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I'm in the same boat at the moment, so don't feel alone!  All I have to offer is, don't give up - with every rewrite you're getting closer to "the one", and when you get there, you'll look back and say it was worth it.  There is a group here on TNBW (who I think should start a new group "The First Chapter Whips" to only accept first chapters and review those - I wouldn't name them, because I might leave someone out, but a good lot of them hang out around here) that's simply brilliant with their suggestions to get first chapters in shape.  Without their inputs, mine would be nowhere near where it is today compared to a few months ago.  And by all means, with every rewrite they find something new to fault (even though you might've been thinking, no way!) - just keep walking; you're one version closer to "the one" where these guys turn around and say:  "All good."  And that's when you know it is "the one".

Also, as with everything, review first chapters.  That way, you can share what you have learned, and keep on learning in the process as well.

Good luck and all the best!

*opens sprinklers to rinse away a little bit more mud*  I hope! 

only half of nothing will do ... K doesn't know what is coming.  I'm assuming I know, since I've seen you ask a question if there still is a 5000 word limit per chapter, so if my calculation is correct, three times nothing equals 7500+ words ...  :-)

You won't be charged points to turn it back on!

CJ, this looks to me like you've been blocked. Easiest way to confirm is to access their homepage - if you can leave quickees or access work or send a connection request, then you have not been blocked, otherwise you've been blocked.

her gown sleeve and her cloak sleeve make for multiple sleeves per arm?  I'll see if I can't change the sleeves just to be safe though (I don't visualize a cloak as something with sleeves.  By definition, that would be a coat.  (unless you know something about English clothing that I don't.  Besides, woven wool AND a dress sleeve to go through...I don't know if the arrow would score her that badly.  Either way, I would expect the shaft to get caught in the fabric)
--  blonde moment where my fingers and my brain disconnected - I was referring to a doublet used by females for riding, similar to the male version, just without the eyelets to attach breeches; on second thought, she would probably be wearing a shirt underneath over her chemise, but I don't want to have readers get drowned in details, so I'm going to change "sleeves" to something else to be safe
--  the arrow getting caught in the fabric:  it would depend on the arrow; I've changed tact assuming the bad guy would be using an arrow that could pierce armour, and I doubt fabric not designed for the purpose would be much of a problem

she had to belief she’ll make it to alston.(no clue where this is. is it the hamlet? not sure if i've seen this name before.)
***  I wasn't sure about this one - it's a town closest to the hamlet - given you have a "problem", I'll see what I can do (Just mention the name of the town earlier and put it in relation to the hamlet)
--  yep, that would be the way to go!  :-)

either the messenger was mistaken or the messenger’s lordship was (mention c's brother by name and implicate him here.)
***  This means I'm introducing Matthew, Henry, George and Anthony (not too many?) - if not, then I'll also have to make sure the connection between Anthony and Catherine is clearly stated here (Just state 'C's brother' instead of a name, then.  The key thing is to have the reader realize that C's brother sent the false message for help.  'Lordship' isn't clear enough because the reader isn't used to the titles yet)
--  sounds easy enough!

He has, but they have never touched and he didn't "realise" until now she has grown up really nicely ...  As you've also mentioned, they would've seen each other at C's father funeral - is this too hard to believe? (Just mention that C was dressed in mourning clothes and face smudged with crying...either way, it is a good teaching moment because you can go into funerals and what that involves.  Also, this would be a chance for the villain to get a mention...)
--  mmmm, will see what I can do!

This is after a defense is in place and George had "found" the attacker, so the torch should be okay?(George 'found' a trail but no attacker.  The person is assumed gone but could easily double back and finish the job.  Don't let the characters feel safe until a roof is over their heads.  Remember the Reivers.  No one is safe at night in these wild lands.  Oh, feel free to use that line if you feel it appropriate)  NO TORCH PLEASE.
--  you would be the best person to confirm whether they would be able to check her wound without a torch, remember it's overcast and only bits of moonlight breaks through every so often ...

Also note that the weather is rainy and humid.  A torch would have to be started by a flint and stone.  Not a very reliable source of fire.  Also note that the flame would obscure the night vision of everyone, making it harder to see if the upcoming trail is safe.  To prove it to yourself, walk along a dark path in the woods on a night with no moon.  Then take out a flashlight, point it to the upcoming path, and try to see as far into the trees.
--  in the next chapter, they will be lighting torches galore before they get going; it's also been used by reivers to display their numbers and install fear in those watching them approach (yeah, sometimes they didn't do it all that stealthy, the arrogant bastards!);  Matthew has a enough men to feel safe, as much as I know where you're coming from to keep the tension up
--  also, they grew up in the rain and humidity, surely they can light a torch if need be by now ...

It feels to me as if I'm being difficult here on a few points ... not my intent at all, but you probably know me by now and is ok with this and know that whether I agree or disagree, I appreciate it equally!

Thanks!
xx

This is exactly the reason why my kids have my permission to sort repeated offenders out (and the principal knows this because I had the pleasure to inform him in person once).  The school system over here is also lacking in any common sense.

I hate bullies and people that pick on those "weaker" or "smaller" than them.  But you may have noticed this already?!  LOL

nits (because you asked for some)
*** and because I knew I've missed a few with the rewrite no matter how many times you read the darn thing! 

if I don't mention something, it means it will be changed as per your review 

warm blood soaked her sleeves. (sleeve-singular- unless c got shot through both arms.)
***  her gown sleeve and her cloak sleeve make for multiple sleeves per arm?  I'll see if I can't change the sleeves just to be safe though

she had to belief she’ll make it to alston.(no clue where this is. is it the hamlet? not sure if i've seen this name before.)
***  I wasn't sure about this one - it's a town closest to the hamlet - given you have a "problem", I'll see what I can do

either the messenger was mistaken or the messenger’s lordship was (mention c's brother by name and implicate him here.)
***  This means I'm introducing Matthew, Henry, George and Anthony (not too many?) - if not, then I'll also have to make sure the connection between Anthony and Catherine is clearly stated here ...

familiar eyes, wide and flooding in tears, the usually sky-blue pools dark, met his when she lifted her chin(this makes it sound like m has seen c since she became an adult. the impression would be shocked recognition after remembering a bratty teen)
***  He has, but they have never touched and he didn't "realise" until now she has grown up really nicely ...  As you've also mentioned, they would've seen each other at C's father funeral - is this too hard to believe?

forget the torch! there is an armed attacker out there. why would they give him a target to shoot at?
***  This is after a defense is in place and George had "found" the attacker, so the torch should be okay?

as much as he wanted immediate answers, he’d have to tend to catherine’s injury first. (nope. he'd alert the other guards. they don't know there is an archer out there.)
***  George is on it! 

their families had been friends and allies for as long he could remember. (this confuses me since m hasn't seen c since she was young. if they were close allies, wouldn't m have been to the former aiden's funeral?)
***  would it be clearer if I add something like he didn't pick up on any problems at the funeral or some such?

Thanks, you've really made some brilliant suggestions (as always!) 

I like njc's cartoons.  Somehow, there's a cartoon he can use for every situation he needs a cartoon for too!

Re this one, I learn something every day (or at my age, sometimes are reminded of a lesson I've learned previously and should've remembered LOL).  I think that's a good thing.  Once you stop learning, you've either stopped breathing or you think you know it all.  Both are equally bad.  IMO

JR

I'm struggling to get my head around the practicality of using reviews, especially in-reviews, as discussion boards.

Reason for my concern is this:  A novel with 30 chapters, and an average of 5 in-line reviews per chapter, at an average of 10 in-line comments per review = 1500 in-line comments.  I'm not even considering if a writer has more than one novel active.  If only one comment every 2 chapters is discussed in more detail, that's 15 discussions spread over 30 chapters and 1500 in-line comments.  Not mentioning if two reviewers made the same suggestion, yet one group adds their views to review A and another group theirs to review B - and in the process, you now have two of the same conversations that don't follow each other.  From a writer's perspective, especially one that do not incorporate changes as they write on, this would be impossible to manage without going mad or without missing possibly some really good feedback.

So my question is, how would someone manage this?  Email alerts will drive me nuts (but that's just me) - traffic light patterns attached to in-line comments would probably work, but it doesn't negate the navigation require to get to this.  As already mentioned, having a feedback thread in more than one group is already problematic.  And I disagree that it takes the same effort to navigate in-line reviews compared to forums (1500 comments ...) - once you're on the forum page, you're going.  (I think the clicking involved with in-line reviews have been covered, so I'm not mentioning it).  How would this make it easier?

So although this functionality of in-line reviews specifically would be great, is it really what the intent is?  I have seen this many times over where something basic, but really effective morphs into a brilliant system that simply is too complicated and cumbersome to be used for its original purpose.  Fixing this would be even more painful.

KHip's proposal to have a "Facebook" kind of interface for each novel, that isn't part of the forums, seems less complex to me (from a user perspective, not necessarily a programmer's).

So, what am I missing here?  Sol, or is this what you're working on?

Hi everyone

I've uploaded the last Chapter 1 until the story is done.  There will probably be a few more familiar chapters that only have been reshuffled around until about mid-way, and then "new" content will again appear.

I know it is really boring to read the same chapter over and over, but I will appreciate it even if you just give it a quick look-over and then give me your overall impression.  I'll leave the nits for the brave, new members!  But by all means, if you see something, let me know!

A big THANK YOU for your absolutely wonderful support so far!  I owe you guys heaps!

Janet

Here is my suggestion. But only if you don't laugh. Okay, not really, you guys are the best, and will in any case laugh!

I've just been through a massive slump and got myself out of it by not focussing on that one word, or sentence, or paragraph. Not even on the chapter. I changed back to focussing on the end result. I want to see the story that is currently in my head on paper. So I focus on that mental picture for a bit.

I then go off the rails and imagine really ridiculous stuff like accepting rewards, being invited internationally to share my infinite experience and wisdom (it's a short speech however... there is only so much you can say to tell people to join TNBW) and then bingo! I'm writing again.

So basically, find that one thing that made you want to write and dust it off, young man! If all else fails, I can suggest some excellent needlepoint how-to manuals!