Topic: Self-Doubt

I'm curious how you all deal with it or try to. Occasionally I'll be hit with the weight of the work required to become a writer. I'll feel like there's just too much to learn, that I lack the talent, work ethic, and luck to ever be successful by whatever parameters I set for myself. There are times it gets so bad I feel like giving up or treating writing like a hobby, not a career aspiration.

Those times are difficult. They can be a day, a week, a month, sometimes longer. It might be after a review, a denial letter from an MFA program, a re-write that finds more issues than I originally thought, any myriad of things. Negatives outweigh the positives, no matter the context.

Time and then working at it some more seem to work best for me but sometimes the really nagging doubt stays. Sometimes a little spite goes a long way but I doubt that's healthy or constructive. Though, there's a place for a chip on one's shoulder.

Who else goes through this? How have you managed it in the past?

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Re: Self-Doubt

It's easy to say "shrug it off" but there's more to it. I get the same self-doubts all the time. I usually take a short break and work on something else unrelated to writing, like my Train Sim or Flight Sim. Even playing a series of Solitaire games helps take your mind off it.

At my age (76), I'm way past making writing a career choice so I've relegated it to the form of a hobby that pays royalties.

Bill

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Re: Self-Doubt

That's some good advice. I went through it this weekend and I found some mindless things to do - Video games. I'm reinvigorated today to fix what needs to be fixed and write some more.

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Re: Self-Doubt

Hi Mark, your feelings sound all too familiar. I waited a long time before I dared to publish my chapters on this site. On the advice of a writing coach, I wrote my entire first draft to have a better idea of what I wanted to say before everyone chirps in and wants to change what I want to say.
Sometimes, I wake up with a sense of panic, realizing how worried I am about my writing. Like Bill, I do something else for a while. I've also increased the amount of exercise. That helps too. And then just keep writing and learn more about the craft of writing.  I strongly believe craft and persistence are the main ingredients of successful writers. Talent, here like in many other areas (I teach math where so many myths about the subject float around) is overrated.
While I'd like to publish my book (s), I'm at the age where I want to enjoy writing. If no joy is in it I don't want to do it.

This said another issue is coming up for me. Too often I find writers who publish their first chapter harshly criticized. And when not too harsh, in much more detail than a new writer can handle. Just another thought out there.
In short, keep writing. Stick with it. And have fun!
Christine

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Re: Self-Doubt

I think of all the failures out there.  J.K. Rowling, rejected 27 times.  Edgar Rice Burroughs, whose inspiration was "I can write as bad as them," referring to the best sellers of his day.  Yeats, who had to self-publish.  And like Douglas.  I think of it as a hobby that pays royalties.  I write the stories I want to see written; if others can enjoy and appreciate them, that's great.  The words of Fritz Pearls comes to mind.  "I'm not in the world for you, nor you in the world for me.  If we meet, it is beautiful.  If not, it can't be helped."  My work is for the ones who can appreciate my beauty.  Anyone else?  TT.  (Tough Toenails.)

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Re: Self-Doubt

Christine and Rachel,

Both beautifully put!

It brings to mind this gem: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2 … areer-lows

Which has, perhaps, one of the greatest quotes: “This darn CV of Failures has received way more attention that my entire body of academic work.”

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Re: Self-Doubt

When I started out, I thought I had what it took to be a writer. I knew how to put words together to make coherent sentences, I had a decent vocabulary, I knew all the rules of grammar and punctuation (not quite all, it turned out!). So when I started posting chapters here ten years ago, the critiques surprised and humbled me. But I learned and didn't become discouraged, because reviewers gave me positives along with the negatives. Ten published books later, I'm still learning. I'd like to think that each new novel I write is better written than the previous one. I still get the occasional scathing review here, but now I have the experience (and confidence) to consider such critiques as opinions - some on point and worthwhile, others not - rather than gospel. It takes time to find one's stride in this pursuit. Those with the writing bug, and you seem to be among that number, should stick with it, regardless of how gloomy the path ahead appears at the moment. Otherwise, one will always wonder about what might have been.

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Re: Self-Doubt

Every writer goes through this.  Periods of self-doubt are building blocks to see how sincere you are.  Or at least they are for me.  When I get to that point, I close what I'm working so hard on and write something light.  Something far removed from the one story or chapter that weighed me down.  Variety helps.  Then, if all else fails, a big shot of tequila works magic!  (just kidding!)

You're not alone with your feelings.  There are times when I open my manuscripts and wonder what I was thinking when I wrote that.  I let someone else read it, someone I trust to tell me the truth, and then go back to the drawing board and either start over, or delete sections that don't feel or sound right.  As I shared with you in a review, there is never a time when a writer is completely 'finished' with their stories.  If I think I'm finished, all I have to do is open that word document, and every single time I make changes.  Maybe small changes, but changes nonetheless.

A sign of a good writer is always thinking there's room for improvement!  You will have self-doubt days, and writer block days.  They disappear because writing is in your blood.  You didn't become a good driver overnight.  It took time and practice before you felt confident enough to pull out of the driveway and face other drivers.  Now, as the years have gone by, you don't even think of your driving abilities.  You just drive.  Same for writing.  Just write!

Cheers,
MJ

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Re: Self-Doubt

M.J. Thanks for the sage advice.  I can relate to everything posted here. 

Don

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Re: Self-Doubt

Part of why I wanted to start this thread is because I think it helps to know others share those feelings. At least, it does for me. Several authors I respect and admire have already posted in this thread.

I refer back to the CV of Failures:

"Most of what I try fails, but these failures are often invisible, while the successes are visible. I have noticed
that this sometimes gives others the impression that most things work out for me. As a result, they are
more likely to attribute their own failures to themselves, rather than the fact that the world is stochastic,
applications are crapshoots, and selection committees and referees have bad days." - Johannes Haushofer

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