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Opinions, please. I'm writing about the 41st century, and the technology consists of 2D and 3D displays, and "wisethings" (smartwatches that Tim Cook could only dream of). However, I don't yet use "wiseeyes" (contacts lenses). I had originally considered using wiseeyes for bringing up information about whatever was appropriate for the scene, but I think it will become a distraction to explain in each scene what the wiseeyes are displaying. And don't even get me started with hand gestures to interact with the wiseeyes. I was considering having the eyeseyes able to accept input by the wearer staring at "buttons" on the wiseeyes display. I also worry about writing myself into a corner, where the wiseeyes make it impossible to fail.

Thoughts?

I'll have a Zombie Celtics Zamboni with meat sauce, a gallon of ice cream, and a diet coke.

I need a cute name for a robot maid named by young Joseph. So far I've got Miss Rosie (from the Jetsons, except I use it as a last name) and Mammy from Gone With the Wind. I already have the butler, Mr. Uppity, and the cook, Mrs. Butter. Miss Rosie is probably best, except I don't want to deal with cease and desist letters. Are you allowed to name a robot after someone from fiction?

Which one sounds closer to sea? Shi or She?

Thanks for the half hour. :-)  I'll find another place or character to slip him in. It's too bad. I really wanted to make him the shogun.

Those snippets in chapter two are about five pages each. I really don't think it adds much to split them into four standalone chapters with filler. Granted, chapter two is not elegant, but I need to show that God enters their lives at both different years and at different ages. I prefer combining that into one chapter, preceded by the epigraph from Jorge B. Francis that pulls it all together.

The purpose of the history is of course to show where the future society has come from. The next chapter (attack on the royal family) focuses on Joseph, his life, and his world.

Then, a galactipedia entry about the rise of the Julii, followed by Apollo's first full chapter.

How do I write four full chapters about these two MCs without gong into some detail about who they are and where they came from? It requires those galactipedia entries to come first.

Nippon has two p's, albeit split into four morae: Ni-p-po-n.

Gracias!

Interesting. I no longer find references to myself or my book on the first page of Google. Just like I want it. Was that due to a change to our group's configuration, or did Sol do something?

Kdot, do you think Sibrassi is a sufficiently Japanese surname? I want to stick Seabrass in as the shogun.

Even though I'm writing mostly for my own fun,  I might as well keep open the possibility of a PG-13 audience.

I don't think of the violence in Dune as particularly graphic. Sure, they nuke the planet in a later book, but it's not like you're seeing bodies melting.

As for the faceless 100M inhabitants, I spend an entire act on the planet, so you do get to know them. There'll be more history about the planet in v3, which may help bring it alive.

The cadet massacre on New Beth was particularly nasty, as was Ecks's decapitation, Classiarii chests exploding, and the slaughter in the throne room attack.

Apollo's decapitation is fine to me since it was staged. Killing off Mama's guards is fine, since they're my equivalent to Stormtroopers, and I don't dwell on their deaths (e.g. faces plastered on the pavement).

I had already replaced the scene in chapter one where the captain gets hit in the face, sending his brains out the back of his head. Instead, he sets his blaster on overload and completely disintegrated in a blinding flash of light, taking the imperials with him, with no blood or gore.

It's primarily the gore noted above that I want to eliminate, so no severed/exploded body parts until the final moment between Lupus and Joseph.

I'm comfortable I can tame down most of the gore, except for Ecks's scene. I need to think about that one.