joseph is "hearing" the "thoughts" then they are actually "spoken" words rather than real thoughts. Does God have inner thoughts, don't know, but if so, how would you denote them, and if not, why would He have "thoughts" merely for someone to hear. What would distinguish that from speaking? Just some random thoughts -- written out. Take care. Vern
All mindspeech in the book between Joseph/Apollo and the various entities in their minds (God, dead relatives, etc.) is done in italics. I rarely use italics for anything else, except for occasional emphasis of a word or two. I tried various ways to do mindspeech when I started in 2012 and italics was easiest to read.
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TheNextBigWriter Premium → Addressing other characters?
