Chief watched as his youngest climbed the stairs to her room. Then he turned, opened the closet, removed his jacket and hung it on a hanger.
He saw the den lights were on and knew he would find his family in there. He also knew he owed them an explanation. But how do you tell them the danger is not over? The news was bound to be splashed all over the papers in the morning. He wanted more facts. He wasn’t especially sure that there was cause for alarm. The fugitive may be re-captured tonight for all he knew. Or was that wishful thinking?
He walked down the hallway to the back room. Elly was seated on the couch next to Maggy. Maggy had a sketchbook opened on the glass table and was sketching out dress ideas for the wedding party, as well as the bride’s dress, with Elly offering input. Joe sat in one of the leather chairs, indian style, reading the Post. They all looked up when he entered the room.
No word was spoken as he hung his hat on the rack. Nor was a sound uttered as he liberated his pipe from its stand and snatched the tobacco pouch nearby. Chief filled his pipe while still standing in front of the fireplace. He also lit it while standing. He drew in a long breath of cherry smoke then bent down, pipe secured between his teeth, and stoked the fire. Utter silence.
They waited for Chief to cross the room and settle in his favorite chair across from the fire.
Then. “Chief,” Maggy ventured. “Would you like to see what we’ve come up with so far?”
Chief nodded. Maggy brought the lists over to her father. He let her explain the purposes of the different columns, but his mind was far away. He glanced at Elly. She seemed to be elsewhere, also. Joe folded down his newspaper and stared at his father. The tension in the room was palatable.
“You gonna tell us?” Joe asked.
Chief turned to his son. “Tell you what?”
Both Maggy and Elly stared at the boy.
“What the phone call was all about?”
“Joe,” broke in Elly. “You’re father will tell you when he’s ready.”
“I’m with Joe,” Maggy said. All eyes in the room focused on her. “I mean...” she stalled, then regained her momentum, “It seems to me that it affects us. You are putting a hold on the wedding; you’re walking around looking crazy. I think we have a right to know what we’re in for.” Maggy took a deep breath. Then she looked at her father and her expression sharpened. “You know, you can protect someone to death. If there’s something going on, we should know.”
Chief looked at her… then at Joe and finally at Elly. He drew in a deep breath of pipe smoke and let it out slowly. Stalling. He knew he was. But how do you say—?
“All right,” he conceded. He looked at them and rose from his chair and paced the room. From in front of the fire he said, “I really don’t know what to say. I found out this evening that I don’t have control of this whole imperfect world, not even my little corner of it. And I’m finding out how much that stinks.” He drew on his pipe and glanced at Elly. “El, I’m sorry about our plans. I know you had your heart set on the end of April. I just don’t know if this matter will be cleared up by then.”
“What matter?” Maggy asked.
Chief looked at his daughter briefly before returning to Elly. “Fred Blackney escaped at five-forty-five this evening. He took out two guards in the escape.”
Elly gasped. “What?”
“They tracked him with the hounds until seven-thirty this evening,” Chief paused to draw on his pipe. The smoke was calming. Allowing him to get through the narration. But he knew after this smoke, the bourbon was next. “But they lost him. In the woods...Fred knows hounds...he’s tracked with me. He can loose dogs easily given the opportunity. He can even play them.... Hell he’s more at home in the woods than some wild animals.”
Elly’s face drained of its color. She stood from the couch and made her way over to Chief. The embrace was for strength. She understood the look in his eyes now.
“Is he coming for Kelly?” Joe asked from his chair. The question regained the adults' attention. “Is he?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”
“But you think he might. He tried before.”
“I hope he isn’t that crazy, son. I just don’t want to take any chances.” He turned to Elly. “You see now why I need to postpone the wedding. I can’t leave my daughter. I need to be here to catch that maniac. I need to be focused.”
“Yes,” whispered Elly. “Of course I understand.”
“Well I don’t understand.”
Everybody turned to look at Maggy who was still seated on the couch. “I don’t see why you should let that...that crazy son-of-a-bitch control your life-”
“Maggy, how the hell can--”
“Chief, hear me out,” Maggy declared clipping Chief’s protest. “First, focus all your energies on the case. Miss Elly and I are quite capable of handling everything that has to do with the wedding. We’ll go on with the wedding as planned, and postpone the honeymoon until he’s caught.”
Chief and Elly looked at each other. Then Chief turned to his daughter.
“Chief,” Maggy continued. “Don’t you see? You two should at least be together. If nothing else, think about Kelly. There would be an extra person here to watch over her.”
“She’s right,” said Elly softly.
“I know,” retorted Chief. “Isn’t it aggravating?”
Elly smiled up at him. “Not in this instance.”
He smiled a tired smile back. “Are you sure?” he asked her after a long pause. “It seems all I can offer you is a lot of trouble.”
“I told you before I was looking forward to Trouble.”
They both smiled at that.
“All right, Maggy. Date those suckers and get them in the mail,” Chief said to his daughter. Then he looked at Elly. “I need a drink. Care to join me?”
Elly nodded. “I guess I could use a drink.”
Chief left his bride’s side and headed to the kitchen. “Maggy,” he said over his shoulder. “Would you like to join us?”
Maggy smiled at her father. It was nice being treated as an adult. “Thank you, Chief. Sure. I’ll join you.”
Chief left the room to retrieve the bourbon from the cabinet above the icebox. On a tray he set the bourbon, ice bucket, four glasses and a bottle of Coca-Cola for Joe. He returned to the den and set the tray on the glass table. He poured three bourbons and one cola and passed them out. There was little reason for a toast so they drank without one.
Chief sank into his chair holding his drink. What next? He drank slowly. The women, for lack of anything more cheerful to talk about, returned to the wedding plans. It was easier with a definite date. But Chief no longer heard them. His thoughts trailed to the prison break. He started planning ways to find and recapture Blackney.
He was on his second drink when he heard his child scream. He looked up. Joe who had fallen asleep beneath the paper, bolted upright. Maggy and Elly both turned towards the hallway.
Chief was out of his chair and at the bottom of the stairs before the second scream. He dashed up the steps and into his daughter’s room. The rest of his family was close behind him. Chief planted himself next to Kelly on her bed. Hoove had vacated the premises after the first scream ripped him awake.
“Kelly,” Chief whispered. His daughter was covered with sweat. Her hair was matted flat against her brow. She was shaking from terror. Blankets and nightgown were twisted tightly around her neck. He freed her as he attempted to wake her.
“Kelly, baby,” he whispered again, trying not to terrorize her further.
“Chief!” she screamed in reply. “The tiger! It’s too bloody. Chief, help me!” She began rocking violently back and forth, the dream gripping her more securely than before.
Chief shot a look at his fiancée at the mention of the tiger. How the hell did she know?
“Kelly, honey. It’s a dream.” He couldn’t be sure she heard him. Yet he didn’t want to shout at a terrified child. He brushed her hair from her face. “Kelly, honey. Wake up–”
“Stop it!” she shouted. Her eyes flew open, but focused on nothing in the room. She sat upright. “You’re killing him!” she screamed, this time hysteria controlled heras she flogged the air.
“Kelly!” Chief shouted, this time attempting to get her attention.
She appeared to look at him, but her eyes were unfocused. “Chief!” she screamed in his face. “Stop the tiger! He’s killing Hoove!”
The terror grew and still Chief failed to wake his daughter; failed to reclaim her from the Dead Place. He fought the dream, attempting to gently shake her awake. But then her screams pierced the darkness of the room with an indescribable violence. She shook. Not trembling in terror, but shaking violently, whipping from side to side. Chief grabbed her by the shoulders. He pushed her down into the bed. Held her down to keep her from thrashing.
“Stop it! Don’t touch!”
The words broke his heart. He knew well what they meant. She had said them before, months before when reliving the terror of her first encounter with the tiger.
“Kelly! Listen to me! There is no tiger. It’s a dream, baby. Just a dream.”
Kelly’s expression became blank. Was she inside? Was it the Dead Place? Whether actual or not, all it took was her belief in it. Wasn’t that what the doctor said?
“Kelly,” Chief whispered. “Look at me. Please, baby.”
No reaction.
“Kelly, you said you trusted me. Trust me now. Look at me!”
She turned in his hands. Tears crept into her eyes as she focused on her father. “It killed Hoove,” she whispered. “It killed him, Chief.”
“No, pumpkin. It was a dream. Just a dream.” He turned to Joe. Joe understood and left to find the dog.
“Kelly, Hoover’s all right. Joe went to get him.”
“Joe can’t Daddy. He’s dead. I saw. The tiger got him. He tried to save me- but then the tiger bit his...” Kelly swallowed sharply. “It bit- bit his head off-”
“No he didn’t,” Joe said from behind Chief. “He’s right here, Kel.”
Joe led the pup back into the room. Hoover noticed all was quiet and ran into the room and jumped onto the bed. Once there he curled up at his master’s feet.
Kelly looked at her dog. She wiped her eyes and looked again. Then she turned to her father. “I saw.”
“It was a dream, honey. Just a bad dream.”
“But it was so real, Chief. I tripped and it got me. The tiger got out. He killed people doing it too. It already had blood on its claws and in its teeth it had... meat. I saw. It’s out Chief.”
Chief looked at the floor. How the hell did she know? He heard Maggy’s words in his head, You can protect someone to death. Was it true? He turned to his youngest. She was shook something fierce. He noticed how frail she looked. How pale and terribly frightened she was. He turned to the others. They, too, looked frightened.
“Excuse us,” he asked and they nodded, closing the door as they went.
“Kelly, pumpkin, sit up.”
Chief waited for her to do so. Kelly sat leaning against the headrest of her bed.
“What makes you think the tiger is free?” he asked her.
“I just know it. I feel it.” Kelly’s eyes were wide and blue. The earlier tears were drying on her cheeks.
Chief sighed heavily. Telling the others was difficult– but this was going to test his strength.
“Kelly,” he said softly. She turned to look at him. “I need to tell you something. But I don’t want you to worry. I want you to know that above all else, you are safe.”
“I know, Daddy. I know you’ll be there. When it counts I mean. But you need to believe me. I saw it.”
“I know, honey. And you are right.” Chief looked at his daughter. She was still shivering. This time he was sure it was the cold and not the fright.
Chief stood after reassuring her. He crossed the room to her dresser and retrieved a fresh flannel nightgown. He helped her out of the old one and into the dry one.
“You going to be okay?” Chief asked her.
“Yessir,” was his answer, but he knew better.
“Honey, there is something I need to tell you. But I just don’t have the words.”
“It’s that bad?”
“Yes, pumpkin. It is that bad.”
Nothing prepared Chief Broden for what his daughter said next.
“Uncle Fred broke jail, didn’t he?”
Chief looked into the blue eyes. Deep in fear, but despite the fear he saw his daughter’s inner strength. It went beyond normal endurance. Her trust in him was also unnatural. It tore her free of terror. It went deep. For her sake, was it too deep? How did he expect to protect her?
“Yes,” he choked on the word.
“It’s all right, Chief. Please don’t feel so badly. It wasn’t your fault. It…well, it was supposed to be this way.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You can’t cage a tiger for very long. They get free. Especially if…”
“Especially if?”
“Don’t you see? He had help. From the bird, I mean. The bird helped him.”
“Kelly,” he said, and waited for her attention to him returned. “Listen to me, please.” He stopped. Stalled. What was it he wanted to say? He must say it in her terms. “Kelly, things shape people- environment, genetics...you know about genetics?”
She nodded.
Chief continued. “These things shape a person. Few of us are born to ourselves. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir. I think so. It’s like the Dead Place. It holds me...moves in and takes over ‘till I have no abilities. I know what’s gonna happen, but I see myself goin’ up to the Preacher to ask the way out, knowin’ he don’t know. The Dead Place has me all right. I guess I was born to it.”
Chief stared at her for endless moments. Slight terror touched his sense of control... threatening his sense of reality. “That’s not it at all, pumpkin,” he stated quietly. “Honey, nothing holds you to this place you call the Dead Place. That’s just a label you put on your experiences at the depot. Please believe me, you were not born to this kind of terror. No one is.” Chief thought. He needed to bring the situation home for her. Give her the ability to assess the situation for what it really was. Carve out the supernatural. Give her the ability to deal with things on a level closer to reality.
“Kelly,” he started, “what would happen to a person who was raised throughout their childhood without the care and understanding of a loving parent; who spent their childhood being beaten by those who are supposed to love them no matter what. That unconditional love that exists between a parent and child was absent. All they knew was pain and loneliness?”
“They’d have to protect themselves. Build a wall between the hurt and themselves. Find the love somewhere–or... learn to live without it. Chief I can’t think of not having someone who cares. Not having you.”
“I can’t imagine life without you, pumpkin. But you see what I’m getting at? I don’t believe in pure evil. Or pure good for that matter. Life to me is an incredible array of gray. If all you know is evil, chances are, you relate to that evil. You become that evil. That is Uncle Fred. He’s no tiger. Just a man caught up in the evil practices and the abuses of his parents. By the time he was free of them, it was too late. I’m afraid the very act that did free him from them, may have been the one that cost him his sanity. I don’t think he had a clue as to what was right and what was wrong, honey. Something inside him snapped. There is no tiger. No bird. Just the horror of Uncle Fred’s past that produced the tiger you sense in him.”
“So he did get out?”
“Yes. He did.”
“Chief, I’m scared. He’s comin’ for me.”
Chief regarded his daughter. Then he leaned over and pulled her close. He hugged her. “I’m scared too,” he whispered. “There’s no way I can hide the truth from you. But I want you to fear a man, honey- not a tiger. And I promise I will catch him. No harm will come to you. I promise.”
“I know, Daddy,” she told him, “I love you too.”
Chief held her close for many minutes. Then he looked at her. He felt so tired. “How about some hot chocolate?”
Chief wrapped a blanket securely around his daughter and carried her down the stairs into the kitchen where they were met by the hopeful expressions of the others.
“I already put the milk on,” Elly said softly. “It will be ready in a few minutes.”
“Thank you,” Chief said and lowered Kelly into an empty chair.
“Are you all right, now, honey?” Elly asked the child.
Kelly nodded, but her eyes still held their fear.
The milk came to a boil on the stove and Chief retrieved it from the burner. He poured Kelly a mug.
“Anyone else?” he asked. “Joe? Maggy?”
They all agreed to join Kelly for a mug of chocolate in the den by the fire. Kelly sat on the sofa next to her father. She leaned into him for the added warmth and security. Hoove curled up on the floor by the fire. Chief noticed the extra attention Kelly paid to the dog. The family shared the fire until ten-thirty when Elly had to excuse herself to return across the street. Joe, who had fallen asleep earlier, also chose to go up to bed. Maggy straightened the den, then, she too, vanished up the stairs.
© Copyright 2025 C J Driftwood. All rights reserved.
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Hi C J Driftwood – 0n to Chapter 2.
I have a clear picture of “Chief” and quite like him.
Chief watched as his youngest climbed the stairs to her room. Then he turned, opened the closet, removed his jacket and hung it on a hanger.
Nice lead in to this: “The fugitive may be re-captured tonight for all he knew. Or was that wishful thinking?
Another nice feel: “Chief filled his pipe while still standing in front of the fireplace. He also lit it while standing. He drew in a long breath of cherry smoke then bent down..
Then. “Chief,” Maggy ventured. “Would you like to see what we’ve come up with so far?”
Good roll: “You gonna tell us?” Joe asked. Chief turned to his son. “Tell you what?” Both Maggy and Elly stared at the boy. “What the phone call was all about?”
“Joe,” broke in Elly. “You’re father will tell you when he’s ready.”
Chief looked at her… then at Joe and finally at Elly. He drew in a deep breath of pipe smoke and let it out slowly. Stalling. He knew he was. But how do you say—?
And the shit hits the fan, so to speak: “Chief looked at his daughter briefly before returning to Elly. “Fred Blackney escaped at five-forty-five this evening. He took out two guards in the escape.”
Elly’s face drained of its color. She stood from the couch and made her way over to Chief. The embrace was for strength. She understood the look in his eyes now.
Another good roll: “Is he coming for Kelly?” Joe asked from his chair. The question regained the adults' attention. “Is he?” “I don’t know. I don’t know anything.” “But you think he might. He tried before.”
Comment: Overall this is a tight, clear and precise chapter. I like it. I need to go in and take a look at how this Revens Curse is set up. I have a feeling there are no credits given to reviewers, that might be why it is not being read as much as it should.
You are a fine, fine writer and I hope you continue with RAVENS CURSE.
Irene – posting INCREDULOUS JOURNEY
Hi Irene.
Thank you for your encouraging comments. This is the sequel to Into the Fog, still posted. It started out strong with comments but I think the length scared some reviewers off. Maybe this one isn't taking off because it is a sequel?
I'm still trying to figure out all the ins and outs of the new website set up. So maybe I'm not doing something right. Have not figured out where the blog links are.
I'm going to stop over and visit your Incredulous Journey, though.
:)
Take care,
CJ
~~No word was spoken as he hung his hat on the rack. Nor was a sound uttered as he liberated his pipe from its stand and snatched the tobacco pouch nearby. Chief filled his pipe while still standing in front of the fireplace. He also lit it while standing. He drew in a long breath of cherry smoke then bent down, pipe secured between his teeth, and stoked the fire. Utter silence. (Why so much detail on him lighting a pipe in silence?)
~~Then.(You don't need "THEN", it's redundant.)
~~But how do you say—? (Is he trailing off in thought here? If he is, it should be an ellipsis ... Because I don't think he's being interrupted.)
~~“But they lost him. In the woods...Fred knows hounds...he’s tracked with me. (But they lost him. In the woods--Fred knows hounds--he’s tracked with me.)
~~He can loose dogs easily given the opportunity. He can even play them....(Again, it doesn't sound like he's trailing off here. Perhaps a period?)
~~“You’re killing him!” she screamed, this time hysteria controlled heras(her as) she flogged the air.
~~It’s out(,) Chief.”
~~I'm a bit confused because I didn't read book one. You might want to explain more about each creature (briefly).
~~Slight terror touched his sense of control...(,) threatening his sense of reality.
Great chapter.
Hey Clarissa,
Thank you for the review. So much detail involved with the "ceremony" of lighting the pipe was designed to slow down the action and set the tone of the scene as somber and contemplative. I was hoping the reader could feel the quiet through the simple acts. This was in the hopes that once Kelly starts screaming the action during that half of the chapter feels frantic.
Which creatures are you confused about? The tiger? Chapter 4 will give a complete rundown on the tiger, who he is, what he is. It's hard to broach that subject here, even briefly, because it is complicated. The "tiger" is Fred Blackney, the escaped killer- he shows up in Kelly's dreams as a "tiger" because she sees him for what he really is.
I think explaining that Hoove is her pet hound might help with some of the confusion, but I can't think of a good way to explain the tiger until Chief gets the complete rundown by the prison psychologist.
I'm really glad you are reviewing and bringing up these issues. Let me know if things clear up for you in Chapter 4 (if you stick around that long, which I hope you do.)
Thanks again,
CJ
-The Raven's Curse- I don't think this title is as strong as the title of your first book. The Raven, it seems to me, is -animating- the danger. It's not simply a curse brought down by the Raven on the ultimate victims. Unless the Tiger -is- the curse. Something, maybe, about Raven and Tiger?
As I wrote on the last chapter, I would not go halfway into the chapter before I rejoined with Kelly. But if I did, I would make it a sharper break, and maybe use a sharper scene break from the tense peace of the kitchen, danger beyond arm's length, to Kelly's direct exposure to the peril.
These things are, in a sense, artifice and set-dressing, and maybe they shouldn't be neede. I'm more comfortable with them, though.
As always, IMO and YMMVary.
((Hoove had vacated the premises after the first scream ripped him awake.)) Is he quivering down the hallway? Is he outside on the stair? Did they pass him on the way?
You give us a bit of capsule history for his absence, at a point where we--I--want to drive forward. He's not there, he's quiverring in the hall, those things are in the present. That he left before, that's history, when I want to be in the moment.
IMO. YMMV.
((His daughter was covered with sweat. Her hair was matted flat against her brow. She was shaking from terror.)) Have you tried these sentences in different orders?
((Chief shot a look at his fiancée)) This has been established only obliquely, I think, at least in this volume. I'd suggest two solid exchanges where you use both her name and this 'title', before this scene, or one such exchange here, even if it's just a reaction to this look.
((The terror grew and still Chief failed to wake his daughter)) Terror where, or for whom? Kelly is in the 'nightmare' and experiencing it. We're outside, and must judge by her reactions. Or maybe even by the emotional impact that it has on the others in the room, just as it has had an effect on Hoover.
((“I know, honey. And you are right.” Chief looked at his daughter. She was still shivering. This time he was sure it was the cold and not the fright.)) You have him saying, 'you are right' here, but the discussion is restarted down below.
((Her trust in him was also unnatural. It tore her free of terror. It went deep. For her sake, was it too deep? How did he expect to protect her? )) Unnatural, or just dangerous?
I don't know, I just don't. If I were in the Chief's position, and my daughter's dreams were predicting reality, I'd listen more carefully. Whether it's supernatural or something she's reading from the world around her without knowing it, it ought to be important.
And I hope you develop that thread, maybe swing back and forth on it, yes, no, yes, no, several times.
But the structural stuff is the biggest part, at least for me.
Hey njc,
All very good suggestions and points. I'm liking the idea of restructuring more and more.
Chief's biggest character flaw is he is too deeply grounded in reality- always looking for a plausible explanation. It's the one constant of his personality that gets tested through the series as the supernatural becomes more obvious and his reality takes a nose dive.
About the title- I got a lot of flack for Into the Fog, Dawn of the Tiger, for it being too long. This novel- when I get ready to release will be: Into the Fog, the Raven's Curse. The raven is the symbol, as well as familiar to a cult in the area. This won't come up until the end- but it will be hinted at. The cult is Blackney's true motivation. They brought the beast up within him (he decided it was a tiger) that is showing itself as a split personality disorder. So, to answer the question, yes, the tiger is the Raven's curse- bred to bring them blood (the men killed at the depot in the last novel) and Kelly in this one.
Initially they were one very long novel- I split it in two for obvious reasons. So there are going to be many areas I'll need to shore up for new readers- without bogging it down for readers who read the first book.
Really appreciate your time and effort. You've given me a lot to think about.
Take care,
CJ
So it is a psychic dream, I'm guessing Kelly is eight years old, should know her age by now though, kids are psychic up to about that age. So the details are important and the dream shouldn't be abbreviated. So you need to have the Chief sneak in the back door, look for Kelly, now that we know what this about before he meets the rest of the family .His first concern should be Kelly.
Hi Norm,
Kelly is ten. And the dream is both premonition, as well as visions of the past.
I've had several reviewers comment that I need some sort of blurb or paragraph at the beginning of chapter 1 to set the scene and remind readers who is who, and am planning to do that.
This novel is part two of the series- it and the previous one I posted were initially one book that I cut in two due to the length. There are at least 3 plot arcs that weave throughout the entire series.
I don't see why Chief would come in through the back door- its still early and he bumps into her when he first enters the house. Also- the Police Station is just across the street- so going through the front door would be the fastest way to check on her.
Thank you for the review, looking forward to your comments,
CJ
Hi CJ:
Told you I would go to Chapter Two immediately. What a great chapter. Chief has got his hands full, doesn't he? The Chapter had good flow but there was one word out of that whole accumulation of words that jumped out at me and made me say "What?"
By now I am sure somebody else has already told you, but in case they haven't, it is the last word of paragraph seven. You have "Palatable." . I think, based on the tone of the paragraph, palpable would work much better there.
Sorry about not doing an in-line review... I am not brave enough to venture there yet.
Hope this is helpful.
Best regards,
Wyatt
kyla