The apple crunched when she bit into it. No more Mcbreakfasts for her. Today not only held a gorgeous sky, but the start of her five year plan. Beginning now, she would eat organic food, exercise and meditate.
In the next instant, she saw a flash. The office fish tank shattered. Black smoke billowed furiously outside as screams came from everywhere. I'm having a nightmare, she thought, how else could airplane parts be dangling over the Xerox machine?
Moments later, a sweating fireman stepped in, scanning the debris. He called out, "Anyone here?" Beneath his soiled boot, an apple crunched.
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Wow Pammy, talk about "Last but not least"! This is amazing. It's very original, as well as moving, deep, and ironic. To have "a new start" on perhaps the Big Apple's worst day in history, it's beyond words. But you found 100 of them to convey the tragedy that happened 14 years ago. Great job... you should win, imho. :)
Mswriter, Den
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Hi Mswriter Den - So nice of you to read and review and thanks for so many encouraging comments. I'm left speechless, except to say many thanks for the time and input and good luck in the contest. - Pammy
What an ending for the contest, very powerful, and most touching of all, probably somewhere that day, those very thoughts were made, and then ended so horribly. Great story, best of luck to you.
Janet
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Hi Janet - Thanks so much. I have to admit this story was one of my more emotional ones and the content was not easy to get through despite the short length. Really appreciate you taking the time and letting me know your thoughts. Good luck to you ! - Pammy
This has my vote for the winning apple drabble entry. I have often wondered how the people killed in the towers that day spent the minutes before the planes hit. We have some stories from people who were on the telephone with wives, husbands, sisters, at that moment, and these are chilling. Another chilling story was from a mother who was talking to her daughter who was on one of the airplanes to hit a tower, just before it happened. You have captured the horror very well in these 100 words. GOOD JOB.
Author
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Hi Wilma - Thanks so much for reading and for your kind comments about my story. I was just thinking about how we all plan, and then things happen and the plans go awry. Being a New Yorker, I'm often reminded of the differences between then and now and the before and after of 9/11 and all those precious lives lost that day. Literally thousands and thousands of tragic stories. Thanks again, I really appreciate your encouraging words. - Pammy
All the entries for the contest are great, but when I read this one I thought, "where have you been the whole time?!"
Very well done. Vivid imagery, amazing writing, as well as a sad reminder of that sad, sad day.
Well done and good luck! :)
Author
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Hi AbusiveAngel - I really appreciate your input on my story. I haven't been posting as much lately as I once did, but hope to get back into it when life calms down. I'm never certain how my writing might be received, so I'm glad to know it came across okay. Much obliged. And I see you have some entries in the contest too, so, good luck to you too! :) - Pammy
The first paragarph followed by the last line which states "Beneath his soiled boot, an apple crunched" hold the entire story perfectly well.
There is a great deal of vivid imagination that is interwoven in the narrative, but then the end of the story is perfect.
Definitely an interesting story to read.
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Hi Aniket - Thank you for taking the time to read this story and for your observations and encouraging comments. I really appreciate it. - Pammy
I had no idea where you were going with this and the ending took me by surprise. Somehow, I thought she had lived!
She was filled with such hope and promise and then left with nothing, her and her fallen apple, extinguished from eternity.
Nice job with the build-up of suspense and the wording. Good luck!
Author
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Hi Hazy Shades - Thanks so much for reading my story and for your kind comments. Because of the limited amount of words, I couldn't squeeze in another detail, so the reader has to answer the question of what happened where I left off, which is how I like it -- at least in this story. I appreciate your input. - Pammy
mswriter