amy s wrote:
(Virtual wine glass appears)
Clink!
Just a glass? Not a bottle? 
426 2015-12-30 23:49:44
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
427 2015-12-30 23:44:15
Re: Your vote counts (2 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Book 1 Homegrown Healer.
Can I vote here? And also, what a nice problem to have! 
428 2015-12-30 23:42:04
Re: *Warning* Adult content (15 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
He's not even Scottish, a descendent of a descendent of a Scottish clan ....
429 2015-12-30 23:40:49
Re: *Warning* Adult content (15 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:
Cover doesn't do a thing for me, and if he's blinded, how does he look for her brother. Just doesn't blow my skirt up.
Very few covers do ....
And he hires someone .... There are plenty more issues, but she's done a good job of putting me in a blind person's shoes.
430 2015-12-30 21:57:25
Re: *Warning* Adult content (15 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
Mike Roberson wrote:
I hope this so-called romance had a warning so unexpecting readers especially young readers are not lured by the misnomer in classification.
AvonBooks - Historical Romance
The cover is pretty standard for 'steamy' Romance novels:
http://www.amazon.com/Scotsman-My-Dream … dp_product
So I don't think readers would be too surprised? The rest of this love scene as well as the other love scene was pretty 'standard'.
I just took exception to the lines I quoted. It's just stupid.
ps - and I'm not the only one - the most helpful critical review (3-stars) has the same issue!
431 2015-12-30 06:14:47
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:
janet reid wrote:Rebecca Vaughn wrote:No plot slaying! Just my lack of description in a battle scene.
(Unless you were talking about 300?)
I thought we're not allowed to mention 300 ...... My husband made me watch, I swear!
I blame my husband too!
Ironically he hated it almost as much as I did! I got back at him by making him watch The Princess Frog
Mine loved it. Had to watch the sequel 300 'something' too ... I got him back by making him watch "The Other Woman". That went well until Kate Upton started running around in a tiny bikini on the beach *sigh*
432 2015-12-30 06:09:14
Topic: *Warning* Adult content (15 replies, posted in Romance Inc.)
I can't keep this to myself. I can't explain why someone would do this?! If anyone can, please do!
From a Romance I got as a present:
She reached down between them and grabbed his erection with both hands, stroking it, *all good so far IMO* but then ... measuring it with her fingers. *wha?!*
But not the worst! ... It was at least nine fingers long and so wide around that her thumb and forefinger didn't meet when she extended them around it.
At least nine fingers?! Would that be inches? I don't know! And frankly, I don't care either.
Why, oh why so much unnecessary detail?!
The rest, despite a few hick-ups, was not too bad. I could actually finish the book.
The biggest other problem I had was that the earl had his brother who tried to kill him locked up in jail. (1) If it's Britain, it's prison and (2) If it's anything to do with nobility, they made the problem disappear to the countryside (house arrest, no earl worth his salt would allow this cloud to hang over his family ever).
The best thing about the whole book was two-fold - male POV was used (I'd guess even more than the female POV) and he was blinded in the American Civil War. Karen Ranney (the author) did a very decent job of describing a realistic and believable picture of what it would feel and be like to be all of a sudden blind. But it could've been sssooooo much better without that detail.
*washes eyes with sulphuric acid, if only I could bleach my brain too*
433 2015-12-30 05:54:57
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I've hit a massive milestone today!
40,000+ words
I'm half-way there!!!!! whoo-hoo!!!!
Only problem ... no boozzzzzz in the house to celebrate
434 2015-12-30 05:52:25
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:
No plot slaying! Just my lack of description in a battle scene.
(Unless you were talking about 300?)
I thought we're not allowed to mention 300 ...... My husband made me watch, I swear!
435 2015-12-30 05:14:46
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:
One of the reasons the medieval kings had to order hundreds of thousands of arrows to be made is that most ended up stuck in the ground because of random shooting.
For what it's worth, I can vouch for this.
For what it's doubly worth, even 8 deep (7 feet deep per side in other words) would not really improve the situation ... I think.
436 2015-12-30 02:12:23
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rebecca Vaughn wrote:
janet reid wrote:Rebecca, regarding American and proper English spelling, British spelling have been around long before American spelling, is my only reason. Having said that, it's not a hard and fast rule, since American spelling is acceptable especially if the target readers are from the States. I have seen Regency Romance novels using both. So I think you're good, as long as you keep it consistent, which I think you are (although I only noticed you use American spelling today for the first time, so clearly it's a massive problem, not!).
I suppose it makes sense to try to use something that is older. But I have written "kidnapped" in my stories only to have readers want it replaced with the more modern "abducted," so I'm not sure the age of a word or age of the spelling of a word really matters. I don't know. I have always used American English Spelling, so I'll just stick with that.
I'd ignore those comments and use the archaic form (but that's me) ... I've had a few reviews that insisted I should correct spelling mistakes - I used it as an opportunity to inform otherwise. It's been a while too.
Then, one reviewer (Amy), but I won't mention any names, has actually picked up one word that I thought was Middle English, but she said was modern, and she turned out to be right (I still don't know how the hell she did that, it's scary!). I changed that word to something more Middle English. So yes, I'm sensitive to using archaic words rather than modern words - but it's to give it that 'feeling' more than I have to.
But yeah, I think in your case, you can justify it if you're aiming for the USA demographic, so you're good, I think. (but then again, what do I know, right?!)
437 2015-12-30 01:31:31
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Rebecca, regarding American and proper English spelling, British spelling have been around long before American spelling, is my only reason. Having said that, it's not a hard and fast rule, since American spelling is acceptable especially if the target readers are from the States. I have seen Regency Romance novels using both. So I think you're good, as long as you keep it consistent, which I think you are (although I only noticed you use American spelling today for the first time, so clearly it's a massive problem, not!).
438 2015-12-28 17:58:52
Re: -ing vs -ed verb forms (26 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
Charles_F_Bell wrote:
Still friends? ;-)
More than two "happenings" in a paragraph is pushing reader tolerance -- of this reader's tolerance, at least. However, a rapid succession of events as in Dirk's sample has an internal logic most people get -- if done once in a paragraph. Describing action in words will never compare with the visual arts for action/adventure, but some authors do well enough, but those same authors, drawing heavily on plot development for the novel's raison d'etre , do not do so well in theme development and other elements of literary fiction and the narration necessary for that. There's a reason Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Homes is the most filmed character.
I don't understand the resistance to dropping -ing words on TNBW, especially that sloppy dangling [comma] participial phrase. It's use, like the passive tense, marks a major difference between fiction and nonfiction of the technical, bureaucratic, and essayist-journalist sort. I have four -ing words in the above paragraph, for example.
I'm afraid I can't be friends with someone that has no tolerance for more than two -ings in one paragraph 
Four in one paragraph, I wouldn't have picked it up if you haven't mentioned it! (There's no hope for me in other words)
I don't think it's so much as a resistance to dropping -ing words than an insistence that it does have its place in writing. There's a subtle difference.
For Dirk's given examples, dropping the -ing words seems to be best. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have other instances where it would work better to keep them. Like I've said, and probably not very clearly, but sometimes an -ing has a 'continuance' to it that would otherwise read too abrupt. I would dig out an example if I wasn't so lazy.
Janet TP also has a good point, combining -ing with was/were is even worse.
But now I'm repeating myself and I'm not sure Dirk is any closer to the answer he was hoping for. *steps to the side*
439 2015-12-28 04:49:11
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
KHippolite wrote:
What if the word "epic" is in the title?
They deserve to be hit by lightning?
440 2015-12-28 03:53:51
Re: Titles in The Pendragon and The Beast of Caer Baddan (206 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
njc wrote:
First rule of writing an Epic:
Never define your story as Epic. Always let someone else do that for you!Right. You let your editor and book designer or cover artist do it for you!
Nope, not even then. Only after it's a series on HBO with world-famous actors! 
441 2015-12-28 03:49:30
Re: -ing vs -ed verb forms (26 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
Charles_F_Bell wrote:
janet reid wrote:Charles_F_Bell wrote:So you'd rather have: dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, and was plowing into the superstructure . . .
by what logic in grammar justifies substitution , and was with a mere comma? or that a -ing participle means, like past-progressive with "was", continuing action? A participle is just a participle. Sloppy, lousy, lazy writing.
Just before you start throwing insults at me, just get my sloppy and lousy writing down correctly! I am guilty as charged, I'm lazy. But you know that already!
This is what I'd rather have with the complete set of changes I would've made:
As each remaining shield failed, the ship dove down at the palace at maximum thrust. It plowed into the superstructure, setting off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.
This is somewhat different to what you had, and can still be wrong, lazy, and sloppy, but is more what I meant at least.
Yes, that does clarify but does not make your logic any better. How exactly is , setting better than and set? It does not create the progressive action you say it does inasmuch as and set is third in a list of four events sequentially happening. That is a functional purpose of simple past tense and word order. This happened, and that happened, then the other thing happened. always denotes a progression of events.
I'll give you that much, this isn't the best example to show what I'm trying to say. But always saying this happened, and then this happened, and happened, and happened to denote a series or progression of events will get boring very quickly and there are instances where 'happening' will work better. But that's just me.
442 2015-12-28 00:17:20
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
njc wrote:
Anant the review: my tongue is definitely inside *my own* cheek!
Two or three days for Matthew without Catherine, and Catherine without Matthew? They'll be like springs bent to the breaking point. But that's what you planned, isn't it, you cruel author?
LOL, that's what I meant, *your* cheek! hahahaha
And no, it wasn't me! That's is all the bad guy's fault too!
443 2015-12-28 00:12:10
Re: -ing vs -ed verb forms (26 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
Charles_F_Bell wrote:
janet reid wrote:Norm d'Plume wrote:One of my reviewers has recommended that I avoid verb forms that end with -ing and write the sentence using -ed verb endings.
Here is an example with -ing verbs:
As each remaining ship’s shields failed, it dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, plowing into the superstructure,
and setting off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.Here it is with -ed:
As each remaining ship’s shields failed, it dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, plowed into the superstructure,
and set off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.Verb police, please weigh in.
I'm more likely to be arrested by the verb police, but here's my opinion in any case.
For the example you give, it depends. To me, the -ing verbs in the first example indicate a 'continuous' action, where in the second example, it reads/makes the action more 'abrupt'.
So you'd rather have: dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, and was plowing into the superstructure . . .
by what logic in grammar justifies substitution , and was with a mere comma? or that a -ing participle means, like past-progressive with "was", continuing action? A participle is just a participle. Sloppy, lousy, lazy writing.
Just before you start throwing insults at me, just get my sloppy and lousy writing down correctly! I am guilty as charged, I'm lazy. But you know that already!
This is what I'd rather have with the complete set of changes I would've made:
As each remaining shield failed, the ship dove down at the palace at maximum thrust. It plowed into the superstructure, setting off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.
This is somewhat different to what you had, and can still be wrong, lazy, and sloppy, but is more what I meant at least.
444 2015-12-27 22:42:44
Re: -ing vs -ed verb forms (26 replies, posted in Writing Tips & Site Help)
Norm d'Plume wrote:
One of my reviewers has recommended that I avoid verb forms that end with -ing and write the sentence using -ed verb endings.
Here is an example with -ing verbs:
As each remaining ship’s shields failed, it dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, plowing into the superstructure,
and setting off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.Here it is with -ed:
As each remaining ship’s shields failed, it dove down at the palace at maximum thrust, plowed into the superstructure,
and set off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker.Verb police, please weigh in.
I'm more likely to be arrested by the verb police, but here's my opinion in any case.
For the example you give, it depends. To me, the -ing verbs in the first example indicate a 'continuous' action, where in the second example, it reads/makes the action more 'abrupt'. I'd probably go for a combination - the ship plowed into the superstructure, setting off enormous fireballs that shook the bunker (given the speed of the ship and the immobility of a rather big structure from the sound of it, the 'abrupt' version works for the ship and the more 'continuous' action works better with the picture I have of the fireballs IMO).
This could be wrong, but it makes sense to me and would be what I'd do.
*greets family and waits patiently for verb police to arrive*
445 2015-12-26 23:51:27
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Boinking ... I'm going to use that for my next warning. Which reminds me, I was supposed to use on of Amy's for a warning and I didn't - need to look for that one too. grrrr, unforgiveable of me!
446 2015-12-26 23:50:07
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
KHippolite wrote:
What's all this about mystery and gain vs revenge? Where's the boinking?
LOL You're behind on your reviews, that's your own fault! I'm also slightly worried now that I'm turning the future of fantasy/magic/mystery writers into Romance readers ...
I wish! LOL
447 2015-12-26 23:48:20
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
njc wrote:
Good points. Yes, I've assumed that Peter as the most workable motive--gain. But what about revenge? Who would go this far and endanger this many people for revenge? Of course, it's always good to have your reader fixated in the wrong direction.
Peter does have the best motive for sure! Feuds on the border between families stretched over generations - they do not forget, ever - so revenge is always possible and very applicable.
I'm just adding to the list of suspects to help you guys. Or maybe not!
Here's another bone - it's definitely not Anthony, Catherine or any of Matthew's closest friends (Black John, Tom, Robert, Henry, George). If you stop guessing, I can get the next chapter done! LOL
448 2015-12-26 23:43:43
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
Amy
I was starting to get worried, but now I don't worry anymore. If your problem was with the Romance, then I would've been worried. But, since you have a problem with the Mystery, I'm starting to think, that's a good thing, the M is not more important or overshadowing the R. That's a good thing, right? So how good are you?!
I'm busy writing a chapter where Matthew will get some info that throws the apple cart over. Remember Isaac said the bad guy tried to sound like he was from the around the border but he was convinced he wasn't from the border? Well, Matthew is going to talk to another person who says the exact opposite ... the bad guy tried to make it sound he's from somewhere else, but he's definitely from around the border. And if you think about it, that makes sense since he moves around without anyone taking special notes or interest. I wonder if njc will still think Peter is it after this. Will have to see. It does support your theory though ... although the castle Steward is old. But then again, not too old for what's been happening. Who knows?!
So the next few chapters may change your mind on the distraction and deflection side of things. And here I thought bed-sport was enough to distract! LOL
Someone is going to be kidnapped too! But closer to the end. And there is something that you do that is really annoying and should really stop - I have no idea how you do it, but every time when you say/said: 'consider this, consider that, do this, do that', I tell you, no lies, I was planning to that right the next chapter. But now you suggest it, and when I do it, it looks like you suggested it and I wasn't planning to do it all along! That's really annoying. And then I think, damn Amy, damn you Amy, now it looks like I'm just waiting for your reviews and then do what you suggest! LOL I've since get used to it.
The water is an easy fix - I just need for someone to mention something. And I need to decide whether they have access to a clean water source (the well at the castle) or streams when they're riding about. Streams depends on what is upstream and the elevation (elevation influences where people live, so that's why it's usually safe to assume when you're high up in mountains, you can drink the water as there will be very unlikely be a village upstream). My research reference is based on London - they definitely didn't have access to clean drinking water and everyone from weaned toddlers to old people drank ale. And lots of ale. As I said, not a sober society. We're all good!
Too long : didn't read (TL:DR) - All good, we're on the same page! Thanks for the feedback and support. Keep it coming - you sometimes do get it right and then you're annoying, but I still like you despite of that!
449 2015-12-26 23:11:50
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
amy s wrote:
Maybe it is Peter and the Steward. THat way, we are both right.
Okay, I'll pity you guys and throw you a bone. You're getting warmer. It's not just one person ...
I have to ask ... Do you guys still remember James Forster? I gave him a whole scene from his POV. And Davie? He's so cute and damn likeable, isn't he? But he tends to be where everywhere where there's trouble. 
450 2015-12-26 05:57:28
Re: Northern Skies - Janet! (520 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)
I don't understand, sorry.
So, more suspects make it automatically a better mystery or if you don't have a legion of suspects, it's a half-washed attempt at a mystery? Why? I have no issue with readers guessing who dunnit and or guess right from a limited pool of suspects - they still need to read to the end to confirm their suspicion and to find out WHY this is all happening.
Why does it have to be hard/impossible/so complicated that they have no clue right up to the end? That is not avoiding the mystery, that is trying to make sure the mystery does not become the prime storyline, drowning the Romance with a capital R. This whole thing of trying to make it impossible to guess or be so subtle with any clues that readers don't even know it's a clue is not what I'm trying to achieve, primarily because I don't want the mystery to overshadow the Romance, not because I don't care or it's too hard to even try. And I have no problem with writers that try to that either, it's just not what I'm going for, because Romance.
I have always said, this is first and foremost a Romance. And I'm still saying, this is first and foremost a Romance. It is not a mystery with a love story component. The mystery is the inciting incident and that is all there is to it. But neither does it mean I have a brilliant excuse to do a half-washed job of the mystery. The mystery I have presented in the first chapter of NS will be resolved in NS, but more importantly, not at the expense of the Romance I have presented in the first chapter.
As a side-note - Right at the end there will be a hint at a bigger mystery which will lead into book 2. And right at the end of book 2, there will be a hint that the bigger mystery is even bigger and goes even further back than originally thought, leading into book 3. I can also say, I'm not writing a series. Each book in the end will be written such that each can be read independently. *Yeap, I like pain!* So far, there is nothing in NS to make anyone think otherwise - that is all coming from replies to reviews and comments I've made in forums ...
I'm also starting to suspect you have Black John, Matthew (Earl of Norwood) and Anthony (Anthony Aiden, Baron Aiden) all mixed up. The last chapter you reviewed, Matthew was training young men, Black John and Anthony/Aiden were sparring. Matthew was enjoying the show. I have no idea what you are saying when you say here:
A sparring match isn't a battle, but M gets portrayed as tougher if he beats BJ. BJ's reaction gives clues on how persistent he is, how much hurt he is willing to take, and how far he is willing to go. (Ergo…leading to whether he is a suspect or not).
BJ can wait for his turn to shine. Matthew is just about to enter another situation to prove his worth in a fight (the first one was the raid on A's tower) and it's not the last opportunity either. First, BJ and A will match each other, and then M will and will be portrayed, hopefully, as tough enough.
I also don't understand this:
I never have any doubt that M is going to win his fights. There has to be risk.
This would be true if BJ or A was the bad guy. So far, IMO, the bad guy is making M's life pretty miserable and anything I would call easy or 'no risk'. M isn't fighting BJ or A .... So do you really think, if you think back in terms of the mystery bad guy, that there's no risk or it's too easy for M?
