Just left a review for Stefanie's 'The Day of Darkness' Chapter 9.

902

(16 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
Dialogue tags are used to help the readers (and also the author) know who is saying what.  When I first started writing my novel, I used a tag for nearly every line even when it was clear who was speaking.  I also didn't realize that it was better to put something like, he said, rather than said Johnny, if that makes sense.  Most of my tags now are likely quite boring as probably 90 percent are ..... said, although I've started adding some character movement and description in with these, such as Johnny burped, covering his wide mouth to mask his embarrassment.  The movements help to bring the characters to life and can be used to help the readers visualize the characters. Randy

903

(16 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
Will do. Should have it posted tomorrow.  Regards, Randy

904

(6 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Thanks for working with us. Look forward to the next lesson!

905

(281 replies, posted in Alpha to Omega - Review Group)

Hi Ann,
Hope you have a speedy recovery.  Just the writing for the master's can weigh you down (I know from experience--I have two master's). That virus sounds horrible.  Good luck and God speed!  Randy

906

(11 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Posted my dialogue scene for lesson two: http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … mple-21904
It's a scene I'm working on for my novel, The Kurdish Connection.

Completed a review of alkemi's 'The Souring Seas' Chapter 5.

908

(11 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Just posted my homework for lesson two.  It's under short stories.

909

(11 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Thanks LA!  Cheers, Randy

Completed a review of Jube's 'The World Of Phyries" chapter 8.

Completed a review for Ann on 'Aloha Spirit', Chapter 8.

Sounds good to me.  Thanks!

913

(8 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
Not right now..  Thought it was a good lesson.

914

(16 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
Just posted a short dialog scene.  It's called Lesson One: Writing Sample and it's under short stories.
Randy

915

(16 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
I posted lesson one this morning.  Regards, Randy

916

(2 replies, posted in Alpha to Omega - Review Group)

I would like to echo cobber's comments.  It's great to know that people who can provide quality reviews will be looking at our work.  I'm always learning a lot by reviewing the group's work. Many thanks!

917

(281 replies, posted in Alpha to Omega - Review Group)

So far I've gotten points for every review I've done on the group.  I think you're right that if it's posted to a group paying points it does.

Completed a review of CJ's 'Raven's Curse' - Chapter 9.

919

(17 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hi LA,
Will post the dialogue above as requested.  Since I've never written dialogue before, I need to learn to make it seem natural.  Also, I have a tendency to have my characters sounding the same, so I need to learn to give characters their own voice.

Posted a review of Matthew's chapter 8 v.1 - CH 3B.

921

(20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Yes, I read what you originally said.  If it's no big deal then why raise it in the first place?

922

(20 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

What's far more important is whether the instructor has the credentials to teach.  Who cares whether someone is listed as a founding member or not?  What they have to offer is far more important.

Completed a review of Cobber's "State of Vengeance', chapter 27.

Just left a review for Stefanie's 'The Day of Darkness' Chapter 8.

925

(17 replies, posted in Dynamic Dialogue)

Hello,
Until I started working on a novel, I had never written dialogue. I'm hoping this class will enable me to improve that very important part of writing.  Below is an excerpt from chapter 3 of my novel, The Kurdish Connection. For continuity sake, I've started the excerpt with the paragraph leading into the dialogue.
When they arrived at Gewran’s store, Dersim went inside while Ismet remained in the truck. Gewran was busy helping several customers, so Dersim and Ismet went to look at some of the carpets for sale. 
When the last customer departed, Gewran came over. “Welcome back!  Sorry for the delay, but I stopped to call Babir.  He’ll be right over.”
“Okay, thanks.  Ismet is outside in the truck.  Since we brought some of the weapons, we didn’t want to leave the vehicle unattended.”
“Hello! Good to see you again,” Babir said.  “Where’s Ismet and Hawre?  I though they were coming with you.”
“Hello, Babir,” Dersim said.  “Ismet stayed in the truck.  Hawre’s illness has gotten worse so he remained in Halabja.”
“May Allah give him good health,” Babir said.
“Is there some place we can put the truck so Ismet can join us? Dersim asked.
“Yes, of course. Just drive behind the stores and there is a large warehouse.  I’ll meet you there,” Gewran said.
After driving to the warehouse and locking the vehicle inside, Gewran, Dersim, and Ismet returned to the store. Babir had tea waiting for them.
“To your health,” Babir toasted. “And to our future.”
They all drank to Babir’s toast.  Dersim then got down to business. “When we met with Mullah Ahmed three weeks ago, he wanted us to bring all of the weapons to Mardin.”
“That’s right,” Babir said.
“Well, Ismet, Hawre, and I discussed this. We don’t think it’s a good idea to take everything to Mardin at once,” Dersim said. “What if the Turks cut us out of the plan? Then we have nothing.”
“We’ll support them in Mardin, but on our terms,” Ismet added.
“So what did you bring?” Gewran asked.
“We brought fifty AK-47s, fifty Glock pistols, ammunition, five crates of grenades, and five crates of plastic explosives,” Dersim said. “That’s about half of the weapons cache we uncovered.”
“What about the canisters? Did you bring them?” Babir asked.
“As with the weapons, we split it.  We brought twenty canisters,” Dersim said.
“They’ll have to be happy with that,” Babir said. “Without you, they wouldn’t have anything.  Come, let’s eat and then call it a night.  You have an early departure for Mardin in the morning.”
“Good idea,” Ismet said.
“Oh, I almost forgot. Ismet, Mullah Ahmed gave me this letter for you.  He said he wanted you to head to Syria while Dersim goes to Mardin.”
“What? Why?” Ismet asked.
“Read the letter and find out,” Dersim said.
Ismet opened the envelope and took out a single sheet of paper. After glancing at it, he handed it to Dersim. “Can you please read this?  My reading isn’t very good.”
“Sure. Mullah Ahmed wants me to drop you off in Silopi and you’re to head to the border crossing and find a truck driver named Kadir,” Dersim read.  “Kadir will take you to Al-Bab.  You’ll be given further instructions there, but it looks like they want you to go to Aleppo.”
“Did he say why?” Ismet asked.
“No, but I assume it’s so you can meet with some of our Syrian brethren,” Dersim said.

Looking forward to the class, Randy