Congratulations on the eyes, Max! That's stupendous news.
As for your ears... I gotta listen to more classical stuff myself. Especially while writing. Cyril Scott is interesting, indeed.
177 2015-02-10 13:19:17
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Imagine that! Using grunge music to prod me! Well done, GP. 
Unfortunately, I haven't got much to say. Dog days of winter, I suppose. What's new with you?
178 2015-02-04 05:06:19
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Seahawks blew it and no... WIlson Pickett NEVER shows up. That's life in a nutshell. And that's why I want you to listen to BLACK, GP. It's all about lost love and love lost and, in the end, NOT being bitter about it.
Here it is... Even if the lyrics are a bit esoteric, they're coming from Vedder's heart:
179 2015-02-04 05:01:45
Re: Writing Class (12 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Hopefully she'll help you with some of that "crotique", at least.
Just kidding, GP!
180 2015-02-04 04:57:10
Topic: Republishing... (5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
Look... This is (or should be) really simple. My Seahawks just blew the fucking Super Bowl and so I wanna add some content to an earlier story I wrote about the futility of being a Seattle sports fan. On the old site all I had to do was EDIT and then REPUBLISH to get my story on the daily front page for everyone to ignore.
Now, however...? Well, I'm a bit lost. I'm willing to spend points and all that, but... I dunno how to go about it. Help me, Sol. Or somebody.
Cheers
John
181 2015-01-29 05:22:41
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
My first exposure to Donovan was watching DeNiro and Pesci stomp a guy half to death to the tune of ATLANTIS. But he's a really interesting artist, uniquely impossible to emulate. I don't think you'll EVER find a DONOVAN cover band, is what I mean. And that's coming from me, all I do is cover bands.
So this guy I know knows a guy, who knows a girl, who knows another guy, who knows Eddie Vedder. And there's a possibility that Eddie Himself (who still lives in West Seattle to this day) might show up at our little tribute show next month. Of course, I'm both delighted and terrified by that prospect. It's a bit like Waiting for Godot, like the Commitments waiting for Wilson Pickett. Or was it Jackie Wilson? Better watch the tape...
182 2015-01-27 05:29:02
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
You like Cat Stevens but you don't like Neil Diamond? The man is thoroughly LIKEABLE! Sweet Caroline. Cherry, Cherry. Forever In Blue Jeans. Song Sung Blue. Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon. Coming to America.... Come on, GP!!!!!!!! Turn on your Heartlight, for chrissakes!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhumCu3fzMI
Love it and don't be ashamed about it.
Cheers
John
P.S. How about Jim Croce?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcqauC49Xmc
Or Donovan?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3E9ZNI8-_bE
You hate them, too?
183 2015-01-27 02:39:24
Re: Collaboration (11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
I haven't seen it yet (I thought you already read ch 2) but your reviews are far from pretentious, GP. That's why you're Jerry!
184 2015-01-25 06:12:58
Re: Collaboration (11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Glad I could make you laugh, GP. But part of me is somewhat serious, believe it or not. I mean... Has it ever been done before where: You got a conventional novel, a pot-boiler bout a lawyer or a cop or a family in emotional crisis or whatever, where a realistic plot is going along like it should --hell, where the plot gets happily resolved even-- and then...
BAM! Alien Invasion!! Just like that, and from out of fucking nowhere, the world as we know it ends! Genesis wins the big case, gets a satisfying measure of revenge for her prep school suffering, sits down to eat some pistachio-flavored ice cream in the nude with her hunky and passionate and considerate new lover whilst they watch Green Fried Tomatoes on Netflix when suddenly... Aliens!
Wouldn't that be awesome?
No?
Well, okay.... I tried.
Cheers
185 2015-01-25 04:06:12
Re: Collaboration (11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Deflate-gate is ruining this Super Bowl. So no. I ain't laughing. It gets on my nerves, actually, all the attention being taken away from the game itself. But whaddaya gonna do?
TNBW writing class? What's that all about? Although, why not? I run into walls all the time and really don't do anything about it. I just keep running at em like an idiot. I can't remember anymore if I had an issue with your flashbackage. I would probably sprinkle them around because I'm incapable of writing a linear story. But I think linear stories work better all in all. Like have a modern prologue teaser, then Part One is prep school origin story, Part Two is modern day legal/romantic intrigue, and finally Part Three is when the polar ice caps melt and it's every man for himself versus a legion of unfrozen ancient aliens~!
Cheers
John
P.S. That's the part where we collaborate, GP. Part Three. You go ahead and write the novel you wanna write and then I come in and finish it. With aliens.
186 2015-01-21 02:27:49
Re: Collaboration (11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Yeah, that was bonkers. Bananas. Russell Wilson is Batman. No superpowers, just ridiculous amounts of resourceful chutzpah.
Mark my words: Unless one of these days it comes out that he's really Bill Cosby.... He'll be President of the United States some day.
187 2015-01-17 05:47:14
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
So I was looking thru some of my older material tonite and yeah... Neil Diamond is Ruben's favorite singer. I forgot about writing it, but... Apparently Crunchy Granola Suite makes this evil dog-killing bastard happy. Music soothing the savage beast, as it were...
So what do you, GP, think of this song? Does it replace your angry face with a smile?
188 2015-01-15 03:44:16
Re: Cool movie (28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Yeah, our bass player is a pot-smoking, multi-faceted, action-packed renaissance man with a razor wit. Plus, he's a rock climbing, snow-skiing, camp-out and fish for his meals, outdoorsy fuck who writes ad copy for, of course, an outdoor gear company here in Seattle called REI. The ladies adore his hipster ass. The man makes me sick, really.
I'll eventually see SELMA. Like I eventually saw LINCOLN and TWELVE YEARS A SLAVE. (loved it!) It's just that I gotta be in a certain miserable mood already (hungover and the house to myself, for example) to wanna sit down and watch a "serious" movie like that.
I'm currently reading WINTER'S TALE by Mark Helprin. The film version (Colin Farrell and Russell Crowe) got shit reviews so I stayed away. But then I saw the book on my neighbor's shelf and asked if I could borrow it. Gotta say, it's right up my alley. Surrealist and overwrought and big enough to chock block a tractor trailor with. I'll probably give up around page 404 (get it? page 404; not found) and just watch the movie.
Cheers
189 2015-01-13 06:19:17
Re: Cool movie (28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Yeah, I'm gonna run right out and see that movie, too. (Our bass guitarist is a spitting image of Bradley Cooper, by the way. He's from upstate, Rochester NY, and the most sarcastic dude this side of John Hamler.)
Anyway, I started reading that book -American Sniper- but couldn't finish it. I dunno why. Maybe because I already know his whole story. He's the badass who came back from Iraq and purportedly punched out Jesse Ventura at a SEAL team reunion thing and then got shot to death by a fellow soldier suffering from PTSD at a shooting range in Texas. A compelling story to say the least...
Me and the agent and the Doc and everyone else is rooting for you, GP. So, amidst all this goodwill, if you'll just go ahead and root for the Seattle Seahawks to beat the Green Bay Packers this weekend so we can go to the Super Bowl and win the Lombardi trophy for the second year in a row... I promise, you'll find me a much happier and magnanimous reader/writer.
But seriously... Godspeeed in 2015! It can't be any worse than 2014. It just can't.
Cheers
John
190 2015-01-08 05:40:55
Re: Cool movie (28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Hey, GP. Heard good things about THE IMITATION GAME. And I like Benerdictine Cumbersnatch. He's a good actor. It's just not the kind of movie I would pay big bucks to go to the theather to see. Not enough galactic explosions, CGI monsters, or IMAX special effects to be worth my big screen while. If you know what I mean. I'll wait and watch it on Netflix. With Wanda's fallen-asleep head in my lap. Sometimes I take off my smelly socks and lay them across her nose and mouth to discourage her snoring.
Anyway, more and more of my time lately is being taken up by music. I'm in a HEART cover band, as you know, and we're getting gigs. And then, just last week, I was asked to join a one-off PEARL JAM tribute band, playing a benefit show on Valentine's day. So... Lots of rehearsing and whatnot. What's going on with you? How is 2015 shaping up so far? Evasive stem cells and literary agents, notwithstanding...
Cheers
John
191 2014-12-31 05:05:07
Topic: Collaboration (11 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Hey, GP. So I've decided to cast YOU as literary agent Jerry Leonard. To some extent, anyway. See, since ANTAGONY is an "unadulterated" manuscript, I'm going to incorporate your reviews as part of the narrative. Why? Because it's fun and what the hell. I haven't gotten any better ideas lately.
Thing is, Jerry Leonard is actually just the psyche warden at the prison, pretending to be Hamler's agent as a psychiatric 'tactic', so... Well, you know. Stay authentic and critical (so Hamler believes in you) but make sure to provide him some encouragement, too. To string him along and keep him talking/writing/tattooing.
No added pressure. Come to think of it, isn't that just a typical TNBW review, anyway? Carry on.
192 2014-12-31 02:23:37
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Oh, you know what I mean. I deal in wide generalizations. And one of the characters in ANTAGONY was a back up dancer for PINK before joining the Marines. He insists he isn't gay! To the point everybody is like... You doth protest too much, dude! He really isn't gay, but he does hafta stop and wonder sometimes.
Who IS ScarJo's squeeze? I can't keep up with that hose beast.
193 2014-12-30 04:25:03
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Well, I don't completely buy that Salon article excuse. If Lady Gaga tells her bodyguard she'd really like to bang the surfer dude in the second row... She WILL bang the surfer dude in the second row. Guaranteed.
If Eddie Vedder tells his bodyguard he'd really like to bang the surfer girl in the front row... Well, he might get to bang her. But there ain't no guarantee.
Simply put, men and women don't think the same way. Most women don't think of casual sex as a be all-end all slam and bam thank you ma'am conquest (like men do) but rather as surrendering themselves to someone they admire, for future allowances. Be it love or money. Therefore, hot women usually look to marry UP. Whereas hot men will pretty much marry whoever is willing to put out and put up with them.
For instance; Beyonce could have married and had better sex and made better-looking children with one of her male back-up dancers. But she chose Jay-Z. Why? Because he was one of the few dudes on the planet with as much or more money and cache as she had. She wouldn't respect her husband, or herself, otherwise. Therefore; I guarantee that Jay-Z has his side-pussy while I'm willing to bet that Beyonce gets little to none side-penis. She just don't think that way. Like you said: More often than not a vibrator is the safer, and more satisfying, choice.
By the way, NEKO CASE, the subject of that Salon article, hails from, of all places, TACOMA, WASHINGTON!
Listen here as she sings an ode to her hometown:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AXVBtBJjLw
and this one, too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q24fe1m4Go
Listen... If I ever get published and, god willing, the book gets optioned for a film or tv show? Well, since a large part of the action takes place in Tacoma, I intend to (nay, I would INSIST upon) making both of those songs more famous then they are.
194 2014-12-30 01:55:05
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
POST holiday shopping? Gimme a break. You and Wanda are both. Nuts.
195 2014-12-28 05:00:52
Re: Hello (18 replies, posted in HORROR AND THE MACABRE)
Hey, Phil. Looking forward to meeting people, are you? Well, then...
Meet me. John Hamler. Now you're fucked.
Just kidding. Okay, so The Exorcist is a bonfire. Seriously. Scariest book. Scariest movie. Ever. Period. The way it rides the fence between science and religion, treating them both equally and thus cutting your spectator's brain into two equally horrified halves... Brilliant.
The author *H.P. Lovecraft* is an acquired taste, but I recommend him. The way he writes, it's a slow burn. His prose is insufferably intellectual, but... The payoff is that much greater for the struggle. His twisted imagination sticks with you longer than say; a Stephen King novel. And I ain't bad-mouthing Stephen King or Dean Koontz or anybody. That shit is very entertaining. Even epic in scope. I just think you'll appreciate the roots of those writers, even more than you appreciate the writers themselves.
But what do I know?
Cheers
John
196 2014-12-28 04:34:15
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
Yeah. I guess I'm not absolved. Although, I gotta say... You've actually made me re-examine my admiration for the two women I lauded before, GP. It is fascinating what you people of the weaker sex find fascinating.
Now, listen. I've got genuine admiration for these women's skills, mind you; not just their superficial skins. That's where men and women differ, I think. The minute a woman shows adroitness, I'm immediately amazed and discombobulated.
"You telling me that a GIRL can do THAT?!" I say.
"NO FUCKING WAY?!" I say.
And thusly my libido takes a back seat to my emasculation. For a minute. I still wanna fuck the bitch, of course; but what else is new?
It's not quite the same for women. Women are NEVER confused or taken aback by male excellence. They're simply smitten.
For example; exactly what is it about Mick Jagger? He's gotta be the ugliest/sleaziest motherfucker this side of Steven Tyler and yet... Talk to any woman over the age of ** and she'll turn into a viscous puddle of orgasmic goo the minute he starts singing Start Me Up!
Just so you know... For most men, a "woman with power" is NOT a turn on. The caveman instinct is innate. Which may be why so many men "in power" turn out be such scumbag adulterers. Trading on their status and then paying for, or pushing favors for, sexual favors.
Anthony Wiener, Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, Sam Cooke, Bill Cosby, Mick Jagger... Must I go on?
The point is (and this is just a theory, mind you) that these men respect their wives and children enough to spare them the sick perversions of their personal sexual fantasies, but... They don't respect their families enough to actually come clean and talk about their perverted desires. They'd rather employ lesser models to fulfill them.
In other words, we men fear revealing ourselves as men to the people we care about. We can't let the missus see us as the pigs, dogs, and downright jackasses that we really are.
Also, however; it's an accessibility dilemma. While we can argue the intensity of lust between the sexes, just about any woman can have sex with just about any man she wants to. Any TIME she wants to. You wanna get fucked by the hot college guy with his shirt off, painting the house next door? All you gotta do is walk up to him and say: "If it's all the same to you, Chad, I'd like you to come over to my house later, around six o'clock, and fuck my socks off."
Done Deal.
And that's why, for a lot of women, it's either Mick Jagger or bust. Or the President. Or Elvis Presley. Or Tom Brady.
"Sorry, Chad, but... While you may be a heavenly slice of irresistible up-and-cumming beefcake, you just don't pose enough of a challenge. Or, for that matter, promise much of a future."
There is no such thing as a masculine GROUPIE, right? Girls scream for The Beatles, but how many boys scream for The Bangles? That right there is a fundamental divergence between the sexes. Period.
Go ahead, GP. Debate and extrapolate. I'm especially vulnerable right now. Seeing as I'm in my refractory period.
Cheers
197 2014-12-25 07:43:43
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
sO.. hERE'S some sexy stuff. Nothing like beauty + talent to make a man shrivel up and do what he's told:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAzMZBjF6Tw
Yes. That was a gorgeous big-titted gal on acoustic guitar.
Here's another one on acoustic drums:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oh_cSFFyk54
Okay, so she hits the skins like a girl, but... her technique is nearly flawless. Trust me. That shit is ultra-difficult to play. The sexist part of me is in conflict with the part of me that just wants to say: "Hell, yeah! Now show us your titties!"
Nevertheless, I gotta appreciate an artist for their aplomb. Period.
Both these musical gals trade on their beauty, but... Funny thing is, even if they were masculine trolls, they're talented enough to turn heads. Its our ingrained role-playing perception (men AND women) that gives us pause. Right?
Does this absolve me of being a sexist, GP? Or what?
*Bells will be ringing....*
*reference to a great Eagles Christmas song.
Cheers
John
198 2014-12-23 06:46:44
Re: Music 'n' stuff (90 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
The late great Joe Cocker.... As Heavy Metal as a singer can get, without actually being Heavy. If that makes any sense.
R.I.P. and thanks for the music, man. I was surprised to learn you lived in Colorado, man. Hope you weren't a Denver Broncos fan...
And there... I just gave him a rhyming eulogy.
Cheers
John
199 2014-12-21 10:09:10
Topic: RE-publishing (5 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)
So I've got a book chapter that I've done considerable revisions on. I would like to REpublish it. So, you know, it can get a fresh look-see on the front page of the website. Seems that this was a viable option back at the old website but now... I can't seem to wing it. Is it just me and my vanity and I oughta get over it? Or has this option been removed altogether?
200 2014-12-19 03:43:00
Re: Cool movie (28 replies, posted in HodgePodge)
I was watching Darlene Love sing and for some reason it reminded me of this great scene from Reservoir Dogs discussing Christie Love and Ann Francis and getting it all mixed up:
