The Night of the Vampire
It is Dusk
The sun begins to fade
The Vampire Rises
Lifting his darkened shades
As he dresses by candlelight
He thinks of his victims
From long ago nights
Tonight, another victim
One of intrigue, death
And Death
He walks the streets alone
In search of the warm flowing river
One more victim
Before going home
He finds his last victim of the night
So sweet, so young, so innocent
An excellent choice
A beautiful sight
The kiss of death begins
Visions flash
Of this one’s past
And of untold sins
Rec
The kiss must end
As must the night
The sun ascends
Recalling a frightening sight
It is dawn
Sending the Vampire, back into the dark
Where he lies dreaming of his next victim
In Anywhere Park
© Copyright 2025 Victoria Dark. All rights reserved.
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That vampire is very mysterious stalking the nights for victims. I can see everything taking place exactly the way it's written. I see myself reading this peom over a thousand times over with enjoyment losing myself in it.I would on the look out for him to make sure he don't get me.
Author
Reply
You never know where a vampire may be lurking. Thanks alot.
A lot to like here: ????
It is dusk. The sun begins to shade.
He walks the streets alone. In search of the/a warm flowing river/stream.
One more victim before going home.
The kiss must end as must the night. The sun ascends/a frightening sight
Tonight, another victim.One of intrigue, death, and Death. (This sounds off, repeating death.)
He finds his last victim/His last victim. So sweet, so young, so innocent.
Is Rec a typo?
later gater
Author
Reply
Thanks for reading and the insight. Appreciate the help.
Victoria
There's a lot to like about this poem, Victoria. I'm impressed by your economy with words. People, especially writers, tend to overuse adjectives, similes, and all the rest of it. You don't seem to have that issue, lol. You could compress this poem more. For instance:
It is Dusk
A sun fades
as a vapire rises
and lifts his darkened
shades
Just a couple of thoughts.
L. Reis
Author
Reply
Thanks for reading my poem. Glad you liked it. I appreciate your ideas on it. Thanks again.
Victoria
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