Peter's belief in his moral superiority as a leader and a Lord is contradicted by events.  Matthew has earned loyalty.  We see him earn the loyalty of Anthony (and it would be good to see Anthony risk his life for Matthew after that humiliation) as well as the loyalty of the common boy he interrogated, then took in.

Peter, on the other hand, cannot earn loyalty and fails when he tries to buy it.  He destroys his tools.  Even if Peter does not consciously recognize the contradiction between his jealous assessment of Matthew's character and the Matthew he is fighting, his inability to fight on level ground with Matthew must rankle at every turn--and he must be evading and hiding from the measures of character.

I think if you keep this in mind, you won't need to add any additional seasoning.  Jealously becomes the deadly sin of Envy, and that progresses to raging, irrational anger.  Just let us see that, in microcosm, and let us see how Peter uses the Anger to defend against the truth.

If you can't have Anthony strike the killing blow, can you show Isaac (is that the name) risking his life in loyalty, and, injured, still showing more concern for Matthew?

Death by sepsis for Peter would open the door for more character moments between your other characters.  It would let him rage a bit in nominally lucid moments.  And, in the end, he might slink away to die, to 'escape', leaving Matthew to drive away the animals feeding on him, in order to give him a decent burial. (Driving an animal from its meal can sometimes only be done by killing it.)

Earl Scheib

1,578

(1,528 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

I've spent three frotzenglarken weeks tinkering with the outline for Maurand, Day 2 and writing it bitsie by bitsier.  Now I'm typing it up and rewriting On The Fly.  And let me tell you, there's not much room for a laptop on the back of a fly.

I've got about a thousand words done.  There's about 5000 more to do (I fit about 650 words in Pitman on a letter page) and then I have to do some edits in stuff already written (pub'd and un-).

Sorry these prelims are taking so long.  I know that (most) everyone needs the points,

1,579

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Be aware that fandom has legions of Wesley Crusher haters.

Into the woods,
It's time to go,
I hate to leave,
I have to go.
Into the woods-
It's time, and so
I must begin my journey.

Duck Dodgers

1,582

(18 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

But it is pursued ruthlessly and with single mind, and the effects on the course of debate and policy can be just as drastic.

1,583

(18 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

I wasn't thinking of that, though OSCard used it in the later books of the Enderverse.  I was thinking more of politicians determined to gut this or another piece of law or public policy, or perhaps their political opponents.

1,584

(18 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)

Is there a parallel to Carthago delenda est! ?

1,585

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

Though if you are in Satan's Mills, the commandment would be Thou Shalt Not Chill.

Review coming in a couple of hours.

Janet (AJ) Reid wrote:

I have no idea why anyone would start a business in the US to be honest. The booklet explaining personal income tax is almost 1000 pages, so I can't imagine what the business version looks like. This is batshit nuts.

Batshit is sane and rational compared to the US tax code.

I fear that the media may have to wait for Hell in the next life.

In Kate Paulk's Vampire Con (as in Convention) series, we learn that the publishers and editors are demons, whose purpose is to use dismal literature to spread despair.  If you don't find the stories blasphemous (a 'slightly tarnished' angel named Ralph has a succubus for a girlfriend) I think you'd appreciate them.  Oh, and Paulk is an Aussie.

Some Golden-age writer, perhaps Futrelle, gave us a murder in which the corpse was deep-frozen in liquid CO2 and pulverized in that state.  What was left could easily be washed down the sewers, and with no DNA testing available, there was no proof he'd ever been there.

You could try it on deep-frozen butcher carcasses.

Janet (AJ) Reid wrote:

  (You'll note that I couldn't give two shits where the EU administrators and council members find a new job - then again, their buddies will make sure they're taken good care of). ...
So in short, I think the British royal family/the queen has more purpose than the EU.

I do care what happens to the Eurocrats ... and to whom they happen.  People whose consciences are happy with them in such jobs are capable of great harm.  I do believe they should have a chance at personal redemption, perhaps as day laborers, or as small businessmen under their own laws, or as waitstaff in a place where they must survive on tips--and thus on earned goodwill.

The modern Royals have had power taken from them, to the point where they lack any Practical Wisdom in its use (the current Monarch being the best of them by far).  The Eurocrats were given more and more power over others, and never called to task for the costs they inflicted on others.

Belaboring the obvious is one of my favorite pastimes. smile

I said it on the other thread:
The EU has fundamental problems in a currency union that is effectively run by the least responsible states and a system of laws growing at the behest of the most prolific bureaucrats.  If they fix those problems, they still have their self-defense problems: what to defend, against whom, who is to do it, and who is to pay?
It's worth fixing the problems, but is it worth trying to fix them?  John Bull seems to say not.

1,594

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

If you need the money in the next 24 months, then yes, it will hurt you.  Beyond that, the behavior of Congress and the US Executive Branch will probably have a bigger effect.

I think I hear your reply already: "I am so screwed.

1,595

(1,217 replies, posted in Fantasy/Magic & Sci-Fi)

The EU has fundamental problems in a currency union that is effectively run by the least responsible states and a system of laws growing at the behest of the most prolific bureaucrats.  If they fix those problems, they still have their self-defense problems: what to defend, against whom, who is to do it, and who is to pay?

It's worth fixing the problems, but is it worth trying to fix them?  John Bull seems to say not.

A honey of a problem?

Alternate new chapters with revisions, then

I read that the 'grapevine' was a tavern of that name where the movers and shakers of the time rubbed elbows with everyone else--and carried on business.

Yes.

So one person was painfully honest, and the others were polite?