Re: Male to Female Ratios

Dill Carver wrote:

Ancient gender stereotypes?

Of course if we conform to producing politically correct middle ground equality mush we'd be robbed of the power of great stories like 'Thelma and Louise' where real world sexism, machismo and sexist stereotypes deliver a prolific message upon those conditions.

Nowadays it is thought to be expected to produce a mixed gender, mixed sexuality, mixed race group of characters with at least one intelligent dominant alpha female and a slightly insecure yet sensitive metrosexual male.

The modern gender stereotypes are not real; they are the manifestation of liberal dreamers.

The world is a sexist, racist place where discrimination, machismo and feminism are as common place as people themselves. Sorry, but it is as true as human nature and your so called ‘ancient gender stereotypes’ walk amongst us, they work amongst us.

Write according to way it actually is, or the way you wish it to be, the choice is yours but don’t vilify those who write about reality.

Take a trip to the middle-east.

Wow! Finally! Nicely stated without the overtone of being (Even if you aren't) misogynistic. You are absolutely right about the world. We don't have to take a trip outside our living rooms. The reality comes to us via little screens, whether TV or computer or even iphones. So, yes! If you're writing about reality, tell it like it is. And if you're writing fiction or fantasy, do your damnedest to show the world you want to portray.

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Misogynistic? Not me I love women! I dream about waking in the morning covered with them.

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Dill, you're growing on me. That comment was sarcastically humorous, and I, in my emotionally dysfunctional state, laughed.

54 (edited by Dill Carver 2015-08-27 08:56:40)

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dagnee wrote:

I am not vilifying anyone.

I simply stated how I approach people.

When it comes to creating a character the writer has a specific 'type' in mind, and I was merely encouraging writers to create rather than adhere to social constructs, which are limiting in their scope and turn otherwise fine writing into a boring and predictable exercise in reading.

For example, To Kill A Mockingbird was written in 1960 when the social norm was a two parent household, mother stayed at home and father worked. Instead of that traditional family unit, Harper Lee created a single parent household in which the father took an active role in making sure his children were able to read before they went to school. Taking it a step further, in 1960 racism was acceptable and no southern white lawyer would have ever mounted such a vigorous defense of a black defendant.

Harper Lee didn't write characters that fit into normal society, but ones that stood apart from it.

Besides, if I want to read about the world the way it really is, I read non-fiction.

smile

I see, so you were actually discussing social constructs, attitudes and North American political socialization rather than individual human stereotypes?

A 1960’s racist differs from a 2015 or 1930’s racist?  Sexism has evolved into another type of sexism?  Sex offenders might approach the act of rape differently now that they have Rohypnol and handcuffs at their disposal, but the psyche of a rapist is now as it was in 200BC.

Yes, if you want to read about the world the way it actually is, read non-fiction. But unless your fictional characters are believable to real world readers, then your fiction will flop. smile

55 (edited by njc 2015-08-27 10:21:24)

Re: Male to Female Ratios

Dill Carver wrote:

A 1960’s racist differs from a 2015 or 1930’s racist?  Sexism has evolved into another type of sexism?  Sex offenders might approach the act of rape differently now that they have Rohypnol and handcuffs at their disposal, but the psyche of a rapist is now as it was in 200BC.

I'm not so sure about that.

There's a true story, a case out of the 1980's, when some hundreds or low thousands of Hmong people were quietly evacuated from Laos as refugees from the Communist takeover.  (The French called them Montiagnards, and I apologize for my poor spelling.)  They had many problems adjusting to American culture.  Some problems were mostly comic with a whiff of tragedy, like trying to grow rice in living room carpets.  Others were more severe.

One young man of the transplanted Hmong took a shine to an American girl and tried to get her interest.  She had no interest in him, so he did what he would have done back home in Laos: he got together with a bunch of his male friends and they kidnapped her.  They helped him rape her, in order to 'claim' her.

Not understanding their crime under Western culture and American law, they let everyone know what they did.  It was not difficult to convict them.

No rapist from within Western culture would advertise his act, or expect it to be approved by society.  He will know that his act is regarded as deeply wrong, even if he feels justified in it.

Social workers who were trying to help the Hmong assimilate approached the victim and she allowed them to explain things.  In what must surely represent a case for sainthood, she spoke at sentencing after the conviction and asked the judge to imposed a sentence recognizing  the moral and cultural ignorance, a sentence of mercy (which is often harder than simple leniency).

The Hmong culture fulfilled the first and indispensible requirement for a culture: it allowed the Hmong to survive through the centuries, as individuals and as a people.  And if we look carefully, we can find that things like the Stockholm Syndrome are likewise essential to survival of individuals and the human species when only that lowest of cultural requirements is filled.

I hope by this time you are screaming "WE KNOW BETTER!"  Yes, we do.  Not all cultures are equally good and moral, even though some 'lower' cultures may emphasize virtues that we have largely forgotten, or that we revile (the kind of courage necessary to challenge  and defeat a desperate food animal, for instance, or to defeat a neighboring clan's aggression).

Some cultures are better than others.  But all cultures face that indispensible first requirement of self-perpetuation.  A culture is not, and cannot be, a suicide pact.  The only cultures we know are the ones that survived long enough for us to see them, or to see their artifacts.

56 (edited by Dill Carver 2015-08-27 11:58:58)

Re: Male to Female Ratios

A great story and very interesting discussion njc, but I think this is a case of social/cultural confusion following a clash of values rather than a stereotypical rapist.

I don't think the Hmong guy was a rapist in the sense 'we' normally mean, he was merely following his social conditioning, his natural behaviour within his own culture. He loved the girl and wanted to marry her and this was the way it was done in his world.  Not a stereotypical rapist in the sense of that definition within western culture. The Hmong culture's defintion of courtship equates to the North American culture's definition of rape. A clash of cultures then?

The Hmong suitor, he is like the Korean refugees eating dogs as a dish of choice in Cincinnati in 1952 or the Romanian immigrants we watched last week last openly coaxing the ducks for the pot from an English village duck-pond with bread before merrily breaking their necks in front of local picnic families.  Or me on my first visit to the USA during the 80’in a MacDonald’s restaurant desperately scouring the place for a plate and a knife and fork and some vinegar for my fillet’o’fish, or asking locals in Miami, “Is there anywhere around here where I can get some fags?” (When requiring to purchase cigarettes). Or the Somalian first time flyer who shits on the floor of the aircraft toilet-room or the Belgian high-street butcher chopping up the horse for his customers dinner tonight. Or the Afghan who in an act of open commerce sells a young boy as a Bacha Bazi sex slave the same way we’d sell a pound of apples or the Jewish holy man who as we speak has taken a knife and is mutilating a male infant’s penis for the sake of his revered traditions… we none of us know we a doing something wrong when judged by the standards of an alien culture. No sir, these are not modern diversifications of ancient stereotypes, these are merely ducks out of water dependant upon whichever pond you a viewing them from (yes, a deliberate pun that plays upon my duck-pond experience of last week).

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A clash, yes, but not of the same sort as the fellow who doesn't know how to use a western toilet.  That involves techne and things, not people and deep moral conviction.  We would not condemn someone who had a squat toilet installed in his home (except that it might not meet the sanitary plumbing standards).  But we would condemn, and do condemn, people who sell women as sex slaves in our midst (and I'm not speaking of truly voluntary prostitution, and yes, there are some who'd argue there's no such thing--but I think we can make the distinction).

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So you think the Hmong guy is a stereotypical rapist?

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No.  He followed his culture, but his culture is morally inferior to Western culture.  He believed himself in the right within that cultural framework.  But a stereotypical rapist knows that he is regarded as being wrong in his act, even if, like Saddam Hussein, he can defy that cultural authority.  Saddam, or Mao, held the power of force that allowed him to escape his culture's judgement, but those that do not have such power act in secrecy and try to escape the consequences.  The Hmong youth believed that culture would support and affirm his act.  He was mistaken.

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I feel something is "off" about the lumping of comparisons with the selling of a sex slave marching in step with the circumcision example. The Afghan in the example will point to the Koran and Muhammed's historical example of taking sex slaves as justification. This is hardly beneficial to the boy or thought to be an act of love in the eyes of the Afghan seller. Contrary to this, the Jewish parents agreeing to the circumcision are acting in the belief of honoring an old testament covenant between Yahweh and the child (I'm not Jewish so a Rabbi may have more to say on this). Christian and Catholic parents can also be found to be paying homage to this tradition in using circumcision.

Male circumcision is widely used here in the U.S. and not just limited to the Jewish faith. Back in my health insurance days, the claims became so numerous the hospitals were then told to stop billing the procedure separately and it would instead be considered as part of their ancillary per deim fee to give you an idea of how prevalent circumcision was.

There was also the ricochet attempt to color the procedure as harmful in general with the colorful use of "mutilating" when the vast majority (Actually, I never spoke with or met a doctor or nurse in the health insurance field that believed it was harmful in the way portrayed) of physicians actually recommend the procedure as beneficial to reduce infections and allow for a greater degree of hygiene. Perhaps it would have been a better example to use the female example instead. The cutting of female genitals (A far more detrimental effect of removing the cliterous and not just the foreskin of a penis) has no voice in the medical community as beneficial and is widely agreed to contribute to long term adverse health effects on the female.

I would not want to see any readers here misled into thinking the male circumcision procedure is generally "mutilation" to their infant should they be contemplating having the procedure for their child. You can find a good outline of the medical benefits on Web MD.

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Re: Male to Female Ratios

In the language of anthropology, both are considered 'mutilation'.  Ear piercing and tattoos are also considered mutilation for this definition.

A great deal of polemic mischief is done by deliberately conflating the specialty (anthro.) meaning with the general meaning.

Language can conceal a lot of specious argument.  C.S.Lewis makes a point of this towards the end of Out of the Silent Planet, inspired in part by his education with 'Kirkpatrick'.  See Surprised by Joy, if you don't mind a long read for a single point.

62 (edited by Dill Carver 2015-08-27 17:22:07)

Re: Male to Female Ratios

Jube wrote:

Male circumcision is widely used here in the U.S. …

And female circumcision is common in Africa.

I was making no judgement about the perceived rights and wrongs or pros and cons of mutilating the genitalia of children (for non-medical reasons); my point was only that these practices/customs/rituals/traditions which are part of the ‘normal’ and accepted cultural aspects of one society are completely alien and abhorrent to another culture that has no such practices.

However, upon the subject of circumcision and speaking personally; I am from a society and culture that does circumcise unless there is a specific medical necessity. So if a man came at my son’s penis or my daughters vagina with a knife, be he an official from a religious cult or not, I would defend the child with my life from what I’d perceive to be a maniac, a deprived sexual molester. It is just as unthinkable to me as if someone else cooked our family dog and served her up for a family meal.

Whilst in other cultures such would be normality.

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You don't feel you are following in the footsteps of the Dennis Conner argument?

Dennis Conner, back in the day, was the U.S. representative for America's Cup in sailing. He ran into a particularly troublesome foe with a better designed New Zealand boat that he just couldn't overcome. His solution was to go back to the descriptions of the rules stipulating the sizes of the boats to compete and so used a Catamaran, thereby winning by a ridiculous margin against the New Zealand boat. When the issue made its way into court, the judge admonished DC for looking to use the literal statements of the rules while intentionally ignoring the spirit and intent of the competition.

The context of the examples that male circumcision was daisy chained together with was clearly meant to cast it in an abhorrent light. I stand by the validity of my objection, although I will yield to any counter of it's very likely few reading this will be in the near future deciding on circumcision of their newborn son. If that is the case, then I've simply been crying my Paul Revere warning from horseback for no good reason smile It was, however, a frequent sore point back in the insurance days from the customer base who would ask, "My friend says the procedure will maim and half-kill my newborn if I do this?", "I heard only a monster would do this to their own child?" Etc. I'm not saying Dill spoke to each and everyone one of these parents back then, but if you put enough Dills together on the subject, you get a 5,000 pickle count bucket at McDonald's smile

Re: Male to Female Ratios

Dill Carver wrote:
Jube wrote:

Male circumcision is widely used here in the U.S. …

And female circumcision is common in Africa.

I was making no judgement about the perceived rights and wrongs or pros and cons of mutilating the genitalia of children (for non-medical reasons); my point was only that these practices/customs/rituals/traditions which are part of the ‘normal’ and accepted cultural aspects of one society are completely alien and abhorrent to another culture that has no such practices.

However, upon the subject of circumcision and speaking personally; I am from a society and culture that does circumcise unless there is a specific medical necessity. So if a man came at my son’s penis or my daughters vagina with a knife, be he an official from a religious cult or not, I would defend the child with my life from what I’d perceive to be a maniac, a deprived sexual molester. It is just as unthinkable to me as if someone else cooked our family dog and served her up for a family meal.

Whilst in other cultures such would be normality.

I'm sure you mean a depraved sexual monster. (Though s/he might well be deprived as well.)

On this topic though, male circumcision does offer health benefits, as well as the fact that it is supposed to provided for better sexual relations. On the other hand, female circumcision (which is INDEED mutilation) is for the sole purpose of depriving a woman of sexual arousal and climax. It is to keep her subservient to males in those societies that practice it, much the same as creating eunuchs in ancient cultures so that there could be no possibility of a  relationship between female royalty and male servants.

65 (edited by Dill Carver 2015-08-27 18:38:18)

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Janet Taylor-Perry wrote:

I'm sure you mean a depraved sexual monster. (Though s/he might well be deprived as well.)

On this topic though, male circumcision does offer health benefits, .....s.

Depraved\deprived damn spell checker....

I did stress 'circumcision for non-medical reasons several times,' so I was talking explicitly about the act in the context of traditions and rituals.

However, I would state that I come from a long line of people from an ancestry of large families in the British Isles and I don’t know of any male (none of whom to my knowledge were circumcised), who suffered health problems as a result of having a foreskin. That is a lot of males and a lot of lifetimes free from foreskin related medical problems.

In certain circumstances the amputation of a limb can have health benefits as can the removal of a lung or the clipping of an ingrown toenail…. Are you advising me that my health would tangibly improve if I underwent a surgical process to remove my foreskin?

Female circumcision is a savage, brutal and inhumane mutilation (IMO) but once again, my only point was that it is a ‘normal and accepted’ tradition within some cultures and completely abnormal and abhorrent practice from the point of view of other cultures within which there is no such tradition.

As is male circumcision as a religious tradition from the point of view of other cultures within which there is no such tradition.
I’m only talking about POV. Different cultures have different perspectives and things can look very different when one is viewed and judged from another.

Belgians will defend eating horse flesh because to them it is normality just as the arbitrary stoning of a woman to death for a perceived religious indiscretion is perfectly acceptable to another culture; just as the eating of beef is widespread in America where in Hindu and Sikh cultures across the Indian subcontinent it is considered an abhorrent and sacrilegious practice; just like cultures that practice female circumcision will defend it whereas they might consider male circumcision to be a mutilation, whilst you condemn female circumcision but promote male circumcision as advantageous….

I’m not judging any of that merely pointing out that what is normal in one culture can be totally abnormal within another.

We can all stand up to support and justify the practices and traditions within our own cultures whilst maligning the practices and traditions of other cultures. That’s what human tribes do. My point was only to mention the gulf of what is considered acceptable or normal between these various tribes, not to assess the purpose or perceived value of those traditions.

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Jube wrote:

You don't feel you are following in the footsteps of the Dennis Conner argument?

Dennis Conner, back in the day, was the U.S. representative for America's Cup in sailing. He ran into a particularly troublesome foe with a better designed New Zealand boat that he just couldn't overcome. His solution was to go back to the descriptions of the rules stipulating the sizes of the boats to compete and so used a Catamaran, thereby winning by a ridiculous margin against the New Zealand boat. When the issue made its way into court, the judge admonished DC for looking to use the literal statements of the rules while intentionally ignoring the spirit and intent of the competition.

The context of the examples that male circumcision was daisy chained together with was clearly meant to cast it in an abhorrent light. I stand by the validity of my objection, although I will yield to any counter of it's very likely few reading this will be in the near future deciding on circumcision of their newborn son. If that is the case, then I've simply been crying my Paul Revere warning from horseback for no good reason smile It was, however, a frequent sore point back in the insurance days from the customer base who would ask, "My friend says the procedure will maim and half-kill my newborn if I do this?", "I heard only a monster would do this to their own child?" Etc. I'm not saying Dill spoke to each and everyone one of these parents back then, but if you put enough Dills together on the subject, you get a 5,000 pickle count bucket at McDonald's smile

I'm sorry but in respect of other people I really could not give a toss who is circumcised and who is not -- or why. Each has their own choice and my personal choice is that you don't come near me or mine with your knife unless you are a surgeon performing a medically required surgical procedure. Other than that you can circumcise the world… or not, because I truly couldn't care less. Within all that I’ve written I have never expressed an opinion that other people should not be circumcised or even that male circumcision is a bad thing… I merely stated that cultures that don’t do it for religious reasons have difficulty understanding those that do.  Obviously from the responses here, the opposite is also true and cultures that do circumcise cannot relate to cultures that don’t, so eager are they to promte and justify the practice.

Re: Male to Female Ratios

By no means, Dill, was I commenting on your possible health benefits. It was an observation contrasting the two gender "circumcisions." One does have benefits, though not always. But neither does it harm a man unless it's a botched job, which is rare. The other is completely without benefit except to keep women in line, away from any possibility of unfaithfulness.

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Yay! You nailed it, Dags.

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I read about an interesting study from 2012 that found that psychopaths had observable differences in their brains, with less grey matter in those areas related to empathy, self-control, fear of punishment, etc. In other words, stuff that would stop a normal human from commiting atrocious acts, especially violence. They distinguished people with anti-social personality disorders ("hot-headed") from psychopaths ("cold-hearted"). Unless they're also psychotic, psychopaths generally meet the criteria for sanity in the U.S. (they know right from wrong), but they're incapable of giving a damn. If one doesn't have the ability to stop a negative impulse, that seems like a damn good case of mental illness to me. It's too soon to know if there can even be a treatment for people with such brains (e.g., early intervention or medication). And jurors are afraid to put them in psychiatric hospitals, fearing doctors will let them out too soon. It's easier to declare them evil. Interestingly enough, people locked up in hospitals usually spend more time incarcerated than do their jailed counterparts for the same crime. And since prisons are notoriously bad at treating the menally ill, the jailed offenders get out sooner, and with virtually no psychiatric support. Duh!

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Except that some people with those differences nevertheless lead responsible lives.

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That wasn't covered in the study.

72 (edited by Dill Carver 2015-08-31 20:53:21)

Re: Male to Female Ratios

Dill Carver wrote:

…unless your fictional characters are believable to real world readers, then your fiction will flop

dagnee wrote:

As for my fiction being a flop, I have a book coming out the first of next year and I guess we'll see.

I apologise that my comment was ambiguous enough for you to interpret it as being personally directed.

I was speaking in terms of a broad and sweeping generalisation and what I actually meant was;

“…unless an author’s fictional characters are believable to real world readers, then their fiction will flop”

I’ve read mountains of fiction from new writers over the last decade and cannot think of any case where poor prose in respect of unbelievable/unnatural characterization has gone on to achieve high appraisal and commercial success.

Well, that’s not quite true, I am familiar with a couple of titles where the writing is so truly awful and plots so ludicrous that they’ve achieved an infamous degree of success and widespread readership as a result of the car-crash value of their shockingly poor prose.   

However, I cannot recall reading anything of yours and was not judging your ability to characterize within your own fictional writing.  I sincerely wish success to every new writer and that includes you and your publication.

All the very best, Dill.

Re: Male to Female Ratios

dagnee wrote:

But, seriously, how plausible is it for a whaling ship's captain to search the sea for the whale who bit off his leg? (I'm not including the metaphoric aspect of Moby Dick, because the average reader is of average intelligence and reads for entertainment and not enlightenment.) Or could anyone hold a grudge as long as  Javert did against Jean Valjean in Les Miserables?

The suspension of disbelief? The degree of which the quality of the story telling induces, being the X-factor.

If our characters are believable, then they live and anything is possible when the quality of writing supports those characters.
I read the Ken Follet’s the century trilogy, which is a serious investment in terms of time and effort. Over the course of the 20th century it follows a handful of families from different nations. Somehow family members are all interwoven in all of the major historic events of the era. The coincidence factor is completely off the scale; billion to one odds over and again. And yet it is an extremely successful series of novels and a decent read (if I say so myself).

Once we believe, we’ll believe anything. (Les Misérables, Moby Dick? Try the Old Testament of the King James Bible for the wildest and most irrational plots within any literature).

On the other hand I’ve read works with a totally plausible plot/storyline that I’ve put down part way though because I’ve lost my belief or never believed from the off. A wooden character, a cardboard cut-out character will do that for me as quick as you like.

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You nailed it Dill. The X-factor is everything. Once an author sells a premise enough to allow the reader to immerse, there's almost nothing they can do that will turn us off enough to walk away without finishing. If there is one thing that being a long-term member here has taught me, it's to put aside my preconceived notions. Strong story telling, regardless my usual tastes, biases, or preferred reading genres, always wins me over.  So much so in fact, that I still get surprised it.

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Linda Lee wrote:

You nailed it Dill. The X-factor is everything. Once an author sells a premise enough to allow the reader to immerse, there's almost nothing they can do that will turn us off enough to walk away without finishing. If there is one thing that being a long-term member here has taught me, it's to put aside my preconceived notions. Strong story telling, regardless my usual tastes, biases, or preferred reading genres, always wins me over.  So much so in fact, that I still get surprised it.

As a young man I used to read Ian Fleming's James Bond novels and loved them even though on the inside I knew the plots were outlandish and ludicrous  to say the least.
...and the same author wrote Chitty Chitty Bang Bang - a flying car visits imaginary countries full of caricature level stereotypes and it has totally immersed and enthralled children and adults alike for decades. Har!