I am a 23-year-old aspiring elementary school teacher who spends far too much time reading fantasy novels and watching professional wrestling. I've been writing since I was a child. I write primarily what I read, that being fantasy, sci-fi, horror and, sadly, comics. I listen to angry and depressing music. My greatest ambition is to get paid for the words that I type on my computer, or at least to get out of this hellhole known as Tucson, Arizona and go someplace where the temperature occasionally drops below ninety degrees. I am a grammar nazi. I am a tall, handsome Adonis, if you discount the 5'10" stature, forty pounds of extra weight and copious amounts of body hair. I treat my body like a temple of Bacchus. I drink, smoke and don't even come close to getting laid. I have the annoying tendency to make soundtracks for my stories. I'm a huge fan of Edge and Christopher Daniels, and I still can't believe that Chris Benoit killed his family and then himself. I love the Bears, lord help me. I think political and religious biases are stupid. I believe in God, but I don't really care if you do or not. I think "Heroes", "Dr. Who" and all anime is lame. I play role-playing games at least once and sometimes as many as three times a week. I have more dice than I will ever know what to do with. I am a straight white male living barely above the poverty line. I moved out of my parent's house when I was 18, but my mother still buys my groceries and pays my cell phone bill. I despise both Coldplay and Weezer, and don't really see what the big deal ever was about Radiohead. I'm Jewish, but I don't practice and I think the Israelis are in the wrong. I play electric guitar badly and sing well enough to do karaoke, but not really. I like beer. I think Marvel Comics have really gone downhill lately. I most enjoy working with fifth graders, because they are old enough that you can actually teach them something, but not so old as to have been subjected to the bitter torment that is middle school. I will never again take another online class. I believe Alan Moore is a genius because I read Watchmen, not because I saw V For Vendetta (although that movie rocks and I own it). I think the best fantasy writer currently working is George R. R. Martin. I have never been able to drag myself through the entirety of the Lord of the Rings because it is insanely boring, and for that matter I never really liked The Godfather. I formerly majored in creative writing, journalism, media arts and linguistics. The evolution of language change is far more fascinating than anything on the internet. I am madly in love with semicolons and still don't understand why I can't start a sentence with "and."
