I'm thinking about how best to introduce Connor to the reader. He did battle against the locusts in the prologue, but his real introduction comes in chapter 4, after the chapter in 430 AD. I've written several versions of this chapter already, although only the last two are relevant. In all cases, Connor is the POV character.
- In the short version, Connor is bullied by an older kid, Alessandro, and in order to fast-track yet another bullying session, he provokes the kid with insults. Alessandro belts him hard enough to knock him down. Connor seems barely able to get back up, but when he finally does, he quotes Christ about turning the other cheek, so Alessandro belts him there too. Connor plays dead, and Alessandro and his friends take off. Once they're gone, Connor sits up, and the reader realizes that he was faking death, which he's very good at. Just as he's sitting on the floor, a cranky priest find him and gives him hell for sitting on the floor and getting his clothes dirty. After giving Connor a silly lecture, the priest leaves. Connor shakes his head, walks away, glances at the ceiling, and says kill me now, Lord. In this version, Connor is completely non-violent, although the reader learns that there is more going on with Connor than you read in that chapter. A few chapters later, Connor will heal Alessandro's epilepsy with prayer despite the bullying and the two painful punches Connor endured earlier that evening. The two chapters combined will make a great intro to Connor and the role he pretends to play, but chapter 4, the first of the two, ends with that line about kill me now, which is funny but leans on the bullying to make the chapter at least somewhat interesting.
- The long version of this chapter treats a similar encounter as a flashback, but this second encounter is very different. Connor takes a similar hit to the face, but this time, he doesn't go down. When Alessandro tries to hit him again, he literally stops the bully's fist by grabbing it with a cupped hand and holding it fast. Connor eventually has to drive Alessandro to his knees and then flat on the floor. The second encounter takes place in front of many other kids. Connor insists Alessandro promise never to bully anyone again, otherwise he'll have Connor to deal with. Just then, two priests walk by. When they see that Connor has defeated Alessandro, they comment how team sports builds bonds of friendship. They're kidding of course but refuse to intervene, and just keep walking as if nothing is wrong (Alessandro's a known troublemaker). This version of the chapter shows Connor is incredibly strong but not vindictive or evil. In fact he ends up as a hero for the other boys.
- Given where this story is going, with Connor pretending to be the Emissary in "harmonious communion" with Christ, the pacifist Connor would choose option 1. If you don't mind a little violence committed by Connor, as he solves the bullying problem, he would choose option 2. The reader will see more of his mysterious strength in this version, and he's definitely not a pacifist in this case, and the chapter ending is much stronger.
The question: is it better to go with pacifist Connor to start, with a bland chapter ending, and then have Connor cure his bully in the next chapter involving the two boys (a few chapters further ahead)? Or go with the more powerful and heroic Connor from the get go?
Thanks
Dirk