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Love your idea Temple!!!  Although I (for one) was going for melodramatic   

Jokes aside ...

I fail to see any bitching or whinging in this thread (but that's me).  I have noticed that some would like to see what had made the old site so great, and wasn't copied across, incorporated here as well.  And I have also noticed new members that had made suggestions based on what other sites they are members of are doing that would improve TNBW.  It's a good mix of suggestions, and it would likely result in a better outcome compared to if only one group was allowed to have their say/way.  And Sol is doing pretty good in my opinion to maintain that balance.  So hat's off to him.

And yes, we should probably thank Sol much more for all his hard work, even if it may be hard to really express our heartfelt appreciation in words (well, at least for me).  But somehow I suspect that Sol knows it is appreciated.

Hi Shearluck

I need to apologise for my comment - I thought your comment was tongue-in-cheek.  Hard to know over the internet, and I should know better.  I didn't intend any disrespect by that.

That whole thing about you need experience to be hired, yet can't get any experience because you don't have experience and don't get hired is shit.  I hope you get a break one day, and soon, and get to do what you would rather be doing! 

Janet

If I had known you 16 years ago, I would've asked you to do ALL the toasts at my wedding!

No it's no less personal than any of the others IMO.  Reason is you've brilliantly combined your frustration/difficulty/longing with your appreciation to be within an environment where you can drop your guard a little bit.  But then again, even when you can drop your guard, you can't because you dropped your guard a little bit, but you still had tabs on Collin, so you're still on duty even though you are where you are.

^^^^^^^^^ this nearly had me in tears - I don't know if I can explain it in words though.  To me, this means Collin made a connection (friend), and a deep emotional one at that (missed him), with someone outside of his immediate family.  And we see it for a moment, and then it's gone again (look, a squirrel).  But to me, it's not gone like in missing, only hidden, hidden so close but still so far.  And to me, in this piece you're trying to bring that emotion/connection to the surface again, but not for Eric or someone else, for you!

So no, it's not clinical.  You probably think it is because you're trying to keep a balance and not make it too raw/emotional.  You keep that balance (and I don't think it's something that's easy to do)

And yeap, it is a really great title!  NJC is good like that.  Makes everyone else looks bad though ....  *mumbles under breath*  :-)

Fur ... when we rewrite this, I'll add fur to the trolls.  What an excellent idea!!!!  And yes, we're going to re-write this - we will win more prizes that way! 

I thought her lady manners could add a nice layer to her character, and the way it's set up, she was stressed and reverted to her "normal" speech .... so readers should go:  mmmm, interesting.

It's paying dividends big time - so far, the balance between Jaylene and Alda is spot on IMO.  And I haven't seen Jaylene being passive at all.  To the contrary, she takes the lead, but let other do what they do best ie she uses each one's strength to the fullest and don't try to be the end all.

Eyes pursed tight and soundlessly gasping for air, Char gave little heed to the conversation on the other side of the broken door.  The thick, stale air inside made it hard to breathe.

Still betta tha' bein’ burnt ta dust.

Char, keeping her eyes closed, waited for the imbeciles to move on so that she can get out of there.  Quick.

“We have better things to do.”  Feet clattered on stone; fading rapidly.

Gud, da daft guards iz gone.

“Hey!  You dropped the bird!  It’s yours!”

Darnit, da bum iz still ‘ere.

“No harm done!  Please, come out, won't you?”

A frosty wind blew across Char’s exposed skin.

Hiz wasting precious time!

Char crushed the piece of bread in her right hand; a trickle of sweat dribbled down her temple and cheek.  It left a trail of ice behind.  Crunching her face, she closed her eyes even tighter.  A desperate cry almost escaped, an iron clad fist on her chest the force behind it.  The air chilled some more.  The hair on her arms rose.  She knew, should she open her eyes, she would see white mist every time she exhaled. 

She also knew evil. 

Outside, footsteps shuffled closer and then moved back again, a few times.  But finally, the man went away.

Char scuffled, her back pressed hard against the cold stone, oh so slowly, to the entrance.  Two steps and she’d be gone.

“And where do you think you are going?”  The voice was gruff, hoarse; yet, distinctively female.

One-and-a-half steps.

“Ha ha ha ha.  Ha ha ha ha.  She thinks she can escape!”

A chorus of bitter laughs joined the voice in a chorus to end in bone piercing howls.

One step.

Char was almost there when a frozen grip tightened around her left wrist.  Char gulped, and then screamed.  Eyes wide, she tried to yank her arm free, for naught.

Clouds shifted outside and let golden streaks of sunshine paint a haggard shape on rotten filth through the distorted entrance.  Bodies hobbled out of the way; bodies Char could now make out.

There were only females. 

Hardly any hair covered bold, green heads of those not wearing hairpieces.  The hairpieces made no difference.  Crooked noses, scattered liberally with dark, hairy moles, nearly touched their mouths.  Pointed, dropped jaws revealed coal black toothless gums.  A lucky few had one rotting, mouldy tooth left – bottom row.  Eyes, far apart, were like nuggets of gold glowing in the sun.  Char never thought gold could glow cold.  Grimy robes of indeterminate colours covered their grotesque, rotund bodies.

The hold on her wrist didn’t budge at all.

Time froze; Char remained fixed on the spot.  The moist bread in her hand completely forgotten.

Would logical reasoning work with them?

Maybe she could convince them it’s not because they are trolls, but it’s because they are eating humans that they’re not liked?

Char shook her head.  She was being silly.  And talking like a lady again. 

Biting her lip, blinking back tears, she knew, watching the white mist of her exhaled breath, they were not capable of rational thoughts.  And once they had you in their sights, they will never let go.

Priest sez I ‘uz born in year 1085.  Lost me mum to fever tha’ day.  It uzed ta be the worst day of my life.

Alda and Lewellen had been following for quite a while now ....  

Just messing with you K, I know what you mean and it's an astute observation!

Oh, and K can gladly kill this troll for me!  Heck, I'll even throw the troll at him!

How else is K going to kill all the characters that we come up with?! 

njc, I'd trust a parent's judgement more to gauge a kids "real" age, and even then some would get it wrong. Also, only a parent that is or had been closely involved to the workings of a site like this, would be in a position to make an informed call. IMO of course.