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Hey! I just realized the review ratings are gone! I'm slow. I know. But I do have a lot going on. Lol!

Okay, I'm lost. It says I don't have any content eligible. So I assume since it's old work, I need to republish...how the heck do you do that because I tried and it just ain't working.

Bimmy

don't know if this has already been said, but I'd like a place on the mobile site to be able to see consolidated new forum posts like on the right hand side of the regular home page. Let me know if that was not clear. I think I'm describing it right.

Bimmy

OUCH!!!!!

All "my regulars" seem to be in this forum. That's not the issue. Even if I wasn't directly involved in a thread, there were always so many great conversations  about writing and publishing that I could watch and learn. I don't see anything like that happening. It's just really quiet. Though, I do remember that a lot of regulars just dropped off the map during SS so they didn't have to deal with the people "just here for the contest". Hmmm....

Craptatstrophe

This is correct. I can tell you I'm a very kind and generous person. Do you care? Na. If I help you pack and take you out to dinner afterward...now you care. Catherine " tells" us a lot about herself, but if we "experience" it in context then it becomes more real. We care more. The stuff Matthew spills about her running her mannor...start there. Show us the mannor. Show us her struggle. NOW we see her selflessness and the injury matters. Her predicament matters. We have seen what's at stake.

Just a reminder, none of these reviews and subsequent hacking at your work means it is BAD. It means we see potential for it to be even better! Don't be discouraged. You've got chops.

Bimmy

Hey girl..I'm on you're side...or wouldn't be reviewing you.

Look at this formula (jeez, I hate formulas but this one pretty much every story ever written starting with "in the beginning")

normal ----> big change ----> exciting stuff---->new normal/happy ending

Northern Skies is skipping the "normal" part of the story. You jump right to "big change". Without the "normal" there is nothing to gauge the "big change" by or compare the "happy ending" to.

I don't think escalating or intensifying Catherine's mad dash is going to fix the problem. I think it will worsen it. I don't agree with K's fuzzy bunny suggestion, btw. I don't even think you have to 'make" her valiant. She just has to be somebody before her adventure starts. She doesn't even have to be a special somebody or a likeable somebody. But definitely a somebody. And it needs to be shown to us, not told.

Okay, I'll quit bugging you about it now. You're doing a great job and you know you are when people are fighting over how you should tweak your work. lol!

I don't care if you have more or less local vocab. I just need to be initiated to it with more/better context clues. Hobblers wasn't bad. I figured it just meant horse.

Hey Amy,

I looked and it seems I read everything you posted on mandates and dictates. I'm guessing it's all rewrite now? If so, I'll start from the beginning on all! Just say the word.

Bimmy

Hey JR!

Just got your reply. I'm sure you've already heard this but a review is an opinion. Anything I say is my perspective (or anyone else's, unless ita grammar and punctuation). Don't make changes for every single person!

That being said, on me not caring about Catherine-

I see she is loyal. That's great. But its mixed in with all the other stuff going on so its really down played. But that in itself doesn't give me a sense of WHO she is. What her life is normally like, what she does, what's at stake, what her flaws are. Your main character has to grow through the story, overcome something within themselves to become a hero, or find love. Right now, I don't know that. I feel like I should know some of that before she is tossed into the adventure so the injury means something to me. But that's me. The good news is, I think you have all the puzzle pieces and they just need to be rearranged.

Any who, on the time/place specific words, it doesn't take much to leave them in. We just need a definition immideate to the first use. Like
"The berkiman wall, an impenetrable barricade of gray, moss covered rock, grew on the horizon."

I totally have no clue what it is. Lol! Just showing how you can have your cake and eat it too. Because stuff like that is why historical romance readers read historical romance... That and the porking.

I was just asked to do the whole thing again, but it worked for me.